Quiet Life With Monster Girls
by 1ForThePriceOf2
Summary: After escaping a terrible fate in the ghost alley, Yoshikage Kira finds himself in a world where the lines between myth and reality are blurred. As the neighbour of Kimihito Kurusu, Kira must now cope with the multitude of issues presented by the Cultural Exchange Program while trying to keep his second chance at a quiet life intact. Image by Tiamatio.
1. Murderous Beginnings

Yoshikage Kira was, as almost anyone who had ever met him would agree, a man who treasured tranquility and despised stress. He woke up at the same time every morning and took the same scenic route to the same office job, week in and week out. Every day after work finished he would go straight home and work out for an hour, which left him incredibly fit and healthy for a salaryman. Even his relationship status was subject to a routine; many women who worked with him were attracted to his good looks, and often asked him out on dates around the sleepy town. However, every single one was politely turned down like clockwork. After a while they began to suspect that he swung the other way, though those rumours were soon dashed when a male co-worker was met with similar results (or lack thereof).

Overtime was a foreign concept to Yoshikage, since working long hours would result in him having no time to conduct his elaborate personal health ritual consisting of a nutritious meal, a mineral bath, moisturisers, warm milk and stretching. This meant that every assignment given to him was completed both on time and within regular hours without fail. As a result he became something of a legend throughout the company's Morioh branch, though he always went to great efforts to decline any sort of recognition for his workplace excellence.

His weekends were spent in an equally predictable manner. Saturday usually involved trips to the local stores to pick up any goods that he might be low on, while Sunday was reserved for leisure activities such as reading, gardening and even some sculpting, which Kira had recently taken an unexpected liking to. He had become quite good at the fingers, but properly shaping the palm still evaded him.

In short, Kira was the very definition of an average man, living alone and attending his office job every working day. He didn't have any big aspirations, though. Peaceful and orderly, that was how he liked it. This was the self-proclaimed "quiet life" of Yoshikage Kira, an existence meticulously crafted to be at risk of no such things as illness, poverty, fame or anything else that could cause him to lose sleep at night. It was a life befitting a man who wanted to live his life peacefully, much like a plant, which he definitely was. He was quite proud of his unbroken routine, which he was convinced was the most stress-free life possible, and intended to follow it to the letter and live peacefully until the end of his days.

…

Which didn't quite add up, considering that he was currently in a ghost alley being dragged into an unknowable hole in reality by innumerable disembodied arms.

"W-Where are they going to take me?!" Kira's eyes were wide, both him and his Stand shattered into pieces by the grasping limbs behind him. The question was directed at a teenage girl in front of him, who merely stood there, absolutely still. She faced the opposite direction, meaning that Kira could see nothing of her face, only the gaping knife wound he had left fifteen years prior.

She wore a pink dress down to her knees and had hair of a slightly darker pink, which she wore at chin length with an Alice band. Her skin was like fine porcelain, unblemished save for the mortal injury on her back, and her rose-coloured eyes were glued straight in front of her; she knew that if she turned around to face her murderer, she would suffer the same terrible fate.

"Who knows?" Reimi's voice was completely devoid of any emotion, as were her eyes. Despite having been trapped in that hidden alley by Kira for a decade and a half, her voice was controlled enough to sound rehearsed. "But… I'm sure it's somewhere you won't be able to rest in peace."

As soon as she said that, the force of the hands on his body seemed to increase tenfold, almost as if the hands were responding to her hatred. Indeed, they were, for this was the power of her Stand which awakened in the very last instant of her life, wanting to help its user but unable to reach her quickly enough.

The Stand was the embodiment of the usually-pleasant Reimi's wrath, full of hatred as she was at the world that let her die at the moment of its awakening. Over time the Stand stewed in its loathing and became the dreaded spirit of ghost alley, lashing out at any visitor who turned around and only responding to its user when she herself was in a wrathful state. Now that Kira was finally backed into a corner, Reimi finally allowed 15 years of simmering rage to surface in the form of a single subconscious command: punish Yoshikage Kira.

And her Stand obeyed.

Unable to even move in his current state, Kira was restricted to screaming in terror while he was dragged into the churning abyss behind him. First the pieces of his legs were swallowed, then his waist, and so on until his head was completely engulfed. With a final echo of Kira's voice from within, the hole in the fabric of space closed up once again. Thus ended the tale of the Morioh Murderer, Yoshikage Kira.

At least, that is what many people think. In actuality, Yoshikage Kira's story doesn't end there. As it turns out, Jotaro Kujo did indeed prevent time from reversing. Unfortunately, he was too late to stop the murderer's ability from activating altogether. When Kira was pierced by the Stand Arrow a second time, he had gained an ability that protected him as best as it could. What he didn't know, however, was that it had the ability to change its effect depending on what it was that Kira needed at the time. Under regular circumstances, Bites The Dust took the form of a bomb that protected Kira by turning back time should its target reveal his identity. However, when Kira activated it the second time, its effect was delayed by Star Platinum's barrage. Only once he had reached the ghost alley was this new form of Bites The Dust able to activate. It was finally ready to supply what its master needed, and right now he needed a way out.

There was a sudden flash, and the unmistakable sound of an explosion rang out through the void as Killer Queen's shattered body reformed in a show of magenta light, as did Kira's. It raised its right hand and plunged it into the darkness, which warped and stretched until the tertiary bomb's newfound strength pierced its walls and detonated them. The ghostly hands were blown back by the force of the bomb's explosion, leaving both the murderer and his stand completely unbound.

Kira, unable to believe this turn of fate, could only gape at his Stand's sudden retaliation. What happened? His stand had acted on its own without any input from Kira, not even a reflex. Then it hit him. This was it! Whenever he got backed into a corner with no escape, fate would always offer him an opportunity to succeed! Killer Queen's new ability to tear not through time but dimensions was fate's intervention, and the source of his demise, Jotaro Kujo, was the cause! He could escape the torment of these hands! Luck had once again sided with Yoshikage Kira!

Unwilling to let this final chance escape him, Kira had the pink Stand grab onto the hole in reality and drag the two of them out before the grasping limbs could recapture him. A powerful force almost like gravity nearly dragged them back inside, but Killer Queen's overwhelming strength proved enough to save them both. His plain black shoes struck solid ground and real air filled his lungs, which were very much alive again. Risking a look back, he saw that the hands were struggling to breach this new reality. It seemed that all their power had been used up in the initial attack, and they didn't have nearly enough energy for a second try. One hand managed to force itself through the hole and lunge at Kira, but Killer Queen simply grabbed its wrist and crushed it, making it crumble into nothing.

To say the least, Kira was elated that his captors had lost so much strength that Killer Queen could easily defeat them now, even in its damaged state. What's more, it didn't look like they could even reach him through the strong gravity of the dimensional wall, each individual hand lacking the raw physical might of his own Stand. Unable to hold out any longer, the ghostly limbs finally receded as the hole in reality repaired itself. It was as if the hole was never there to begin with.

Content that he was in no danger of being dragged back into that perpetual torment, Kira stopped to take in his surroundings. From what he could tell by the narrow walls, stagnant puddles and near-overflowing dumpsters, he was currently stood in an alleyway. It seemed to be nighttime in a town rather similar to Morioh. However, he was certain that he was somewhere else due to the absence of the characteristic ocean breeze of Morioh Bay. What struck him as even more peculiar was the contents of billboards around him. Advertisements for brands that he was fairly certain didn't exist decorated various buildings, either standing tall on their roofs or hung up on the sides. He appeared to be in a sort of commercial district judging by the clothing stores, restaurants and other establishments he could see. Behind the windows of a rather dingy-looking electronics store stood multiple television sets showing a news channel; the perfect place to gather at least some basic information on wherever he was.

He stepped out onto the pavement, the soles of his work shoes clacking against the rough concrete. Now that he was out of the alley he could see that his initial assumption was more or less correct. A distinct lack of a city's skyscrapers combined with businesses that would still require a fair amount of customers to stay in what seemed to be relatively expensive business were telltale signs of a substantially large yet quiet town, just like his beloved Morioh. But that didn't matter right now; what mattered was the news channel. Upon reaching the window, Kira realised the thick glass made it impossible to hear any words. It was fortunate, then, that the owner had the foresight to enable subtitles.

 _As of today, it has been a month since the election of our President-_

Kira stopped reading there. President? What was the damnable box on about? Japan had a prime minister, not a president. And what's more, he was fairly certain that Keizō Obuchi was a _man_. Yet the television in front of him denied this fact as well, instead showing a middle-aged woman with ginger hair - probably dyed - wearing a plastic smile and shaking hands with a few faceless suits. He was in Japan, right? The signs were all in plain Japanese, as were the subtitles. But that was impossible. Unless…

Suddenly possessed of a new theory, he strolled down the street and looked into the windows of various establishments. The names of the products on display and many of the shops themselves were strangely warped versions of the ones he knew, most notably a fast food restaurant by the name of "WcDonalds" which advertised a certain "joyous meal". Quickly snatching a newspaper from a stand (while ignoring the protests of the hapless proprietor) and flicking through it, he found that his hypothesis was confirmed. Nearly every product, politician and celebrity had a different name to what he remembered. Even some of the less significant countries had slightly different titles, by the looks of it. The year was still 1999, though, which left no time whatsoever for such drastic changes in the world. Such a thing could only be possible if he were in a… different… universe…

A victorious smirk began to spread across Yoshikage's face. He had ended up in what he was now convinced was a different dimension. Nobody knew him, which meant that nobody could catch him! Not those alley spirits, not Koichi Hirose, not Jotaro Kujo and not Josuke Higashikata! He was free to go! His smirk turned into a wide grin, and he began to chuckle under his breath until that too evolved into unrestrained - and slightly unhinged - laughter at the top of his lungs.

"They're gone! They're all gone! I'm finally free!" Kira couldn't restrain his joy. This was a brand new world where he could start again with a clean slate! He would take this second chance with pleasure and reconstruct his quiet life, just like it was before that damned Josuke and his little Stand user circus tore it apart before his very eyes.

"You alright there, buddy?" came a rough voice from behind him. Kira wheeled around and was met with a group of three dirty-looking vagrants. One was an elderly man with a worn-looking cane and another was an equally old woman. The last one was wearing a balaclava that made it impossible to determine their sex or age. All three of them seemed to be around 170 centimetres tall, and wore multiple layers of ratty clothing with stains of varying shades in multiple places.

"Someone with a suit as nice as that in a back alley like this? You must be either very lost or very drunk." The old man wheezed as he approached Yoshikage, apparently the victim of breathing difficulties. "Whichever one it is, somebody as well-dressed as you must have some nice trinkets on you, am I right?"

With that, the elderly bum dropped his facade and whipped a rather sharp switchblade from his left coat pocket, holding it up to Kira's neck and letting the cane clatter against the concrete. His companions also produced their own weapons, the old woman holding a large kitchen knife and the masked individual brandishing a rusty crowbar. In all, it was a display that would have been thoroughly menacing if Kira didn't possess a Stand that could transform anything into a bomb. As it was, the whole thing just elicited more chuckling from him, still high on the sensation of total victory as he was.

"You playing with me, you fucker?! I'll kill you, goddammit!" The foul-mouthed beggar drove a glove-covered fist into Kira's stomach, apparently unused to his victims regarding him in such a casual manner. It didn't particularly hurt, of course, as well past his prime as the mugger was, but Kira decided to fake pain and folded to the ground anyway. All according to plan. "Come on, you son of a bitch! I know you have something in there! Cough it up!" The mugger yelled, shaking Kira's collar violently. The motion dislodged his wallet from his inner pocket, letting at fall to the ground with a soft thud. His assailant's mood instantly improved, his eyes lighting up.

"Ah, there you go. That wasn't so difficult, was it?" The half-wit took the bait and picked up the wallet, opening it wide and then sharply inhaling. "You two, take a look at this! This dumb fucker's carrying his life savings around in his wallet! In cash, no less!"

His friends huddled around him, simultaneously gasping at their good fortune. "Look at those bills! There's got to be a hundred thousand yen in here!" The old woman crowed with glee. Just as Kira predicted, the man soon succumbed to his greed and reached out to grab the huge wad of paper. Fortunately for the serial killer, this wasn't his first time being robbed.

The instant the man's hand made contact with the money, he was wiped from the face of the Earth by Killer Queen's primary bomb. Before his accomplices could even register their leader's demise, the catlike Stand shot out its right index ringer at supersonic speeds and put a penny-sized hole through the crone's skull, following it up with an explosion identical to the first. Two dead, one to go.

When Kira turned his eyes on the remaining mugger, he noticed that their clothing seemed to have unusual bulges beneath them, almost as if they were storing extra body parts beneath the layers of coats. Even the balaclava seemed to have small protrusions at the sides. A deformity, perhaps?

Taking advantage of Kira's momentary lapse in concentration, the surviving vagrant took off sprinting in a bid to escape. The first thing that he noticed was that whoever they were, they were faster than any normal human had the right to be. There was no way that he was going to catch up. Could he have encountered another Stand user, so soon? Not about to let a potential enemy escape, Kira took a page out of his enemy's book and had Killer Queen pick up a jagged stone and put it between its thumb and index finger, akin to the way one would flip a coin. Taking careful aim, his Stand propelled the rock through the air with incredible force. His makeshift bullet hit home and embedded itself in its target's lower leg, making her cry out with pain and drop her crowbar. The Stand user grinned to himself, quite satisfied with the results. He may have hated that Higashikata bastard with every fibre of his being, but he had to give credit for thinking up such an ingenious way of overcoming a close-combat stand's short range.

Strolling up to his third victim of the night, Yoshikage had his Stand clamp its hand over where the mouth would be behind the balaclava, then ripped it from his target's head. No amount of Stands, ghosts or arrowheads could have prepared him for what lied underneath.

The person underneath the mask turned out to be to be a woman in her mid to late twenties. She was quite good-looking for a vagrant, with high cheekbones, mousy brown (though messy) hair and surprisingly little grime covering her face. None of that mattered to Kira, though. What had drawn all of his attention was her _ears_. Rather than the rounded ears that one would expect of a human, this woman had pointed ears covered with glimmering orange scales that shone in the moonlight like so many gold pieces. The trail of scales continued down her neck and beyond the three collars of the coats she wore. Now that he looked properly, her muddy brown eyes also possessed reptilian slits for pupils. Just what _was_ this woman? Certainly not human.

She appeared to notice his dumbstruck expression. "What? Never seen a dragonewt before? I thought all you business types were all over the Cultural Exchange," she choked out from behind his Stand's palm, obviously in a great deal of pain.

The last member of the Kira family couldn't force himself to say anything, instead staring at her with a dumbstruck expression on his face. Of course, he had encountered non-humans before, but all of them were either Stands belonging to humans or were humans originally. This was the first time he had actually found himself face to face with an entirely different species altogether.

"I'll take that as a no, then. Where have you been livin' for the past few years, dipshit, under a rock?" She said with a shaky voice, grinning up at him spitefully. Despite the agony in her calf screaming at her, she wouldn't let this purple bastard take her lightly. Now it was Kira's turn to frown. Lizard-creature or not, he wouldn't be talked down to by someone he intended to kill.

While Killer Queen held her down, he took his thumb and drove it into the bloody crater his attack had left in her leg. The defiant gleam in her eye vanished as her whole body tightened like a coiled wire. She tried to scream, which proved to be a futile effort with his Stand's hand covering her mouth and nose, preventing her from attracting any attention. He grabbed a handful of her hair and forced her brown eyes to stare into his own blue ones.

"I'm going to be completely honest with you. There's a strong possibility that you're going to die here. You've seen my face and my ability, which means you're likely to tell others about what happened here. Not only that, but you've gone out of your way to insult me. Extortion and assault are quite illegal, you know? You saw what happened to the last two people to try that stunt." she made a noise that was probably a promise that she wouldn't tell a soul, but she was muffled by Killer Queen. Kira ignored her pleas and continued. "In short, you are now a danger to my peace of mind. I could end you at any moment, understand? And try not to pay attention to the fact that you can't see what is is that's restraining you, it doesn't matter to somebody like you anyway." though her eyes shone with tears and her entire form shook uncontrollably, she managed to nod once.

"I'm glad you understand. Now, you may not have a choice in whether you get to keep walking anymore, but you can still decide whether you live or die. I can either release you, or I can make sure you die just like the other two. It all depends on how well you answer the following questions." he emphasised his point by raising his thumb, still wet with her blood. She got the message and nodded again, more vigorously this time. He wouldn't let her live, of course, but he figured he'd get more information this way.

"Good. First of all, explain to me what you are. I'm talking about your species. You're not human, so what are you? And by the way, if you try to scream then I'll make that hole in your leg twice as wide."

Horror briefly flashed over her face before she reined it in and nodded slowly. It seemed that she had accepted her position, and was now ready to talk. Good. He willed Killer Queen's hand away from her mouth, though it still held her down to prevent escape.

"I-I'm what's known as a dragonewt. We're a cold-blooded d-draconian species. We're descended from dragons, w-which means we have wings, claws and t-t-tails-" she sucked in a sharp breath and clenched her fists as her pierced calf spasmed involuntarily, gouging scars in the ground with the aforementioned talons. A tail and wings? Those must be the bulges beneath her coat. So she was hiding her true nature, then. Interesting. Kira allowed her to recover before continuing. "W-we're closely related to the lamia and wyvern species and can use 'em for stuff like blood transfusions, but-"

The hand-stealing serial killer motioned for her to stop. This was a fair bit of information to take in. "I don't need a complete essay on your biology. Basically, what you're saying is that multiple species from mythologies across the globe are, in fact, real?" Yoshikage asked. she nodded.

"Would it be safe to assume, then, that other non-reptilian species exist? Centaurs and harpies, for example?" another nod.

"I see. Earlier, you mentioned a "Cultural Exchange". What exactly is that?"

Her reptilian eyes blinked in uncertainty. "You don't know? I thou-" she didn't get to finish that inquiry as Killer Queen's hand shot to her throat, clenching hard enough that her windpipe threatened to give way.

"I didn't ask you about what I do and don't know, did I?! I asked you what this Cultural Exchange is! Won't you people ever learn not to answer questions with questions?!" he snarled. His face was inches from hers, murderous intent radiating from him. The dragonewt shook her head as best she could, beads of cold sweat running down her face. The Stand's iron grip eventually released, finally allowing her to suck in a huge mouthful of air. Kira sighed inwardly. How was he supposed to extract more than basic details from someone as clueless as this? Any more and he might be tempted to blow her up on the spot and seek information elsewhere.

After allowing the disheveled woman a moment to recover from a brief coughing fit, Kira waved his hand lazily for her to speak. "O-okay, so, the Cultural Exchange is the big government branch for takin' liminals - that's their fancy word for us - into countries to show 'em what human society's like. It's got rules stoppin' anyone from attackin' other species or touchin' 'em inappropriately and whatnot. That's how most of us get here. They stick somebody with some random family and cross their fingers, hoping it goes well for 'em." Some semblance of fire returned to her eyes, and she spat on the ground. "Lazy fuckin' pigs is what they are. It's their fault I'm out here on the streets! If they put more effort into that damn system o' theirs, then I never would'a had to run away!" It seemed like she was going to continue her tirade, but a quick squeeze just above the gaping wound stopped her in her tracks.

"A world filled with mythical creatures that exist side by side with humans. This is quite the development. Thank you, you've been extremely helpful." Hope began to show on her scaled face, obviously believing she would be allowed to walk away. Kira kneeled on the floor, lowering himself down to her level. "However, there's one thing I need to ask. My name is Yoshikage Kira. Would it be possible for you to tell me yours?"

Obviously confused by the change in pace but unwilling to deny him an answer, she swallowed and tentatively spoke. "M-Most people call me Annie, but my real name's Amat. So if that was the last question, then can I go? Y-you'll let me go, right?"

He didn't give that question an answer, instead deciding to turn away and look into the distance, faintly smiling. "Amat, hmm? What a beautiful name you have, definitely fitting for someone of your race." Yoshikage hummed in delight, as if savouring the name like wine. "In fact, just saying it makes me feel positively pleasant."

He turned his head towards her. "As it turns out, Amat, this is a rather exciting time for me. I've just recently escaped a terrible fate, so I'm in quite an excellent mood. And now, you've given me yet another reason to be happy."

She looked at him, confused. Before she could inquire as to what he meant, Kira took her hand, gazed into her eyes and gave her a terrifying smile. His mouth curled up sincerely at each corner, contrasting with eyes that were as cold and unfeeling as a corpse's. It was the kind of smile that only an accomplished murderer could give.

"You see, I've never had a non-human girlfriend before."

No response came from her. Indeed, no response could come from a woman without a body. The smoke cleared and revealed that the only remnant of the dragonewt girl was her clawed right hand. The back was covered in orange scales and it was somewhat dirty from the homeless lifestyle, but that wasn't much of a problem for Yoshikage. He'd settled for worse in the past.

"Ah, that was satisfying." said the serial killer, looking down at his prize. "Come on now, Amat. I still need to find some temporary housing." With that, Kira tucked the disembodied hand into his inner pocket and set off down the street, a soft yellow glow from the lamps illuminating his path. Maybe he could find a half-decent hotel nearby.

 **-To be continued in chapter 2: Another Place, Same Mind-**


	2. Another Place, Same Mind

**Hello, everyone. I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read and review the first chapter. This is my first real attempt at writing something, so I wasn't sure what sort of reception to expect. Needless to say, the positive reaction was really nice to see. That said, please be critical of the story. I want to improve as much as possible, and I can only do that through criticism.**

 **Without further ado, here's chapter 2.**

 _-1 Year Later-_

Kira awoke to the sound of the local radio station, slivers of the morning sun sneaking past the curtains and tickling his face. He turned to the alarm clock and smiled as he tapped the clock, stopping the noise. 7:30 exactly, just like always. Brushing the covers aside, he got up out of his bed and opened the curtains, welcoming the new day. Dressing gown and slippers covering his body, Yoshikage exited his room and walked over the the stairs, stopping momentarily to adjust a slightly crooked painting. Yes, he had a lovely feeling that today would be a good day.

Taking a right at the door of the stairs, Kira walked through the dining room and into the kitchen. Soon the house was filled with the sounds of cooking and smells of scrambled eggs, sausages and toast. After sampling a bite of egg to ensure it was just right, Kira loaded up two plates and placed them adjacent to each other on the dining room table.

He looked to the ceiling and his smile dropped, brows furrowing slightly. Yoshikage glanced at his watch and sighed.

"It's already eight and she's still not awake? Well, it is a weekend, I suppose." Kira said to no one in particular. "Still, I should get her up before this goes cold."

Leaving his meal on the table, Kira walked back up the stairs to his bedroom and carefully eased the door open. Arriving at the other side of the double bed, he leaned over and smiled. "Good morning, you. Are you coming down for breakfast? It's bacon and scrambled egg, your favourite."

The amputated right hand offered him no response, instead laying on the pillow where he left it the night before as dead as ever. Kira, not one to be deterred by the silent treatment, merely chuckled and picked it up, carrying it downstairs with him. Placing it at the plate opposite to his, he sat down and picked up his cutlery. Before anything could even pass his lips, however, his eyes moved to his fourth girlfriend of the year. "What, not hungry again? If you don't want it then feel free to leave it for me." He said. A few seconds later he stopped, and a look of realisation dawned on his face.

"Oh, is that what you're so worried about?" Kira began to softly laugh. "I've told you before, Naoko, you're being silly. Women like that used to ask me on dates all the time where I used to live and I turned them down every time. Do I look like I'm about to break that streak?" The Stand user paused, as if letting 'Naoko' speak. Then the smile returned to his features. "Exactly. Now come on and get ready. Today's going to be a big day."

* * *

An hour later, Yoshikage and his 'girlfriend' had finished getting ready and were walking down the street, Kira wearing a white jacket, white trousers, a green shirt and polished black shoes. Naoko, on the other hand, was decorated with a single expensive-looking jade ring while resting comfortably in Kira's inner pocket. Yoshikage had made sure that she was looking her absolute best; today was a very special date, after all. Namely, it was the one year anniversary of his arrival in this world.

He couldn't help but smirk. An entire year since his total victory against the Stand users of Morioh. Looking back, he still couldn't believe how simple it was to set up a new life here. Stealing enough money to buy the luxurious home he lived in now was trivial with Killer Queen, and the leftover cash had went towards paying off a small crime syndicate to forge him a birth certificate, driver's license and a number of other legal documents. The only real hard part was later exterminating said crime syndicate to prevent himself from being traced, and even then it had only taken a little detective work and a tap from his Stand's index finger. He even managed to secure himself a high-paying office job, just like back in Morioh.

Yes, it had all gone smoother than Kira ever could have hoped. Not one thing had happened during his time here that caused him to lose sleep, and that was cause for celebration. Oh, and celebrate he would. For tonight, he had booked a visit three months in advance to what he believed was the best restaurant in town, the Lakeside Inn, which served the most mouth-wateringly delicious seafood risotto he had ever tasted. However, that on its own didn't do justice to such a momentous occasion. Kira's plan was to reserve the three tables at the far end of the building, tucked away in a corner far from prying eyes. One would be under his name while the other two would instead be under false names of his own invention. He would take the one furthest to the back, of course, while the others would be unable to have anyone sit at them. To top it all off, Kira had booked the tables half an hour apart, ensuring the fake reservations would line up perfectly with when his food would arrive. With such precautions, he would be able to anything he wanted while being at nearly no risk of being discovered.

In short, Kira was very much looking forward to his romantic, candlelit dinner with his girlfriend.

"Good morning, Mr Kira!"

Snapped out of his reverie, Yoshikage turned his head to the left, a far warmer air replacing the slightly menacing aura. Watering the shrubs in front of his house with a garden hose was Kimihito Kurusu, Kira's next-door neighbour.

Kira, against all odds, _liked_ Kimihito. This was quite strange because Kira didn't really like anybody, aside from his girlfriends of course. Wherever the killer went, his interactions were always somewhat businesslike. He was polite, of course, but he couldn't deny that he usually wanted to be somewhere else. It didn't matter if he was in the workplace, in stores, anywhere really, Kira was just more distant than other people. Even his father was more or less just convenient to him in his later years, useful on occasion and nagging him about how to murder better the rest of the time.

Kimihito, though? No, Kira liked him because he was so _normal_. Whenever the two of them passed on the street they would stop for a brief chat, and they would often share leftovers from their cooking (though Yoshikage had long accepted that the 22-year-old was his culinary superior). Kimihito didn't like making too much noise and always tried not to impose on people. He didn't invite many friends round, either, and certainly wasn't one for parties despite being of that particular age. Yes, the young man was the kind of person who kept to themselves, preferring not to pry into other people's business and instead being content with his own ordinary life. The ideal neighbour, and Kira's kind of person.

Shaking his head, Kira turned to him with a smile. "Kimihito, how many times do I have to say it? Call me Yoshikage. You're my neighbour."

Kimihito laughed. "I keep trying, but it just doesn't feel right. Besides, you're older than me."

"Only by twelve years."

"Even so…"

They continued on like this for a while as Kimihito moved around to different plants. As they passed the three minute mark and his neighbour was still working, Kira truly realised how big the property was for the first time.

"You know, this is quite the garden to take care of." He said, looking past the young man. It seemed the shrubs extended all the way out to the back, getting gradually larger as they progressed.

"It's quite the property to take care of. It used to be easier because my parents used to help out, but they're not around as often anymore…" Kimihito's voice trailed off, his smile becoming slightly more strained. The blonde salaryman frowned; the absence of his neighbour's parents was, as he had learned in the past, something of a tender subject. In fact, he'd never even met them. Though he would definitely deny it if he ever asked, Kira was sure his amicable neighbour felt like his parents had abandoned him in a way. Even his relatively useless father had helped him learn how to dispose of a body before he got his Stand, and he didn't want to imagine how short-lived his career would have turned out without Yoshihiro's input while he was still learning the ropes.

"I'm sure they'll come to visit you soon. Their year away is almost over, right?" Kira said in an attempt to comfort his neighbour who just nodded, shoulders still slumped. The older man frowned internally, trying to think of some way to change the subject. Just as he was about to give up and return to consoling him, Kira realised that the best way out of this was to play on the downtrodden boy's greatest weakness.

"Although, if you really want someone to help you with yard work… then why not get a girlfriend?"

As Yoshikage predicted, Kimihito's mood instantly changed from dejected to absolutely flustered. Cheeks glowing scarlet, he turned and shot Kira a scandalised look. "M-Mr. Kira, what are you talking about?! It's way too early in my life for that sort of thing! A-And besides, I haven't met the right person yet!"

Before he could continue his undoubtedly lengthy explanation, Kira leaned over and clapped his neighbour on the shoulder. "Well, I'd love to stay and chat about relationships, but I've got to get down to St. Lady's. They're due to bring out the fresh batch of sandwiches soon, and I'm not about to be cheated out of my lunch for a second time this week. Have a nice day, Kimihito."

Kira turned on his heel and continued on down the road, grinning playfully to himself as he left his hapless neighbour sputtering and searching for a reply to his teasing. Indeed, Kira had to admit that he liked being the Kurusu boy's neighbour, thanking his fortune once again that he got to live next to someone as quiet and agreeable as himself.

* * *

The commercial district was abuzz with the clacking of shoes on pavement, people filing in and out of every store clutching plastic bags full of all manner of goods. Inside one of the stores, Kira himself perused one of the aisles in search of lunch. St. Lady's, being this world's equivalent of St. Gentleman's, had quickly taken the place of Kira's favourite bakery. Just like the original from his own dimension, this sandwich shop boasted high-quality sandwiches set out at 11AM sharp with fluffy bread, fresh vegetables and tenderloin still warm from the oven.

Eyes finally settling on worthy prey, Kira reached out towards the back of the shelf and picked up a particularly loaded sandwich with significantly more tenderloin than the rest. The clear plastic packaging made a rustling noise as his fingers wrapped around his soon-to-be meal, careful not to ruin the sandwich's contents in the process. As he rose from his kneeling position on the tiled floor, the familiar weight in the inside pocket of his jacket seemed to get somewhat heavier and he paused mid-rise.

"You know I can't bring you out to look right now. It's a weekend, this place is practically infested with people." the serial killer sighed, giving his girlfriend an admonishing look. Unfortunately, living in a place larger than Morioh meant that the St. Lady's also got more business than its counterpart. As a result, it was nigh-impossible to let his girlfriend choose for herself on a working day, let alone a busy Saturday such as this one. He felt bad about it, of course, but he couldn't risk anyone finding out about his true nature.

Kira stood up to his full six foot height and set off towards the checkout, freshly made sandwich in hand. Despite the fact that he towered over most of the other shoppers, years of honing the art of blending in caused him to go almost completely unnoticed as he walked between the shelves. That was, at least, up until the one on his right began to fall towards him.

Eyes darting towards the danger, Kira sprung into action. Summoned to its master's side, Killer Queen reached out towards the shelf to halt its descent. However, Yoshikage then realised what a stupid idea that would be. The shelves in the store were huge, taller than Yoshikage himself, constructed of thick wooden planks and stocked full of baked goods. Because of this, they were incredibly heavy. Of course, it would be no problem for his Stand, which could lift and throw a large car quite easily, to stop it in its tracks. The problem was the recognition he would get from it. Under no circumstances could Yoshikage, even as muscular as he was, have caught it without raising questions. Questions meant attention, attention meant fame, and fame meant the end of his quiet lifestyle.

Instead, Killer Queen grabbed Kira and dodged to the side, dragging the Stand user out of danger. And not a moment too soon as the shelves came down upon the ground with a resounding…

…

Nothing?

Kira looked back at the shelves, more than a little confused at the peculiar absence of loud noises. The shelf was suspended at a forty-five degree angle, its contents having slid to the front yet miraculously managing to avoid falling off. It was almost as if time itself had stopped, which was incredibly unnerving given Kira's more-than-unpleasant experience with stopped time in the past. As Kira's gaze moved towards the bottom of the wooden rack, however, he saw just what it was holding the shelf up.

A long, snakelike tail was wrapped around the lower half of the shelving unit. With crimson scales that glimmered in the soft yellow lighting of the store running its entire length, the reptilian limb was truly massive, 20 feet long at least. Kira followed the trail of scales up the length of the limb and back to its source.

At the top of the tail was the body of a young woman, likely in her early twenties. The transition between her skin and scales was covered by a blue denim skirt, held up by a leather belt with a large yellow buckle. Her midriff was left bare, revealing a thin waist with pale flesh. Covering a substantial bust was a pale yellow button-up shirt, the bottom of it tied in a thick knot to prevent it from bursting open. Waist-length hair as red as her scales framed her face, which seemed to be flushed equally red in embarrassment.

"Gah! I'm so sorry, Ms Smith! I wasn't looking where I was going! I just got excited by all the egg sandwiches and I-I just twisted and-"

"There's no need to worry, Miia. These aisles are just a little small, that's all." said an older, yet feminine voice from behind the snake woman. An official-looking woman walked out from the cover of the other woman's red hair, every part the government agent in her black suit. Jet black hair hung straight down to her hips, two parts over her front while the rest hung at her back. Sleek sunglasses covered her eyes, though they did nothing to mask the mirthful smirk on her lips.

"Besides, nobody was hurt." the suit reassured her charge, her head moving over to where Kira was standing. "Although you should probably apologise to the man you nearly crushed, hmm?"

Before Kira could escape this absolute disaster scene, the snake woman gasped and, in the blink of an eye, slithered right over to him. She snatched up his free hand in both of hers and looked straight at him, reptilian slits gazing into rounded human pupils. To be honest, the intensity of her gaze was sort of unsettling.

"Ah! I'm SO sorry, sir!" the young woman cried, her voice full of remorse. "I-It's just that, being a lamia and all, these aisles, well, they're not built for somebody my size, so I tend to knock things over! I didn't mean to almost crush you, are you okay?! I'm REALLY, REALLY SORRY!"

By this point, the woman, apparently Miia, had let go of his hand and was deeply bowing in an exaggerated display of traditional Japanese customs. A large crowd had already gathered around them, some people fumbling around for their phones. Kira began to sweat; he had to wrap this up fast.

"I-It's fine. Don't worry about it, really…" his eyes darted left and right, searching for a way out. With no clear escape route and some people already with phones out of their bags, all hope seemed lost until he laid eyes of the offending shelf. Miia's attempt to stop it from falling had obviously taken its tole, the powerful tail muscles having nearly broken it in two. In fact, as his good fortune would have it, it looked about ready to collapse…

Summoning Killer Queen, Kira directed the Stand towards the shelf, where it lightly brushed the splintered back panel with its fingertip. Thumb met finger and a tiny explosion was set off, eliminating the final few bits of wood holding the thing together. With a feeble moan, the top half finally gave way and crashed onto the floor, splattering the tiled floor around it with various sandwich fillings.

The diversion worked perfectly. Startled by the sudden noise, the crowd stopped reaching for their phones. Miia and the official were also distracted, their heads angled towards the wreckage with wide eyes and open mouths. Taking his chance, Kira silently slipped out of the aisle through a space between two shelves while everyone else was preoccupied, managing to reach the door completely unnoticed.

* * *

It was only once he was a block away that he finally allowed himself to relax.

"Thank goodness." Kira breathed out, wiping the sweat from his brow. He had made it to a secluded bench in a nearby park, surrounded by tall bushes. Before him was a large pond, reflecting the midday sun while the motion of animals underneath it caused tiny ripples to spread across the surface. It was the perfect kind of place to hide out and calm down in times like this, and had been scouted out before by Kira in case of emergencies. Dropping himself down on the worn-out wood, the serial killer's hand dove inside his pocket, feeling the familiar shape of Naoko's slender fingers. Running his palm over hers was wonderfully therapeutic, and he soon stopped hyperventilating.

 _That was too close. Those rotten pieces of shit almost put my face on the internet,_ he thought to himself, grasping his stolen sandwich hard enough that the bread began to deform. _I, Yoshikage Kira, just want a quiet life, so what have I done to deserve this? That damned snake woman…_

Kira leaned back against the bench and closed his eyes, exhaling slowly and running his hands through his pale blonde locks. He didn't understand it. Why was he troubled with such an awful disaster on today of all days? Luck was his constant ally, yet he had become the centre of a public spectacle. If not for his Stand and quick thinking, then his face would have been plastered all over the web for every filthy reprobate to point at and laugh, and his peaceful existence would have crumbled to pieces. A shiver ran up his spine at the mere thought, and he clasped his girlfriend even tighter.

A group of swallows passed over him, whistling their shrill birdsong and snapping him out of his reflective trance. Kira looked to the sky and watched the clouds form and disperse in the wind. The sounds of civilisation were absent in this part of the town, the only loud noise being a quiet breeze which rustled the autumn leaves of the bushes. Some of them broke off and danced freely in the wind, creating little whirlwinds of orange, yellow and brown throughout the park.

Beholding the natural world was always one of Yoshikage's favourite pastimes. Whenever he gazed upon small birds flitting through the sky or fish darting between patches of underwater vegetation, he felt utterly at peace. Seeing them go about their short, hectic lives always made him feel better about himself and his situation; the prey animals could not dream of a peaceful life such as his, constantly running and hiding from hunters, every turn of a corner possibly bringing a new predator into the equation. Such lowly creatures could never be the masters of their own fate like a human, and being surrounded by animals that could never bring him harm was incredibly relaxing. Only in a place such as this could he feel truly safe. But it wasn't mere prey Yoshikage was fascinated by. It was the predators.

Since a young age, Kira had admired the ability of predators to snuff out the life of another to sustain their own. By killing other things, predators elevated themselves above that which they devoured. They did not fear the cold embrace of death like their food, but rather had the divine right to decide just what would die that day. Of course, this meant that an apex predator had the most authority of all, completely free of such things as being hunted. Of all the animals in the world, it was those at the top of the food chain that reserved the right to have the most desirable, peaceful lives of all. Even all these years later, Kira still remembered the day that he first discovered this fundamental law of life, and his true nature.

* * *

 _Yoshikage sat outside in the garden of his house, in his hands one of the gerbils his father had brought home that day on the way back from work for his ninth birthday. It was a small thing barely three months old, soft brown fur with the occasional white patch covering its wriggling form. The Kira boy watched with interest as his new pet wormed through gaps in his fingers. However, a soft pat to his left dragged his attention away from the gerbil. Snapping his head round, the blonde boy found himself face to face with a huge cat._

 _The thing was absolutely massive. It appeared to be of the Maine Coon variety. Covered in matted grey fur that spread out wildly in all directions, the cat had to be more than a metre long from its nose to the tail swaying behind it. Its paws were at least as wide as Yoshikage's palm, claws visibly extending out like blades. Two ears torn in various places pointed towards the sky, alert for any hint of danger. A pair of amber, predatory eyes leered out from black pits beneath the mass of tangled fur, like baleful spotlights zeroing in on their target. And from the look of things, that target was the tiny animal between his hands._

 _In his shock, Yoshikage's hold on the small rodent loosened enough that it was able to squeeze out of his grip, hitting the stones beneath them and bolting off towards the shrubs that bordered the garden. Before the young boy was even able to react, the giant feline exploded into action. In a split-second it had traversed half of the not-inconsiderable breadth and pounced on the unfortunate gerbil. The cat's mouth was locked around his pet's neck, already having crushed its spine between dagger-like teeth while droplets of the gerbil's lifeblood leaked out of the wounds and onto the ground._

 _Yoshikage's blue eyes were wide, his mouth agape at the brutal spectacle before him. Yet no tears fell, and no shrill screams escaped his throat. Rather, he stood there and watched, intrigued. Where other children would have ran crying to their parents, the young Kira boy merely observed with morbid curiosity as his pet was devoured by the massive hunter, listening out for and memorising every crunch of bone or tear of flesh. As he watched, Kira began to notice how rugged the cat looked. Its ears were torn in various places and it had a long scars lining its body, telling of many hard-fought battles. He realised that this wasn't just some house cat that had wandered into his garden; it was a true survivor of the streets that lived how it pleased, dominating the food chain and bringing its judgment upon every creature it crossed paths with. As the top predator, it had the unrestricted right to kill._

 _Seeing the murder of a creature stirred something deep within Yoshikage, something that had laid dormant until then. It was like a void in his stomach that he didn't even know existed before now had opened its maw and demanded to be filled. The grizzled feline before him was unlike any animal he had ever seen. He had seen stronger, deadlier animals at the zoo before, of course, but they were little more than glorified pets who relied on human handouts, completely restricted by what their owners decided. This cat, though? It was truly without anything to hold it back and lived by its own rules. It was free to sleep, free to eat, free to roam and live however it pleased._

 _Free to kill._

 _Having seen enough, the blonde boy stood up and walked back into his house. The hungry feline looked up momentarily at the movement, though turned back to its meal once the human was out of sight. Yoshikage made nary a sound as he moved across the wooden floorboards, his face completely straight with purpose-filled eyes locked dead ahead._

 _A short while later, he walked back outside with a second gerbil._

* * *

The serial killer had finally calmed down, glistening beads of sweat gone from his brow and breathing once again normal. He looked down at the watch on his wrist, surprised to see that it was already 11:25. At that moment he realised he was a now quarter of an hour late for his lunch, a fact both the watch and his growling stomach reminded him of.

"Hmm. I suppose it's about time to eat. Don't you, Naoko?" Kira whispered to the limb in his jacket. The murderer stood up and scanned the area for possible trouble, peeking out from behind the hedges. Content that no witnesses were nearby, he gently lifted the disembodied hand from his pocket and set it to work opening the sandwich wrapper. Its dead fingers moved back and forth as if they were alive, deftly removing the plastic wrapper as Kira controlled the severed tendons with incredible dexterity. In no time at all the sandwich was sitting in her palm, tantalising and ready to be eaten.

"Now, would you like the first taste or should I take it?" he said to the hand, looking down at it lovingly. He paused for an answer, then laughed softly at the reply. "Why, thank you. You're far too good to me."

A serene smile spread over Kira's face as he savoured his first bite and looked out over the pond, watching a mallard lead a trail of ducklings into the safety of the reeds. Yes, he was truly, utterly safe amongst the creatures of the wild, for not one of them could threaten those at the top of the food chain. And in this concrete jungle, he was the ultimate predator.

 **-To be continued in chapter 3: Dinner For Two-**

* * *

 **And that's the first half of this story arc.**

 **While I'm here, I'm gonna address some things I may have left a little too unclear. This version of the MonMusu world is still in 1999, since the year didn't matter as much in its story as it did in DiU (1999 BIZARRE SUMMER). They still have all their modern technology, though, which is okay since JoJo's German army already had cyborgs and truth serum in the late 1930s. It's also not in a city anymore but rather somewhere like Morioh, since I feel Kira would have noped the fuck out of there to live somewhere else the moment he discovered the place could be described as something bigger than "large town".**

 **Also, everyone should check out the Manga "Ana Satsujin". It's pretty good.**


	3. Dinner For Two (Part 1)

**Hello everyone. I'm glad to see so many people reading this, it feels great. I think that this is the chapter where things start to pick up a little bit. Also, "The Big Gey", I won't say anything about what other characters there will be aside from the main MonMusu cast, but I can say one thing that might interest you. There WILL be Stands.**

 **By the way, if anybody's wondering where Kira lives now, then search up "Kurusu House" and look at the wiki page that pops up. On the first image you see, there is a house to the far left with cream walls and a brown roof. That's Kira's house.**

 **Enjoy.**

* * *

Agent Kuroko Smith was not somebody who was easily surprised. After spending so many years as a key member of the Cultural Exchange, she had seen many a thing that would make an average person's head spin. Corpses rising from the dead, tree-golems, ten metre tall giants, an entire underwater civilisation and more were all part of her average working week, which had desensitised her to stunning new experiences. On top of that adding her experience as the leader of M.O.N. meant that even live combat didn't faze her in the least. Overall, she was the kind of person that was virtually immune to the concept of bewilderment.

However, when the man Miia almost crushed with a shelf had disappeared with literally nobody in the store having seen him leave, it would have been an understatement to say she was confused.

The tall M.O.N operative looked around the store, unseen eyes narrow behind her sunglasses. It just didn't make sense. How could a regular human possibly be that stealthy? She could have accepted it if she alone had missed him; even she got sloppy sometimes. But the entire building, filled with people surrounding him from every angle? That should have been impossible. It _was_ impossible. So how in the world had that average-looking shopper managed to completely elude her? Smith sighed her patented long-suffering sigh. There was something off about this.

Distracted by the sound of rapid-fire apologising, Smith turned her head towards her charge. Miia had rushed over to the employees at the till and was now frantically explaining herself. The poor staff members could only stand there awkwardly, trying to assuage the liminal girl's distress. Smith sighed. In her eagerness to be accepted by the human world, she hadn't even noticed the man's inexplicable disappearance. Oh well, it was probably for the best anyway. If she found out about it, the luckless lamia would probably become even more stressed than she already was, and that was something that Smith had neither the time nor coffee to deal with at the moment.

The coordinator walked over to them and tapped the extraspecies girl on the shoulder, prompting a small 'eep' from her. "Alright, Miia. I'm sure they've accepted your apology. A few sandwiches and a shelf won't do much to a business this successful, _right_?" Smith's eyes peeked over the top of her sunglasses to stare into the eyes of the employees, the last word of the sentence spoken with the slightest hint of danger in her tone. Three of them hastily nodded, obviously not wanting to get on the rather imposing government agent's bad side.

A fourth one, however, apparently had the pluck to bring up the issue. A short young man with messy brown hair, probably still in college by the looks of it, shuffled slightly forward and spoke up. "I-I'm sorry, ma'am, but that's still company property. Since you broke it, policy says you'll have to pay for-"

He was interrupted when a pocket-sized book was thrust at his face. Its leather cover was a deep, plain navy, and the only words on the front were the letters _C.E.B.S.O.P.H_. all in crisp white.

"Page 11, Article 14, Section B. In the event of damages caused by any party protected by the Cultural Exchange Between Species Act, any costs will be covered in full by the Cultural Exchange. Although not mandatory, the Cultural Exchange encourages the affected party to familiarise themselves with the laws and terms concerning bodily and property damage in order to properly address the problem." The agent rattled off with rehearsed efficiency.

"Uhh… what?" He asked the coordinator dumbly, taken aback by the display.

"It's part of the Cultural Exchange Between Species Official Pocket Handbook." said Smith. "We were originally going to put the whole thing on the cover, but it was just too small to be legible. In any case, all you need to know is inside this lovely little book here. There's a phone number and email address somewhere in there, read it yourself if you want." she placed the tiny tome into the boy's hands, closing his fingers around it for him before he could say another word.

"Well, now that that's all sorted, I think it's high time we left, Miia. It's already 11:25, and we've still got to meet your host." with that, Smith grabbed the girl's hand and nonchalantly dragged her out of the automatic doors, ignoring the half-hearted protests from the employee as she went.

As soon as they had walked out of view of the the shop windows, Smith pulled her charge aside and grabbed her by the shoulders, locking her gaze with her own. In an instant, her demeanour changed from the familiar lazy government worker to something more dangerous, almost predatory in nature. Even from behind the shades, the government agent's eyes gripped the young woman with a fierce intensity that she couldn't overcome no matter how hard she tried.

"M-Miss Smith… W-Why are you staring at me like that?" Miia asked, shifting uncomfortably. Even though she was a lamia and thus many times stronger than any human, she couldn't help but shake the feeling that, compared to Smith, she was way out of her league.

"Miia," Smith began. "you are in this town representing your entire race. All the world's eyes are on you and your actions, and they're no doubt going to judge you harshly." the coordinator's grip tightened. "There are people in this world, horrible people, who see extraspecies people as nothing more than glorified animals and a waste of good oxygen, and they'll take every chance they can get to broadcast that viewpoint, including distributing exaggerated stories of property damage. That would mean incredibly bad news for interspecies relations, and could destroy everything the Exchange is trying to accomplish. It could mean wars, Miia. Do you understand?"

Miia nodded meekly, subconsciously shrinking away from her friend's drastic change in character. It wasn't like Smith to be like this; she was the kind of person to put off important paperwork in favour of abusing her position to scrounge free meals. The person before her now was totally different. Her tone had taken on a serious edge, each question less of a request and more of an order. Honestly, it was more than scary.

Smith suddenly stopped and looked down at her hands, then up at the girl's terrified expression, then back at her hands again. Realising what she was doing, the vice-like grip around Miia's shoulders relaxed as the older woman pulled her hands away and set them on her hips, letting out a weary sigh. "I'm sorry for getting all worked up like that. I didn't mean to frighten you, honest." She took the shades off, giving the lamia a sincere look. "It's just that this is an incredibly tense time for everyone at the Exchange. There's more people passing through the system than ever as well as a growing number of scumbags tying to exploit them, so the whole department's had to take things up a notch. I shouldn't have taken the frustration out on you like that, and I'm sorry. I promise it won't happen again."

The younger woman's face was uncertain for a fraction of a second, still taken aback by the outburst. However, her trusting nature won out and the frown was replaced with an understanding smile. "Don't worry about it, Miss Smith. It's okay, really. I know I'm just a naive girl compared to you and everyone in M.O.N., but I can understand how hard all the work you do is. Everybody gets antsy sometimes, right?"

The coordinator smiled, genuinely warmed by the lamia's generosity. "Yeah, I suppose that's true. Thank you for being so understanding." She went to reach inside her jacket, which Miia now noticed had a rather out-of-place bulge around the midsection. Smith pulled it out with a flourish and revealed it to be two sandwiches, one of which being the very egg and cress ensemble Miia had been eyeing in the store. The snake woman gasped.

Smith grinned her sly grin. "Before you complain about my blatant thievery, the Exchange is about to pay for all those damages. One sandwich can't hurt, right?" she passed the sandwich over, the wrapper crinkling as it exchanged hands. "Now, you go find somewhere to sit. I've been told there's a nice little park just up the street here. Go grab a bench for us, will you?"

"Okay!" the snake girl smiled, setting off down the street with her tail undulating with enthusiasm. Halfway down the street, however, she stopped and looked back, apparently realising her handler wasn't beside her any more. "Wait, are you not coming?"

She waved her hand lazily. "You go on, I'll catch up. Important calls, secret missions, dangerous people, et cetera. I'll be there soon."

The younger woman lingered a moment to giggle at the coordinator's comment, then set off back on her original course, getting smaller every second. After a while, she was completely gone from sight. Smith's genial mask disappeared as her arm slowly dropped to her side, a shadow settling upon her face and revealing the nature of her true thoughts. Yes, dangerous people indeed. No matter what she told herself, she couldn't shake the feeling that there was something _off_ about that blonde man from St. Lady's. And whatever it was, she didn't like it one bit.

* * *

Yoshikage Kira strolled out of the car park and down the rural lane, taking a glance at his watch and grinning. 7:45, perfect. It was only five minutes until his table was scheduled for him, and Kira could barely contain his eagerness. Of course, if an onlooker didn't know Kira, then they wouldn't even notice this fact. However, the barely perceptible twitching of his right index finger, his only tell, gave away his excitement. For the first time since Morioh, he would finally be able to go on a date with his girlfriend. Not a walk around the park or a comfy night in the house, either. No, this was to be a proper candlelit dinner at a high-quality restaurant, their every need tended to by professional waiters in crisp white shirts. Oh, he couldn't wait.

He had taken a drive out of the suburbs into the countryside that bordered the town, hills and fields filled with all manner of crops stretching out in every direction. This far away from civilisation he felt strangely at peace, the gentle whispering of the wind stirring the hedge rows into a slow, lazy dance. The sun had lowered its position since his lunchtime and had dyed the clouds deep hues of orange and violet, causing the trees and shrubbery around him to form darkened silhouettes pressed up against the sky. It was a gorgeous sight, like something straight out of a Van Gogh painting.

In the hours between his eventful visit to St. Lady's and now, he had returned home and changed into a far more luxurious set of clothes, a far cry from his usual purple business suit. He wore a navy blue blazer with glossy black buttons that shone in the dim evening light, in the chest pocket a single grey, lily-like flower. Underneath there was a light pink shirt, the soft hue so subtle that it appeared white at first glance. On his lower half were matching navy trousers and his favourite pair of leather shoes, beige in colour and decorated with small swirling patterns on the sides. Finally, nestled lovingly inside his blazer pocket was his disembodied limb of a girlfriend, hidden so masterfully that there wasn't even a bulge. On her finger he had placed a large and expensive ring, silver with precious stones of various shades lining its circumference. Eventually, Kira turned a corner and arrived at his destination.

The Lakeside was an absolutely stunning work of architecture. Once a small brewery back in the early twentieth century, it had gone out of business and grown decrepit, stagnating for decades. However, it was recently purchased, renovated and given the name Lakeside on account of the large lake that surrounded it on all sides, save for the small length of land used as a path. It was absolutely massive, with at least a hundred metres of nearly-crystal clear water spreading out in every direction by Kira's estimate. Occasionally, one would see tiny orange fish brush against the surface to snatch a morsel, sending tiny ripples out over it, then dive back under at a moment's notice. Although, the grandeur of the lake, though undeniable, was nothing compared to the restaurant itself. Two stories of exquisite stonemasonry stood in the middle of the lake, perched on a large concrete base topped with polished wooden decking that shone in the light of the frosted glass lamps hung from the walls. The building was mainly constructed out of pale red bricks, with polished granite arches framing the pristine windows that dotted its face at regular intervals. Lining the edge of the slate roof were beige stone motifs, swirling around and in on themselves to form intricate floral patterns that became impossible to track as they bloomed. It all gave the place a very rustic, comfortable aura that Kira couldn't help but love.

Despite all this, the most exceptional display of architecture was by far the clock tower that shot up from behind the main building. If the lake was a gold ring and the main building was a diamond necklace, then the tower was the Crown Jewels. A completely new addition to the property, it stood tall above the rest of the landscape like some enormous sentinel standing watch over its domain, the dark shape its tapered roof formed against the evening sky impossible to miss. The clock was a illuminated by floodlights, with a brilliant white face and incredibly ornate hands in the image of two huge metal roses, complete with golden petals discernible even from afar. And the best part? The top of the tower had been converted into a separate dining room containing far fewer tables than the lower floors, making for a far more private dining experience that was, understandably, coveted to the point that you had to pay a hefty fee to even reserve one of the tables. A person would have to be well-off to even consider one, let alone the three he held.

For Kira, though? A real, quiet dinner with his girlfriend was priceless.

* * *

"And here's your seat, sir."

A young waiter pulled Kira's seat out from under the circular table, motioning for him to sit. He had to say, the plush upholstery looked incredibly enticing.

"Ah, thank you." he said to the young man, setting himself down on the chair. "And before I forget, could you please fetch me the wine list?"

"Of course, sir, right away." the waiter inclined his head and promptly hurried away down the stairs at the other end of the room. Finally alone, Kira could properly relax and properly enjoy the fruits of his labour. The room around him was, to say the very least, stunning. The furniture was made of rich, varnished wood, the tables dressed with white tablecloths with gold embroidery. The walls were half white wallpaper and half vertical wooden planks, engraved with intricate scroll patterns. Around the room stood various works of art; from the walls hung a number of different landscapes, and small sculptures of cherubs and the like sat on pedestals where nobody could knock them. In the middle of the room hung a giant crystal chandelier, the flames of the candles warping and distorting as they flickered through the crystal screen. It bathed the room in a soft yellow glow, giving everything inside something of a high-class twentieth century feeling. Finally, of course, there was the clock face which took up almost half an entire wall all by itself. Only up close could its immensity truly be admired, the diameter probably being equal to about six Kiras standing on top of each other. The clock wasn't actually functional on account of the tower not having enough space for the gears, of course, but it was nice to see the expert craftsmanship up close nonetheless. All in all, the entire place radiated pure class.

"Um, sir?"

Kira was snapped out of his daydreaming by the voice of the young waiter from before, now holding a long wine list in one hand and a menu in the other.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm sorry. Thank you." Kira accepted the list and flicked through it, eyes quickly scrolling down each page and moving on to the next. Finally, he found what he was looking for.

"Yes, I'll have this Moët and Chandon, right here." said Kira, indicating a rather expensive bottle of vintage champagne.

"I'll bring it right away, sir. Your menu?" the waiter asked, extending the book towards his customer. He was stopped when Kira held up his hand.

"No thank you, I already know what I'm having. I'll take the crab meat soup for starters and the seafood risotto as my main." Kira said, eyes closed as he confidently listed his order.

"I see you've been here before, sir! I've never seen somebody order without even using a menu before, that's pretty impressive!" Kira grinned at the young man's praise. Of course he hadn't, nobody prided themselves as much on their organisation as him, Yoshikage Ki-

"But unfortunately, we're fresh out of the shrimp needed for the risotto."

…

"Eh?"

The waiter's professional smile suddenly seemed strained. "I-I'm sorry, sir, but we've run out of shrimp. It was used up recently, and we haven't got another shipment yet. I'm sorry, but you'll have to choose something else."

Kira's jaw clenched imperceptibly. He had come here to celebrate the anniversary of his freedom and share a meal of his favourite dish with his girlfriend, and it wasn't even available? First that incident with the snake woman and now this. How vexing.

He'd just have to deal with it. "That's fine. In that case, I'll have the grilled sea bass instead." he said, albeit with a small hint of annoyance. He'd remembered that dish too, just above the risotto on the menu.

"We definitely have that, sir." the young man almost breathed, evidently relaxed now that he was no longer at risk of dealing with an irate diner. "I'll be right back with your champagne." with that, he turned on his heel and walked over to the elevator across the room, climbing inside and disappearing behind automatic doors. _He must be getting too tired for the stairs_ , thought the blond businessman.

"Ah, well, that's none of my concern. The only person I'm concerned with tonight…" the serial killer trailed off, reaching inside his blazer. "…is you." Kira gently lifted his girlfriend out of her pocket and set her down on the table, making sure the wound was safely on his folded-up handkerchief to prevent any telltale bloodstains on the tablecloth. He stopped for a moment to look down at the limb, his expression dropping. "Look, I'm sorry I couldn't treat you to the risotto too, but there's nothing I can do. Besides, I'm sure the sea bass is just as delicious. No matter how you look at it, we're bound to have a nice night, okay?" A moment later his admonishing look was replaced with a more tender smile. "That's more like it. Stop worrying, darling, this evening is going to be perfe-"

"Wow, this place is gorgeous!"

Kira froze. Tiny beads of sweat began to form on his face and palms as his eyes widened and teeth clenched. The shrill voice was horribly familiar to him. That high-pitched, ditzy tone could only belong to one person. His hands subconsciously gripped the table, a pink humanoid figure faintly flickering in and out of existence behind him. He didn't want to believe it. It couldn't possibly be true. Why here, why now?

Kira tried to calm himself, forcibly reigning in his Stand. He was overreacting, it couldn't possibly be who he thought it was. Luck had always sided with him, Yoshikage Kira, so there was no conceivable way that this could be happening right now, in this restaurant, at this specific time. Yes, that was right. He had to be mistaken! Voices weren't _that_ unique; thousands of people could share a similar tone, surely? Yet no matter how hard he tried, he wasn't reassured in the slightest. It was just too similar to leave it to chance. He had to know, and there was only one way to find out.

Reluctantly standing up from his seat, Kira crept over to the edge of his alcove and dared to peak around the corner. It was at that moment his worst fears were confirmed.

Before the door of the elevator, like a black stain on an otherwise spotless white sheet, was the lamia from earlier. She was dressed in significantly more formal attire, now wearing a long, white dress in place of the yellow shirt and blue skirt from earlier. It still covered barely any of the twenty feet of glimmering scales, of course, but the difference was nonetheless noticeable. Her fair skin had also changed, now decorated with blusher, eyeliner and a number of other cosmetics. Above that, her crimson hair was now done up in a waist-length ponytail. To top it all off, her fingernails were now painted an alluring shade of red which contrasted perfectly with pale, slender fingers that led up to beautifully unblemished knuckles…

He mentally slapped himself, ashamed of such thoughts. Now wasn't the time for that sort of thing. Maybe he'd kill her later and take take her hand, Exchange laws be damned, but he had to remain loyal. For a few more days, at least. Then his current girlfriend would probably start to smell, but that was besides the point.

A little more observation revealed an even greater terror than the snake: the government official. Unlike her charge, she had neglected to get properly dressed for the occasion in any obvious way. Instead of some elegant outfit, she was merely wearing the same black suit from before. Her hair was in the same simple style, her lazy posture was identical and even the black sunglasses were still on her face, shielding her eyes from curious onlookers. It was as if, despite her lax attitude, she was on careful lookout for trouble. The relaxed exterior hiding the unquestionably alert mind made a dangerous combination, one that Kira wanted to stay as far away from as possible.

"I'm glad you think so, ma'am! We spend a lot of time trying to make everything look perfect." replied a short waitress around the same age as the one who served him. "But I'm sure that you'll love the food even more. Shall I show you both to your tables? We received a message that you'd be coming tonight, so we moved some other reservations to other tables and got you the most suitable seats in the house!" her voice brimmed with pride.

"That would be great, thanks. Come on, Mia." the agent stepped around the younger woman's coiled tail and followed the waitress.

Straight towards his corner.

This was bad. They would be here in less than seven seconds, by his count. He hadn't foreseen this at all; when he booked the other two tables half an hour later, he'd just expected to have some regular diners sit there, finish eating and leave him in peace. But having his two ? Of all the restaurants in the city, they had to come here, sit in those seats of all places and ruin his meticulously-planned anniversary just because of some government bullshit? It was unbelievable. Worst of all was the dead hand on the table. If he didn't move quickly, he wouldn't be able to hide Naoko before he was exposed. They'd see her lying there, and his quiet life would come to an end. He had to act, and fast.

Kira darted back to his table and snatched the limb up, sitting down awkwardly and scrambling to look natural.

 _Two seconds._

Fingers fumbling for the pocket inside his blazer, he tried to stuff her inside it but in his haste ripped the entire pocket off. Looking down into the darkness, he could just about see the scrap of fabric hanging uselessly to the suit by a single intact thread.

 _Six seconds._

There was no time to think of another hiding place where she wouldn't be seen. They would appear in less than a second, and he was left with only one way out. He gave his girlfriend a last, regretful glance before activating Killer Queen's ability, turning the disembodied hand into ashes and the ashes into nothing just before the trio rounded the corner.

 _Seven seconds._ Kira finally exhaled. He was safe.

Not for much longer though, apparently. The very moment the lamia - Miia, he now remembered - slithered past the wall concealing him, her head turned in his direction and she met his gaze. Her eyes widened and Yoshikage steeled himself, fully aware that it was now over for him.

Evidently unable to resist, she nimbly manoeuvred around the furniture and pulled up beside him, far to close for comfort. Thankfully, she was at least a little more calm this time. Rather than frantic, the young woman before him seemed simply remorseful, a somewhat embarrassed expression on her face.

"U-Um, hello again, sir. You might not remember me, but we met earlier today in St. Lady's. I'm really sorry if I'm bothering you, but I never got the chance to apologise for what I did." her head dipped downwards in shame. "It's just that us lamias are bigger than humans and we need more space to even move around, so tiny aisles like that don't really work well for us…" her voice trailed off.

Her head suddenly snapped back up with resolve-filled eyes, making the blond man flinch. "But I want to do better in the future! I'm here representing my species, and I can't let a disaster like that go without an apology." She clasped her hands above her ample chest and bowed slightly, eyes closed. "I'm really sorry, sir. I hope you can forgive me for what I did to you."

Kira was taken aback. She seemed genuinely upset that she had caused him so much trouble. Most times, beautiful young women like this acted high and mighty, caring nothing for common decency and imposing on everyone around them, hence why Kira redeemed their souls by dating them. But this girl was somehow different. Despite her incredibly good looks, she was truly sincere in her apology. Kira knew all about fake emotion, and this wasn't it. This was real.

However, this train of thought was interrupted by the approach of the government agent, high heels clacking against the hardwood floor. Both he and Miia turned their heads at the sound.

"Now, Miia, don't you think you've already intruded on the poor man enough for one day?" she admonished the younger woman, though her voice was just as unconcerned as the first time he heard it "If you really want, you can talk during the meal. For now, let's just get seated, hmm?"

"Oh, you're right!" she said, turning back to the blond man. "Again, I'm really sorry for what happened, and I hope you can forgive me for it." She went to slither away, but seemed to remember something and looked back at him. "Oh, I almost forgot! This is Miss Smith," the suit nodded at the acknowledgement " and my name's Miia. What's yours?"

He briefly hesitated, never having been the type of person to give his name out. As far as he was concerned, the less people that knew him, the better. Oh well, it wasn't like he had much choice this time. He'd just have to deal with it.

"Yoshikage Kira, it's a pleasure to meet you. Don't worry about what happened, it was an accident. I wasn't hurt, so there's nothing to forgive." Kira said in the most believable voice he could muster, extending his hand outwards. Of course, he hadn't nearly forgiven her for almost ruining his quiet life he held so dear, but she hardly needed to know that.

The lamia's face lit up at his words, and she eagerly went to slither forward and accept his handshake. Just before she could reach it, though, the hand of the interspecies coordinator appeared on her shoulder and pulled her back.

"Come on, Miia, they're waiting to take our orders. Let's not keep them waiting any longer." She said, giving her charge a gentle pat on the shoulder before she nodded and took off, tail undulating behind her.

Miss Smith turned back to Kira, staring at him with hidden eyes. "Sorry about Miia, she's pretty new to human society. "Still, thanks for being so understanding. I just can't stand it when someone tries to trouble liminals, you know what I mean? Well, we'll just be over here." with that, she turned on her heel and walked away, her raven hair whipping round.

A single bead of cold sweat began to form on his cheek. Just now, there was something more to that woman's comment. It sounded laid back, but there was definitely a dangerous undertone in her voice. Did she suspect him already? Surely not, he was an expert in covering his tracks perfectly, and the only time he had been found out was because that fat little bastard Shigekiyo had a Stand too. He was sure that this woman was absolutely normal, so how could she know anything?

Then it hit him. Maybe she was suspicious of his sudden disappearance back at St. Lady's. He had vanished without a trace, after all, and she would notice more than most other people given her profession. Yes, that had to be it. If she really was already on his case, he would have to be extremely careful.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Kira was sitting through one of Miia's many long-winded stories, struggling to hide his boredom. Next to him was Miss Smith, forced to sit next to him on account of the ludicrous amount of space Miia's tail took up. His expensive champagne had arrived and was already a third empty thanks to Smith's relentless mooching. The waiters had seen them talking earlier and asked if they wanted the tables moving closer together. Miia, of course, enthusiastically agreed before Yoshikage could even say anything, while the irritating agent beside her just snickered at his misfortune into the back of her hand. He made a note to kill her at some point.

"And that's the completely true story of how me and Miss Smith first met!" finished the liminal girl, grinning mischievously so that her fangs peeked out from under her top lip.

Kira's eyes flicked up and met hers, torn away from his internal lamentation by the sudden absence of background noise. "That's quite an interesting story, Miia. Very exciting." he said halfheartedly, unable to summon the effort to give a further comment.

Beside him, Smith laughed into her hand in that infuriating way that seemed so natural on her. "Well, she's not kidding when she says 'completely true'. I mean, you could have been a little more subtle, Miia." she reached across the table and picked up a glass of _his_ champagne, drinking deeply and finishing it off. "You didn't have to tell Yoshikage here the part where the I used tranquiliser darts on half your tribe. Why, I feel absolutely scandalised!"

Miia giggled, nearly dropping her own glass by accident. "Sorry, Miss Smith, but it was too good of a story to pass up! Besides, Mr. Kira was nice enough to let us share his champagne, so it's only fair that we pay him back somehow. Right, Mr. Kira?"

"Absolutely." Yoshikage replied dully, not really listening and then instantly realising his mistake. The boredom in his voice somewhat showed through when he spoke, giving away his emotions. Fortunately Miia missed it, apparently not noticing. The coordinator beside him, though? Not a chance. From the corner of his eye, Kira saw Smith shoot him a sadistic grin that made his heart drop.

"You know what? I think you might just be right. Well, if you want a _really_ good story," said the coordinator, her voice taking on a mischievous edge, "then why not tell him about the time you first met the M.O.N. squad?"

Miia gasped, eyes lighting up. "Oh, that's a great one! It's really long, too, so it'll keep us going at least until our food arrives! Doesn't that sound fun, Mr. Kira?"

Kira barely suppressed a groan. Why was he of all people stuck with these two demons? He wasn't even twenty minutes in and he could already tell that his evening would only get worse.

 **-To be continued in chapter 4: Dinner for Two (Part 2)-**

* * *

 **Hi, everyone. Sorry I haven't uploaded in so long. I've had a lot of work to do, and I altered parts of this chapter pretty frequently. I was aiming for a weekly upload sort of thing, but I might just do it monthly instead (could also be finished with the chapter sooner than that, so take it as you will).**

 **I was going to publish this and the next chapter as one big thing, but this fit the chapter size better, plus the events of the next chapter are probably better off as their own thing.**

 **see you mad lads in like a month i guess**

 **P.S. VENTO AUREO CONFIRMED BOYS, HA HA TIME FOR NARANCIA part 6 never**


	4. Dinner For Two (Part 2)

**Hi, everyone. Not much to say this time. If you have any questions, ideas or criticisms, don't hesitate to say so in a review. I need to get as good as possible.**

 **Here's chapter 4.**

* * *

It had been almost half an hour since Kira had, albeit reluctantly, joined tables with Miia and Smith, and he was seriously starting to feel the effects. Ten minutes had passed since their starters had arrived and promptly been demolished, and he had sat through no less than three of the excitable snake girl's tales, all of which involved obscene amounts of backtracking and explaining the context of different things. At this point, the story had long been less of a coherent narrative and more a knotted jumble of facts, twisted into a complicated mess that was impossible to make heads or tails of. Even worse was the fact that the champagne apparently amplified this. Miia, it seemed, did not have a high alcohol tolerance.

"…and then all three of them fell over unconscious!" Miia exclaimed mirthfully, empty glass in hand and cheeks slightly flushed. "Later, I found out that mama actually snuck some neurotoxin into their tea!"

Kira forced himself to give a laugh. Honestly, he didn't care a single bit about this story or any other. All he wanted right now was to be alone with his girlfriend, and now he couldn't even do that thanks to these two forcing him to blow her up.

The bottle of champagne had regrettably been emptied thanks to the pressure of two other people drinking from it, so now they were forced to purchase something more affordable. Currently in their glasses was a red wine less expensive than the champagne yet still quite delicious, its sharp taste being one Kira was thoroughly pleased with. Unfortunately, by the way the two women at his table were drinking, its lifespan too seemed limited.

Beside him, Smith took another small sip of her drink. Unlike her inebriated charge, the government agent had been oddly silent, only speaking up occasionally and in short sentences. Kira also noticed that instead of drinking deeply, she took small sips in an attempt to make it last longer. However, Kira knew that in reality she was making sure that she stayed sober enough to watch him closely. Just as he predicted, Smith wasn't nearly as careless as her carefree exterior suggested. Everything that Smith did was calculated in some manner, from the amount of wine passing her lips to the comments she made. With that level of attention to detail plus the fact that he was sure she didn't trust him, he could be in real danger. He would have to watch himself around her.

"You lamias really don't like following the Exchange's rules, do you?" Smith said, a sly grin on her face. "I thought that stealing a communal husband was already banned at that time. And drugging three exchange officials? Some very interesting things are coming to light this evening! Your mother certainly is her own woman, Miia."

Finally seeming to realise that she had just admitted to watching her mother poison government agents in front of another one of their number, the jubilant snake girl's smile quickly disappeared. "U-uh… Miss Smith? You won't tell anyone about that… right? I-I mean, the agents all lost their memory afterwards and nobody was hurt, plus everyone in the village agreed to stop kidnapping males!"

For a long while Smith said nothing, merely swirling the wine in her glass. Eventually she looked up at the young woman across from her, the slightest hint of a playful expression on her face. "Well, if nobody really did get hurt, and you returned the poor man right afterwards, then I _suppose_ I can keep it a secret. I'm still gonna have to send someone to check if there are any captive men in your village, though."

Miia's expression immediately switched to one of intense relief. "Oh, thanks so much. I was afraid that you were going to arrest mama!"

"Well, I did think about it…" Smith said, taking yet another tiny sip, "…but then you wouldn't be able to tell us another one of your stories. Right, Yoshikage?"

Kira visibly paled. Oh, no. He would _not_ sit through another story. He refused to endure any more torture. He needed a way out of this hell, right now.

Kira summoned just the right arm of Killer Queen. The ghostly limb, invisible to the two non-Stand users, floated over to the wine bottle and waited for an opportunity to arrive from across the table. The Stand's eyes manifested themselves just behind their user, glowing red like a pair of malicious beacons, and watched the young lamia closely, waiting for its chance to present itself. And present itself it did.

The moment Miia went to grab her glass again, Killer Queen engaged. Just before she wrapped her hand around the glass, the Stand nudged it slightly, causing it to topple over. A river of crimson spilled from the mouth of the wine glass, dying the white tablecloth a deep red colour. Even worse, though, the scarlet tide continued across the table and over the edge, splashing all over Kira's shirt and lap. Its job done to satisfaction, the catlike Stand faded out of existence once more.

Miia, on the other hand, was absolutely horrified. Her face was the picture of distress, mouth open wide and snakelike pupils narrowed to tiny slits in shock.

"GAH! MR KIRA, I'M SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO, I SWEAR!" the distraught lamia cried with eyes beginning to form tears, attracting the attention of more than a few other diners. Kira grimaced. He didn't like getting brought into the limelight so much, but he'd have to lose this battle to win the war.

He put his hands up and faked a laugh, trying to ignore the fact that his favourite suit was now drenched in wine. "Miia, it's fine. I'll just go to the bathroom and clean myself up. Excuse me." He nodded to the two of them and stood up, using his napkin to dry up what he could as he walked towards the men's restroom.

* * *

A short while later, Kira was dabbing himself with tissue in front of a mirror. He had cleaned up most of the wine on his, and figured that the suit and trousers could be salvaged thanks to their dark colour. The shirt, however, was ruined, with a dark streak running down its bottom half. He would have to get rid of the tie, too. His eyes narrowed in frustration. Everything he was wearing had cost him a great deal, and he adored each piece of the outfit.

' _That damned woman…'_ Kira growled to himself in his mind. ' _If it weren't for her and that coordinator, I wouldn't have been forced to ruin a perfectly good set of clothes.'_ He reached to grab another bundle of tissue from the adjacent toilet stall, rather violently tearing it from the roll.

It was unfortunate that this was the only way out. If the wine had spilled on Smith, then Miia would have continued boring him to an early grave with another one of her tales. If he had used it on Miia, then he would have been stuck alone with Smith. One defeated the point and the other was downright hazardous, so there was really only one escape route to take. Oh, well. At least he'd escaped their company even if only for a short while.

As the tissue in his hand soaked up the last few still-wet patches of alcohol, Yoshikage began to reflect on his time here for the first time in a long while. It had been three hundred and sixty five days since he'd arrived here, give or take a few hours, and in that time nothing bad had happened to him. It was almost unbelievable, even now. One second he was fighting for his life against the Joestar family and then getting dragged through a fissure is reality. The next, he had completely escaped any consequences, free again to live his quiet life the way he dreamed of. It was the perfect getaway that Kira never even imagined was possible. Yet, it wasn't to last. Today, on the most significant day since his entrance into this world, he met the two most annoying individuals he had yet discovered here. The serpent-woman had now almost ruined his peaceful existence twice while her pushy coordinator seemed to thrive on poking and prodding him so she could watch him squirm. The entire operation Kira had going had been put in serious jeopardy within the space of twenty four hours.

That's the way it started back in Morioh, too. For a while, everything had seemed perfect. His nails had grown immensely over a short space of time, and he was killing more frequently than he had in years. Better yet, his control over Killer Queen had recently become significantly more fine-tuned, with the serial killer feeling more connected with his Stand than ever before. Everything seemed to be going well for Yoshikage Kira. Of course, that all ended when that moronic Shigekiyo accidentally discovered him, at which point it all went down faster than a lead dirigible.

Yes, the similarities were incredibly concerning to the blond businessman. Life started off with an incredible high, then kicked his legs out from under him with a merciless barrage of low blows. It was almost as if history was repeating itself in some sort of sick practical joke to which he was the punchline. Kira's grip tightened with resolve, to the point where his rapidly-growing nails threatened to draw blood from his palm even through the tissue. No. Not this time. He'd already had everything he'd built up collapse down in front of him like a house of cards in a gale once before. It would not, under any circumstances, happen again.

His gaze was drawn to the watch on his wrist, upon which his expression soured. Damn, it had already been ten minutes since he left. Any longer and his unwanted companions might start getting the wrong idea (which wasn't really wrong, to be honest, he just didn't want them to know). Sighing dejectedly, Kira threw the last of the wine-covered tissues down the toilet and flushed. His hand subconsciously reached up into his blazer pocket for the comforting touch of his girlfriend's hand, but he was sorely reminded of her second passing. How depressing; Naoko had such a rare type of hand structure, and he would never again be able to kiss up and down the length of her slender fingers, never again be able to press his palm against hers and savour the soft sensation of her skin, never again be able to treat her to beautiful rings-

…

The ring.

The ring!

He forgot the ring!

In less than a second, Yoshikage's mood shifted from simply irked to absolutely horrified. He was so preoccupied with looking natural in front of Smith and Miia that he forgot to retrieve the ring when he atomised his girlfriend. In the heat of the moment, he must have forgotten to retrieve it from the floor where it probably dropped. That ring had Naoko's full name engraved onto it by Kira himself.

Bullets of sweat began to form on Kira's skin. That ring had Naoko's full name engraved onto it by Kira himself. If he didn't get it back soon, then somebody would surely end up taking it. If that happened, then the police might get their hands on it. They would see the name of a woman missing for weeks, then they'd take Kira's fingerprints from it and track him down. He would be convicted, and he'd go to jail to rot.

In short, if he didn't retrieve that ring, his quiet life was as good as destroyed.

"How terrible…" the killer muttered under his breath as he hurriedly exited the bathroom, automatic door sliding open for him. There was no time to waste.

* * *

"Oh, Mr Kira's back!" came a gleeful call from the direction of his table. Miia waved over to him, one hand high in the air and the other wrapped around her glass. It was empty again, unsurprisingly, and the young woman's face was significantly more flushed than when he left. From the looks of things, the wine level was a fair bit lower than how he left it. Next to Miia, Smith was sat in her chair talking away into a smartphone. When she noticed his approach she seemed oddly eager to hang up, quickly stuffing the phone back into her pocket. The blond's eyes narrowed every so slightly at the suspicious act, but he decided to let it go for now. By the time he was at the table, he was wearing a perfect plastic smile.

"I'm sorry about leaving so suddenly, you two." Kira said, dipping his head in a small bow for added effect. "I wanted to save as much of the suit as I could,

Smith waved him off jovially. "Oh, it's fine, Yoshikage! You leaving didn't affect us in the least!"

Kira's smile became unnoticeably strained at the interspecies coordinator's comment. ' _Oh, an insult thinly veiled as a compliment. How creative.'_ he thought to himself as he took his seat.

After that, the minutes passed by without issue. The three of them sat together and exchanged small talk. Of course, each member of the group engaged in their own way. Miia was predictably lively thanks to the alcohol in her system, Kira continued to fake interest and Smith merely sat back and listened to her charge's stories. It was a while before Miia finally stopped going off on tangents to her stories and turned to Yoshikage, who was currently looking for a waiter to replace the (unsurprisingly) empty wine bottle.

"Um, Mr Kira?" Miia asked tentatively. The blond looked over to her at the mention of his name, his blue eyes meeting her amber ones. "I'm sorry about your suit. I didn't mean to ruin it."

' _You're nowhere near sorry yet, you degenerate.'_

"Honestly, Miia, don't worry yourself." Kira lied through his teeth, successfully managing to keep that stinging comment to himself. The ditsy girl wasn't forgiven in the least, but he would just have to keep that fact a secret. He'd satisfy his urge for revenge at a later date. "Accidents happen, right?"

Smith was quick to speak up after that. "See, Miia? I told you to stop worrying. Yoshikage's a gentle soul, he wouldn't dream of holding it against you!" she said with her signature smug grin.

While the two women continued to speak, Kira was putting his Stand to work. Killer Queen was darting around within its master's range, catlike eyes scanning each nook and cranny of the dining area. However, try as it might, the ring with Naoko's name engraved on it was nowhere to be found. It had used its incredible precision to double and triple-check every possible crevice, including the women's pockets, but even its best efforts yielded no results whatsoever. At this point, Kira was beginning to get nervous. Where was it? It couldn't have gone anywhere.

The salaryman's thought process suddenly halted as he considered his circumstances once more. Following an incredible high, his life had suddenly taken a turn for the worse, just like Morioh. The event at St Lady's, Miia and Smith turning up out of the blue, the agent's obvious suspicion, the missing ring? They all added up in the worst possible way. Morioh was repeating itself. Right now, two of the three conditions had been met. Only one factor of his previous defeat remained to reveal itself, and only that could offer an explanation. The pieces of the puzzle slowly but surely assembled themselves within the depths of Kira's mind, spelling out one foreboding question.

Could this be the work of an enemy Stand?

The more he considered it, the more likely it seemed. How else would a tiny object disappear without a trace? His Stand had made sure that neither woman had it, and they would surely have told him if a waiter took it away, Miia at the very least. What was it that his father had told him? Stand users attract Stand users?

Kira clenched his jaw. No, there had to be a Stand user somewhere in this building that stole his ring. Why would they steal a ring in the first place? Was this just random chance, or was he being actively hunted? He was sure that he had covered his tracks perfectly. Could the Stand have some sort of locating ability that found him? These questions and a dozen more flashed through his mind at breakneck pace, each one answered leaving only more behind.

"Uh, excuse me, sir?"

Kira was forcefully ripped away from his train of thought by the voice of the young, brown-haired waiter that first showed him to his seat. In his hand was a tray carrying another bottle of red wine and three steaming plates of food. The scents of each individual meal all intermingled wonderfully, creating a single gorgeous fragrance too complex for words.

The intoxicating aroma drifted through the air and infiltrated all three of their noses, kicking their salivary glands into overdrive. Kira's expression quickly changed, his worry almost instantly dispersed by the wonderful smell. Miia was visibly trying to hold herself back from diving in before the plate was set down, and even Smith's mask of detached interest temporarily shattered to reveal the undeniable hunger underneath. The waiter went about setting the meals down one by one in front of the person that ordered them, revealing a trio of culinary masterpieces just begging to be tasted.

In front of Kira was a grilled sea bass fillet covered in a lemon dill sauce and garnished with a selection of colourful herbs. The charred and crunchy skin formed a tantalising contrast with the soft, pale flesh underneath as is soaked in the creamy sea of the sauce, absorbing every bit of flavour and moisture that it could.

Across the table, Miia was staring at a plate consisting of a massive omelette with a side of devilled eggs as if it was her one true love. Though certainly not as lavishly decorated as his own, the meal certainly still looked divine. Its airy fluffiness was apparent even from where Kira was sitting, and it was already apparent that the devilled eggs were hand-crafted to give them a perfectly smooth texture.

Finally, Smith's meal was set down. She had ordered a sirloin steak, cooked rare, with mixed vegetables and peppercorn sauce. The slab of meat was seared to perfection, about three quarters of it still deep red and dripping with blood. The juices dripped down and intermingled with the peppercorn, which in turn blanketed the asparagus, potatoes and other vegetables with rich, creamy goodness.

The three of them eagerly picked up their cutlery, impatient to begin the feast. Apparently finding their passion for the food endearing, the young man serving them chuckled to himself, drawing their attention.

"I truly hope that you all enjoy your meals." the waiter smiled as he refilled their glasses, a professional dose of enthusiasm evident in his voice. "As always, please don't hesitate to call me or any of the other waiters over." With that, he inclined his head towards them and then turned on his heel, walking back towards the stairs. For a reason he couldn't place, before turning his attention back towards his food, Kira watched him go for a moment. A moment was all it took.

In that split-second that Kira's eyes were on him, something in the young waiter's back pocket briefly glimmered in the warm candlelight like a gemstone. Kira caught it instantly, and summoned Killer Queen for a closer look. The feline Stand's eyes zoomed in on the offending pocket and, with their incredible position, revealed something utterly shocking. Whatever it was didn't glimmer _like_ a gemstone, it _was_ a gemstone. Specifically, one of the gemstones from the missing ring. The fact that he had the piece of jewellery on him could only mean one thing.

That waiter was the Stand user.

All at once the foreboding thoughts returned to the front of Yoshikage's mind as if a floodgate had been opened. The delicious meal before him was forgotten as he quickly began formulating plans and counter-measures to retrieve his ring. There were too many questions. What was his Stand's ability? Did he know about Killer Queen? Was it strong enough to be useful in combat, or merely restricted to sneak attacks and other underhanded tactics? How and where could he kill the user without anybody noticing? They were all vital questions, and Kira didn't have an answer to a single one of them.

Despite his best efforts, he began to grind his teeth and clench his fists beneath the table. It was no use. He had no idea of what the waiter's Stand could do, or any of the other vital pieces of information needed to make his plan of action. Quietly exhaling through his nose, Kira's muscles relaxed themselves as he accepted temporary defeat. He'd just have to sit and eat his meal until an opportunity presented itself.

"Thanks for the food!" Miia exclaimed, hands clasped together in a prayer-like fashion. Kira would have found it comical to see a Japanese custom in the middle of an Italian restaurant, were it not for the fact that his life was currently in serious danger.

Smith, unsurprisingly, showed no such manners. The lazy coordinator merely reached over for her utensils and unceremoniously carved a large chunk from the steak - knife and fork in the incorrect hands, no less - and popped it in her mouth.

Oh, well. There was nothing else for it. Enemy Stand user or not, this was still the anniversary of his victory against Josuke and the rest. Until the time came to act, he could still enjoy the night and his meal. After all, he'd earned that much at least. Taking his fork in his left hand and his knife in his right, he cut a sauce-covered slice from the tender piece of fish and took his first bite.

* * *

For the better part of an hour, the trio sat and ate without incident. It was more than pleasant, each sip of wine savoured and each glorious forkful drawn out to extract as much flavour as possible. What's more, Miia stopped telling endless stories in favour of taking more bites, which just added to the magic.

Looking down at his plate, Kira downheartedly noted that he was almost finished with his meal. Maybe three more mouthfuls of the once-large portion of fish remained, and they wouldn't last much longer. He momentarily considered ordering one of the restaurant's many desserts, but decided against it in the end. After all, there would be too many downsides. For one, he would have to endure even more long-winded tales from his half-snake table-mate, and that wasn't even touching on the presence of a potentially dangerous Stand user.

The blond man's eyes darkened as he stared into the distance. The Stand user. He hadn't appeared at the table since delivering their meals, only being seen flitting between the tables on the far side of the room. He found this somewhat suspicious and briefly suspected a trap, though that was unlikely considering that the user would draw far too much attention to himself if a diner were to die.

Suddenly, the youth in question appeared from behind a corner. Now that he was a threat, Kira had taken in far more detail about him than he originally had. His neatly combed hair was a muddy brown colour, easily mistakable for black were it not for the ample lighting, as were his eyes. In terms of facial structure, he was neither particularly attractive nor unpleasant, landing somewhere in the merely plain region. His uniform, like all the others of his ilk, was a crisp white shirt contrasting with a black bow tie, shoes, trousers and waistcoat. All in all, he was what could be described as, much like his neighbour Kimihito, completely and utterly average. It would have been hard to believe he was such a threat, were Kira himself not of the exact same breed.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yoshikage watched the waiter go about his business. Unlike the other times, he did not immediately make a beeline for one of the tables. Instead, he leisurely walked over to the small desk at the mouth of the staircase, took a laminated card out of his waistcoat pocket and scanned it on a small machine. He then put the cad back in his pocket and walked down the stairs, disappearing as the ornate doors swung to a close.

Kira realised with a start that he was leaving for the night. No, he couldn't let that happen! If he escaped, then who knows where the ring would end up? Sure, it was probably unlikely that the ring would find itself in the hands of the law, but there was a probability nonetheless. He couldn't allow that.

"Excuse me for a moment, you two. I'll be right back." he said, barely giving the two of them a quick nod before he turned and made straight for the stairs.

"Oh? Where are you off to, Yoshikage?" questioned Smith. Kira growled internally at the object of his delay. Of course she'd get in his way. Fortunately for him, Miia was on her coordinator's case in an instant.

"Miss Smith! It's really rude to ask someone where they're going when they excuse themselves from the dinner table! They could be… you know…" she trailed off, obviously wanting to avoid such a taboo subject.

For the first time since Kira met her, Smith became flustered. Her cheeks became a slight bit red as she began to trip over her words. "O-Oh, right! Sorry, Yoshikage. You go on ahead."

However, Kira was already walking towards the staircase again. He could barely suppress his smug grin. It was impossible to believe, but that dim-witted lamia had actually saved him and even made that insufferable suit red with embarrassment in the process. It almost made him not want to strangle her, and under normal circumstances he would have taken a moment to revel in his victory. But right now, he had a thief to catch.

* * *

Kira peeked around a corner as his target walked through the employee car park at the back of the building. After catching up to him to the point where he was within line of sight, Kira had silently shadowed the waiter as he exited the restaurant. Now, the two of them were outside in the cold night air. It had become dark out, and the time had already passed 10. The moon, fat and round, was shining brightly alongside the stars, painting the inky cosmos above with specks of pure light. It was that same light that illuminated the waiter unlocking a car, taking the ring out of his pocket, along with some other pieces of likely ill-gotten jewellery, and putting them in a small plain bag. He then put the bag back inside, shut and locked the car door and walked into a brick structure that looked as if it had been glued on to the back on the main building as a second thought.

With the coast clear, Kira made his move. The killer summoned his honed stealthiness and moved silently across the gravel, the soft pat of his shoes on loose chunks barely even audible. Eyes glued on the building the entire in case his target came back out, he eventually made it to the car and ducked behind it. Now that he was up close, Kira noticed that the car was unusually old. The model was probably around a decade old, and the weathering effect of time was evident despite the obvious care and upkeep the vehicle received. More importantly, though, this meant that the lock on the car was far more primitive than the standard fare of modern society. The killer-turned-thief grinned to himself. Perfect.

A pink aura enveloping him as he drew out his Stand once again, Kira directed Killer Queen towards the driver side door. Its extended finger, now intangible, phased through the medal of the door and brushed against the locking mechanism. One _click_ and a small explosion later, and the door was wide open.

Kira didn't hesitate. Killer Queen's hand searched around the pitch black interior until the rough texture of seat leather was replaced by that of soft fabric. More careful touching revealed the presence of multiple hard objects inside, confirming that thins was indeed the bag of jewellery he was looking for. The catlike Stand pulled the bag from the car and brought it out, dropping it delicately in Kira's waiting hands.

Yoshikage, so close to his goal, rooted around in the bag until his hand closed around something circular and encrusted with many stones. Yes, this shape and feeling was unmistakeable after the amount of time Kira had spent caressing it. He had finally found his ring.

Eager to escape from the scene, the killer went to remove his hand from the bag when he abruptly halted, feeling something strange. Although he didn't know how or why, his hand felt the tiniest bit heavier that when he had put it inside. It wasn't the extra weight of the ring either; his entire hand felt like it had slightly more weight to it, almost as if someone had attached tiny weights across the length of his fingers and palm. Kira slowly dragged his hand out of the bag, still enclosed around his ring, and raised it up to the pale moonlight for illumination. What he saw confirmed his worst fear.

Pyramids. Tiny triangular pyramids, six in total, were stuck onto his fingers, palm and the back of his hand. They were yellow in colour, and one side was probably about a centimetre long. The worst part, though, was that they weren't merely objects. They had a unique aspect to them, an almost ghostly, otherworldly feeling. It was the feeling of a Stand.

"You know, I thought I was being tailed. This just confirms my suspicions…"

Kira sprung up from the ground like a coiled wire, wheeling around to face the source of the voice. Sure enough, stood about 10 metres away was the waiter. Though he wore the same uniform, it was as if he was a different person. Gone was the polite and jovial demeanour of the perfect waiter, replaced with a heavy, emotionless atmosphere. It was most obvious in his eyes, manifesting as a dark determination so strong that Kira could have sworn his pupils burned with intense flames which somehow emitted a frigid, dangerous emptiness. He knew it well, for it was the cold stare of a killer.

Before Kira could respond, the boy in front of him began to glow with an otherworldly aura. Bright yellow light began to flare up and swirl around him, as if he was stood in the middle of a raging inferno yet completely unharmed. A single bead of sweat rolling down his cheek, Kira steeled himself for a fight as his opponent wreathed himself in the ethereal energy of Stands.

"…doesn't it, _sir?_ "

 **-To be continued in chapter 5: Dinner For Two (Part 3)-**


	5. Dinner For Two (Part 3)

**Hi, everybody. I just want to say one thing, and that is thank you! As of the time of writing, Quiet Life with Monster Girls has reached 44 favourites, 63 follows and over 3,000 views! I never expected my story to get so much attention.**

 **Here's chapter 5.**

* * *

The two men were stood in the middle of the car park Mexican standoff-style, illuminated only by the light of the moon and stars. They stared into each other's eyes, neither one daring to blink lest the other used the opportunity to move in for the kill. With eerie silence permeating the air save for the quiet whistle of the breeze, it was almost as if the entire world had frozen to observe this clash of killers.

Despite the stillness of the surrounding world, Kira's mind was racing at a million miles per minute. He had been discovered stealing, and by the enemy Stand user no less. Even worse, he had already fallen under the effects of the Stand's ability. What _was_ its ability? As of right now, the tiny pyramids adhered to his hand could barely be classed as a minor inconvenience, much less an attack. If the waiter was stood in front of him so calm and self-assured, then this wasn't the limit of his Stand. There had to be something more, and Kira hadn't the slightest idea what it was.

"You have a short range, right?" Kira was pulled from his strategising by the even voice of the waiter, laced with confidence. Looking up, he saw that the young man had moved away by around five more metres. Interesting.

"I'm talking about your Stand. It's got a short range, hasn't it? Maybe a couple of metres at most, I'd say. Otherwise, you would have just sent it over here on its own instead of putting yourself at risk by coming along with it." he clarified, a small smile upon his face at his deduction.

Kira gritted his teeth, not gracing the young man with a reply. This guy was sharp. It hadn't even been a minute and he'd already figured out one of his Stand's secrets. He'd have to be doubly careful with how he fought from now on.

But Kira could play that game, too. The blond serial killer looked up at his opponent with a self-assured grin of his own. "I could say the same kind of thing about you." his own grin widened slightly as his opponent's expression dropped. "Just now, you moved away from me. That combined with the low physical strength must mean that your Stand is a long-range type with poor direct fighting capabilities. You can't go pointing out the flaws of others while you make the same mistakes. Hypocrisy is bad, you know?"

For a moment, the waiter stood silently with a blank look upon his face. However, after a moment, he began to chuckle. Before long it had exploded into a full-blown laugh, the younger Stand user wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"You know what? You're absolutely right! I need to be more careful on the future!" he shouted to his enemy with elation. It was almost as if he was happy that he was bested in such a way. "But you should take your own advice, _sir_. You talk about making mistakes, but you're not even paying attention to the world around you…"

Confused, Yoshikage quickly tried to figure out what that last comment meant. Not paying attention? What did he mean?

Kira paused. Wait. What was that? All of a sudden, his ears began to pick something up. It was like a faint drone from all directions, as if someone was revving a car engine but from a mile away. However, the volume steadily but surely increased, and with the volume came clarity. It no longer sounded like a car engine, but some sort of insect. Yet it somehow wasn't natural, and seemed to have some sort of metallic quality. Whatever it was, it was getting closer.

Kira strained his ears while his panic mounted in a desperate attempt to locate the sound's origin. The noise echoed around him, creating a cacophony that pelted his ears from all directions. Where was it coming from? He couldn't tell-

-It was right behind him.

Kira spun around on the spot, and Killer Queen reacted instantly. Fiercely defending its user, the feline stand manifested its arms and sent a barrage of punches out in front of Kira. Its gauntlet-covered fists made contact with multiple tiny yellow blurs, all of which were instantly destroyed on contact. His spirits rose; he was right, this Stand ability wasn't so great after all.

That is, until he noticed Killer Queen's arms. His stand's black gloves were completely enveloped in more of the tiny yellow pyramids that were stuck on his right hand. There were so many that he could barely see the emblem on Killer Queen's hand past the jagged, yellow sea.

Kira's eyes bugged out at the sight, the killer now sweating bullets. His Stand, fully understanding the gravity of the situation, desperately started trying to wipe them off, but to no avail. The yellow pyramids were simply stuck too strongly even for Killer Queen's immense strength, and wouldn't be coming off any time soon. From behind him came the chuckling of the waiter, evidently amused at the fruitlessness of his efforts. Looking back over his shoulder, Kira saw that the yellow aura surrounding him had amplified, now having grown from a mere glow into a swirling tempest of supernatural golden energy. The young Stand user had finally brought out his Stand.

Surrounding his enemy was a cloud of what appeared to be small, yellow insects akin to bees or wasps. Every single one was made up of the triangular pyramids that now covered his and his Stand's hands. They were arranged like building blocks, forming a vague body-like shape reminiscent of the octahedral molecules he had learned about as a child in school, with four making up the main body and two acting as either a head or tail. From the bottoms of their bodies sprouted spindly leg, which looked barely strong enough to pick up a pebble without snapping. Their wings were shaped like simple lightning bolts, barely discernible as they buzzed at incredible speeds. In all honesty, they looked sort of pathetic.

However, tiny and weak-looking though they were, they made up for their major lack of quality with sheer quantity. Kira couldn't begin to count them, the swarm utterly innumerable in size. Even as tightly packed as they were, he would have said that the swarm reached around two metres in diameter. There must have been hundreds of them.

"What did I tell you? You're not paying attention, _sir_." the waiter laughed, his hands now splayed out at hip-level as he struck a menacing pose. Judging by the sadistic laughter and the constant emphasis on the word 'sir', he was clearly having fun with this. "It's kind of funny, actually. You talk about strategies and not being a hypocrite, yet here you are ensnared in my trap like some dim-witted fly that landed itself right in the middle of a spider's web. That hubris of yours let me distract you, and now you've fallen prey to me, Vino, and my Stand, Take On Me!"

With that, he pointed his finger at Yoshikage and sent the swarm of tiny Stands rocketing towards him. The sheer noise was incredible; if Kira thought that the Stand was loud in a small group of maybe ten, then he hadn't experienced anything yet. The rapid beating of hundreds of pairs of minute, lightning-shaped wings was deafening, making the killer's head ring in so much pain that he wanted to stick his fingers in his ears and curl up on the ground. But he couldn't lose here, he couldn't afford to, he wouldn't. Summoning every ounce of willpower he could, Kira moved Killer Queen in front him where it hovered defensively with raised fists.

"Wh… are you stupid?" the enemy Stand user questioned incredulously, his voice somehow penetrating through the raucous buzzing. "You touched just a few of them and got covered in my pyramids! Are you seriously enough of an imbecile to think punching every single one is going to work?!"

"No, of course I don't." Kira replied through gritted teeth. He couldn't even hear himself, but he knew full well what he was about to say. "That's why that isn't my plan."

As soon as those words left his lips, Killer Queen's right arm darted over to the car and ripped the door right off of its hinges. It then whipped the broken door up in front of it and its master and braced, and not a moment too soon either. Less than a second after the makeshift shield was erected, the insectoid Stand's many bodies began to thunder against the glass and metal like a hail of bullets.

As he listened to the jarring cacophony, Kira allowed himself a brief moment of respite. Thank goodness he had been right. When he used the door as a shield, he did it not knowing whether the waiter's Stand would merely phase through it or not. However, he figured that if the Stand was anything like that intrusive Shigekiyo's Harvest or his own Sheer Heart Attack then its multiple bodies wouldn't have the individual intelligence required to make complex decisions like enabling intangibility or moving around the shield, limited only to blindly pursuing a single target head-on. Thankfully, his hunch was correct.

It also gave him some time to think. So, Vino was his name and Take On Me was his Stand, then? And it was a long-distance Stand with low power that attacked by sticking pyramids to Vino's enemies? Yoshikage could use that knowledge. It obviously relied on its speed and strength in numbers to overwhelm enemies, judging by these tactics, and was incapable of causing much harm over a short period of time. Whatever it was, Take On Me's ability hadn't yet activated yet, meaning it must have some sort of warm-up period. As a result, Kira had at least some time to act. If he could just use Killer Queen's speed to cut through the swarm before the mystery power took effect, then it would be trivial to charge right at his enemy and overpower him. Yes, that would work for certain. Kira resolved to, as soon as the bombardment finished, make a beeline straight for Vino, plunge a fist through his chest and end this entire mess right there.

All of a sudden, the noise came to a halt. When he looked up, Kira saw that the entire window was absolutely caked in the yellow pyramids of Vino's Stand to the point where it was now physically impossible to see anything through it. Compromising, he instead took a cautious peek around the side of the door, where he saw his enemy preparing to unleash a second barrage.

At least he would have if Vino was still standing there, which he most certainly was not.

Kira immediately realised that he had been deceived. While his Stand had pelted the car door, Vino himself had used the distraction to himself scarce, likely so that he could hide away and wait in safety until the yet-unknown power of Take On Me took effect. He couldn't wait around for that to happen. Commanding Killer Queen to drop the door, he began to formulate a plan to find him.

However, something strange happened to the door when it touched the ground. It didn't just make a thud against the ground like he expected, it did something entirely different. It _shattered_. The moment the outer metal of the door hit the ground, it smashed into hundreds of pieces as if he had just dropped ceramic on concrete.

Suffice to say, the killer was absolutely bewildered. How in the world was that possible? Metal shouldn't be that brittle. Just a moment ago it had been just as flexible as such a material should have been, but now it was as fragile as porcelain. It didn't make sense. Was this Vino's ability? Taking the risk, he reached out and ran a finger across a shard, then immediately recoiled in shock. The metal was freezing.

All the pieces of the puzzle began to assemble themselves in Kira's head. The door becoming and shattering was because of Vino's Stand. It all made sense now. Vino's ability was to use those pyramids to make things colder! When the insects flew into something they broke into those pyramids, and all the heat got sucked out of the object they stuck to! He had discovered the secret of Take On Me! Yoshikage was absolutely elated, a few chuckles escaping his throat. Now that he knew the secret behind Vino's ability, he could properly form a plan to kill him and put this entire night behind him. He could almost taste his victory.

Despite that, something was nagging at the back of his mind. Kira stopped and realised that if those pyramids made things they stuck to cold, and Kira had six of them on his right hand, not to mention far more on both hands of Killer Queen, then that meant…

Kira's left hand shot back and grabbed the one covered in pyramids. Just as he feared, it felt as if it had been dipped in icy water. Especially cold were the areas around the areas around the pyramids themselves, so much so that Kira could barely move or feel his fingers. Worst of all, he was certain that he could feel it getting even colder as time went on. Too much longer, and his hand would probably drop off. His teeth ground together as he grimaced, fully comprehending Vino's plan for the first time. Vino's plan wasn't to wait until Yoshikage had frozen so solid that he shattered; it was to merely disable him and his Stand's extremities so he could safely move in for the kill himself.

He had to get out of the open. Thinking fast, Yoshikage dove into the car through the gaping hole his Stand had left, his head almost knocking into a comically large pair of fuzzy dice hanging from the rear-view mirror. As soon as he was inside, Killer Queen picked the half-frozen door up from the ground and pulled it back, holding it in place as a makeshift seal and completing his defence. Finally in a defensible position, Kira exhaled all the air that had been trapped in his lungs, a wave of relief flooding his body. For now, he was safe.

Now came the time for strategising. As his head continued to swivel around like a periscope, making sure he wouldn't be ambushed from any direction, he began to go over what he knew once more. First of all, Vino's Stand, Take On Me, was a swarm-type Stand. As a result, it had great range but low power and intelligence. As for its ability, it could slowly freeze objects that its many bodies suicide-bombed, the time taken apparently decreasing as more and more pyramids were added. A single touch was enough to activate the ability, which unfortunately meant that carving a path through the swarm wasn't an option. His safest bet would be to use a bomb to destroy them all from a distance. On the other hand, that would undoubtedly reveal Killer Queen's ability, which would take away Kira's only advantage.

Of course, all that mattered little when he couldn't even locate Vino. He briefly considered using Sheer Heart Attack to flush out his foe via body heat, but that idea was quickly dashed. The automatic sub-Stand, though durable and undeniably deadly, was ill-suited to fight such a Stand as this one. Even if Vino didn't figure out its ability, he would probably bombard it with his insect-pyramids and rendering it incapable of exploding in the first place. As of right now, his only remaining option was to figure out a way to make the waiter reveal himself.

As his head swivelled to look behind him once more, Kira saw a second horde of glowing yellow insects, this time bigger than before and charging straight at the vehicle. Clamping his hands over his ears, ducked down below the windows and braced himself for the inevitable thunder.

It never came. Daring to take a peek through the window, he saw that the Stand was nowhere to be seen. Yet, there was something else going on, something different from a normal attack. Paying close attention, he could now feel an unusual vibration. It began in his feet, both of which were on the floor, and worked its way up until it was reverberating through his entire body, making his teeth chatter and eyeballs shake in their socket. Then, a strange, droning noise began to echo from within the air conditioning. Buzzing.

The Stand was in the ventilation system.

Kira barely had enough time to react. Taking control of Killer Queen, he made the Stand drop the door and, using both of its still-untouched legs, kicked a massive hole in the roof of the car as if it was made of wet tissue paper. Kira wrapped his arms around the neck of the catlike apparition and held on tight as his Stand jumped, using its immense strength to propel the two of them into the air. It wasn't a moment too soon either, as the moment they left the car's interior was consumed by a deluge of hundreds of the Stand's tiny insectoid bodies. They buzzed violently, attaching to anything and everything in an effort to capture a target that was no longer there.

Despite the narrow escape, Kira wasn't safe yet. Apparently realising that their target was no longer in the car, the swarm realigned itself and resumed their chase, taking to the sky after him in a screaming frenzy. The blond serial killer couldn't help but smile to himself. Just as planned.

As he reached his maximum height, almost 20 metres, Kira opened his left hand and revealed his trump card: one of the fuzzy dice from the car. He cocked his arm back and, using every ounce of his strength, hurled the fluffy cube straight into the amorphous mass of Stands. Killer Queen's precise vision tracked it, waiting for exactly the right moment to put its master's counterattack into action.

 _There._

The instant the fuzzy die was in the very centre of the cloud, the pink Stand formed a fist with its right hand and pressed its thumb down hard on top of its index finger. At once, a tremendous explosion rang out across the car park, consuming the entire cluster of insects in a fiery ball of destruction and obliterating every last one. Not long after, an agonised bellow echoed out from the bushes at the far end of the property. Kira's eyebrows raised in understanding. So _that_ was where Vino was hiding.

Noticing that the ground was fast approaching, Kira manifested Killer Queen's legs and overlapped them around his own as he landed, his Stand's durable body absorbing the otherwise-debilitating shock without issue. Letting out a dignified sigh, Kira wasted no time brushing himself off. He despised being in other people's cars, unbearably filthy as they tended to be. Oh, well, he could always wash himself off at home. Right now, he had a battle to finish.

Before he could even take a step, however, something small and fast pelted Kira's right cheek and sent a stabbing wave of pain through that side of his face. Reflexively bringing his hand up, he found that there was a single one of Take On Me's pyramids adhered to his cheek.

' _What?'_ thought Kira, a new surge of sweat beginning to form on his skin. Another pyramid struck him, though this time it instead landed on Killer Queen's chest. Kira still felt the impact through their psychic connection, and knew that even now it was freezing his Stand solid. ' _But I destroyed the entire swarm! I heard him scream, he should be a bloody mess after having that many of his Stand's bodies destroyed! How could he still be capable of attacking?'_

Then it hit him. He hadn't destroyed every single one of Take On Me's bodies. Of course he hadn't, they were designed specifically to be hard to remove, destroy or otherwise counter. When he transformed that fuzzy die into a bomb and detonated it, it had only destroyed the ones closest to the centre of the explosion. The rest had just been blown apart into pyramids and sent into the air. And now, they were coming down. Barrage after barrage of tiny projectiles fell upon him and his Stand, sticking fast to the both of them and sapping their strength as they quickly increased in number. The effect was so great and so instantaneous that Stand and Stand user were both forced to their knees, collapsing onto the gravel under the frigid pressure.

Eyes darting left and right, Kira searched for shelter from the hail of pyramids as they rained down upon him, more of them than ever before. The car was compromised, which now left the shack at the back of the Lakeside as the only safe haven. Kira forced himself to his knees and, summoning every remaining drop of willpower left inside his body, bolted full pelt towards the salvation of the small structure. His shoes thundered against the weathered gravel, flying fragments scuffing them with every step, but he didn't care one bit. He just wanted to get out of the nightmare downpour that was Vino's Stand.

Ducking and weaving, Kira dodged the falling pyramids as best as he could until he finally reached the shanty-looking steel door. He practically fell against the aged metal, and thanked his lucky stars that it was unlocked. It swung open with his weight and, when it had fully opened, unceremoniously deposited the half-frozen killer on the floor as he lost his grip on the handle. Using his one good hand, thankfully untouched by the triagonal onslaught from above, he dragged himself inside and shut the door.

Kira stopped for a moment to take in his surroundings. The brick shed was small, each wall about three meters in length and covered in wooden shelves laden with various items that diminished the size further. The only light came from a dim bulb hanging unprotected from the ceiling. At the end closest to the restaurant building there was a set of heavy steel cellar doors leading down below the Lakeside, likely leading down into the island the compound was situated on. He could hear the pyramids of Vino's Stand still raining down on the felt roof, filling the entire room with the soft sound not dissimilar to the pattering of light rain.

Certain that he was secure for at least a short while now, Kira stopped to check himself over. Using an ancient-looking mirror he found on the lowest (and currently closest) shelf, he began manoeuvring himself and the object to get a better look at his back. Straining his eyes and aching shoulders as far as they could stretch, Kira saw that his entire back was caked in tiny yellow pyramids. It was as if he had rolled around in a puddle of the things, and he could already feel his blazer and trousers getting colder and colder.

None of that, however, was as bad as his right hand. Having been in contact with the pyramids the longest, his hand had turned an ugly, mottled red and blue mess. The skin had visibly started freezing and dying around the pyramids, and it would undoubtedly spread to his entire hand if he didn't do something soon. The effects were also present on Killer Queen, its right hand no longer even capable of moving enough to activate another bomb. In this state, he was basically a sitting duck for Vino to blast out of the water. There had to be something in here to help him.

Kira took inventory of the overflowing shelves, searching for anything to help defeat the creeping cold. Eyes scanning every shelf, he was distraught to find that the only things inside were various rusted gardening tools. Using his one good hand, Kira swiped his hand across the shelves as he searched for anything that could help, sending trowels, rakes and other equipment flattering to the hard concrete floor. Then, just as hopelessness threatened to swallow him whole like some ravenous beast, something caught his eye. Pushing the useless tools in front of it aside, Kira was granted salvation in the form of a green jerry can full of fuel, likely for a generator somewhere, and some matches. Stood upright on the ground was also a particularly oxidised metal barrel, its original colour now lost to the ages and covered instead by a thick layer of rust.

Kira's despair faded and was replaced by cool-headed confidence, a triumphant grin forming on his face despite the biting cold that sent icy shards of pain through his body. Once again, luck had sided with Yoshikage Kira.

* * *

Vino emerged from the bushes with a self-satisfied smirk upon his face. As he stepped out into the pale moonbeams, it was revealed that his uniform was no longer the pristine standard for waiters everywhere that it had once been. Rather, it was now sullied with an off-putting mixture of dirt, leaves, cobwebs and blood. Sanguine liquid still poured like a river from a large gash that ran from the middle of his forehead all the way down to the left side of his jaw and dyed ever more of his white shirt wet crimson, a testament to the destructive power of his enemy's Stand.

To say that he was surprised when Take On Me had been obliterated so easily would have been a gross understatement. Never before had someone ever managed to overcome his Stand's durability, yet this no-name customer had wiped out over half of the swarm in a single blast and give him this ugly wound in the process. He honestly never would have expected a Stand that strong could exist. That said, he never would have expected that such a painfully average guy could have been a Stand user either, but now wasn't really the time for reflection.

What a happy accident, though! After Take On Me got blown up, he thought that he was done for. He wouldn't have enough time to make more insects before the diner reached him with that bomb Stand of his. Imagine his surprise, then, when the remains of his Stand began pelting his enemy from above in a sneak attack that he never would have even thought of using. He could scarcely believe his luck!

As he walked towards the shack where his enemy had hidden, he noticed that his swarm was a little too thin for comfort. He still hadn't made more after the other ones were disabled, and the ones he kept at his side just in case of emergencies weren't all that great in number anyway.

"Huh. I'd better fix that." he said to nobody in particular as the yellow aura began to flare up around his body. The swirling ethereal energy began to coalesce around his back, sending incandescent yellow light dancing across the gravel behind him, until something solid began to take shape. Little by little, the main body of Vino's Stand manifested itself.

The heavy yellow mass hung on his back like a rucksack, about half again as big as his torso. It was made completely out of yellow triangular pyramids, and resembled a giant durian. Dotting its surface were vaguely triangular holes at regular intervals which stretched deep into the infinite space within. At least, Vino thought it was infinite. Frankly, he'd never really bothered checking.

Concentrating, Vino tensed his back muscles like coiled wires until a buzzing sound echoed from within Take On Me. It began to rumble and shake on his back, jerking its user around slightly. The tremors build in intensity until finally, from the holes, a veritable horde of octahedral insects exploded out and filled the air with intense buzzing. Vino laughed freely at the rush of adrenaline as more and more bodies spilled from the massive hive, unable to restrain his joy at the though of freezing that blond bastard's arms off. _God,_ he loved his job.

Before long, Vino was standing about a metre from the metal door. He could hear clattering from within, probably from stuff hitting the floor. His eyes narrowed. Just what was this guy doing in there? He'd better get in there and kill him, just in case the boys down in the cellar got found out.

…Actually, it wouldn't hurt to have a little fun first, right? Sure, they'd be pissed, but it had been so long since he'd had a decent fight, and the excitement was beginning to override his better judgment. He knew that, sure, but how much damage was this guy really going to cause in his position? A mischievous expression took shape on Vino's face as he cupped his hands around his mouth.

"Are you alright in there, _sir_?" he shouted at the shack, making sure to put special emphasis on the 's _ir'_ part. "Perhaps you need a towel to mop up after you pissed yourself, huh?"

The racket from inside stopped, but no reply came. Vino's expression wavered. Surely he'd respond after an insult like that. Had he just keeled over and died? It wasn't an impossibility, after all; others had succumbed to Take On Me in the past. Still, he didn't like the silence. It was disconcerting, as if his adversary was taunting him. His lip curled up in a vindictive sneer at the thought and the yellow aura momentarily grew more violent. He'd show the blond fucker just who he was dealing with.

Placing his shoe on the door, Vino prepared to breach the building. Take On Me swarmed at his sides, the frantic beating of hundreds of wings symbolic of his own eagerness. Concentrating all the force into his foot, he kicked open the iron door with a deafening crash and jumped inside, Take On Me surrounding him as a protective shield.

A second later, he was soaking wet.

* * *

His plan had worked. Just as he expected, Vino's overconfidence caused him to blindly burst into the shed without thinking. Now the imbecile was drenched in the fuel from the jerry can he had placed above the door. Kira sat on the floor at the far wall from Vino, his fight hand holding onto the rim of the rusted barrel. Now for the second stage of his plan.

"What the hell is this stuff?" Vino questioned, the confidence in his voice now replaced with confusion. He sniffed his arm experimentally, and his eyes widened in shock. "G-Gasoline?! What the fuck is going on here?!"

Vino looked back up at Kira, eyes full of fear and cold sweat dripping down his face. "H-How the hell could you have done this?! I saw you, you should be virtually paralysed right now! You were covered in pyramids! You _are_ covered in pyramids! You shouldn't even be able to move your fingers!" he screamed, his finger pointing accusingly at the blond man.

Kira's smirk widened. "You would think so, wouldn't you? But unfortunately for you-" his left hand whipped up from behind his back, revealing a single lit match. It was at that moment that Vino realised his fatal mistake.

"-I still have one free hand."

As Vino reached forward in vain, Kira dropped the match straight into the barrel and aimed it straight at the waiter's body. Almost instantaneously the components inside ignited, flooding the entire room with a pillar of intense flames that dyed everything a violent orange hue. The churning maw of the firestorm engulfed Vino and his Stand, tongues of flame igniting his fuel-drenched uniform with all the fury of hell and cooking him alive.

Kira's ears were ringing. Being right next to the explosion of his makeshift flamethrower was unlike anything he'd ever experienced from Killer Queen. While his Stand's bombs were indeed loud and certainly more powerful than the gasoline, they were also somehow gentle in that he felt no pain whatsoever when they went off, even right next to his ear. The fuel explosion, however, was nothing like the refined and controlled bombs of his Stand. It was loud, it was imprecise and it was crude. Kira found it almost offensive that such a repulsive thing could be grouped into the same category as his beloved Killer Queen.

When the ringing finally faded, though, it was substituted by another sound: bloodcurdling screaming. Looking over at the source of the noise, Kira saw that, against all odds, Vino was still alive. Kira allowed a small sigh to escape through his nose. He would have to fix that.

As he lifted himself off of the floor, he noticed to his delight that the yellow pyramids on both him and his Stand had disappeared. It seemed as though the cold he felt wasn't just a natural effect of the heat getting sucked out, but actually a part of Take On Me itself. Now that its user was disabled and incapable of sustaining its effects, all of his maladies had disappeared. His hand was back to its healthy flesh colour, and walking was as easy as ever. Best of all, Killer Queen's right hand was also unfrozen and capable of making bombs again.

Around him, the shelves had also caught fire, especially those that the waiter splashed with gasoline when he charged in. If he had to guess, it would be about three minutes at the most until the flames fully consumed the tiny room and spread to the rest of the building. Oh, well, it wasn't his problem. If anything, it would help erase any evidence he may have left behind during the battle. He'd just have to speed things up a bit.

With this new knowledge in mind, Kira stepped over to Vino as the catlike Stand hovered over his shoulder, the two of them looking down at the fallen adversary. Now that he was up close, he truly saw the state that his attack had left the young man in.

Vino's face had been reduced to a black, bubbling mess. Grotesque patches of raw flesh peeked through the cracks and tears of the charred outer layer of skin, oozing bodily fluids out onto the surrounding flesh. His right eye was gone, only a mushy, pale stew in its place. Most of his hair was gone as well, the scalp burned to a crisp. On top of that, his entire torso had been consumed in the flames as well, leaving his body scorched and his outfit a tattered jumble of blackened strips still burning in some places. He was repulsive, a vulgar shadow of the Stand user that once was. Yet despite this the yellow aura, though now pale and faint, still sparked around the young man as his Stand tried to appear, to do anything it could to save its user's life.

Kira kneeled down beside the young man and, using Killer Queen, punched a gaping hole in his chest. The attack decimated Vino's lungs, stopping the screaming and flickering in no time. Instead, only bloody chokes escaped his lips. His one good eye, overflowing with pure anguish, flicked open and stared at his murderer.

"Well, Vino, you did put up an incredible fight." Kira admitted in a nonchalant tone. "If it weren't for that can of gasoline, I would probably be dead right now. Regardless, I just can't help but feel as though you've somehow beaten me. I'm very lucky to be alive."

Bringing up his shoe, he stamped down hard on Vino's arm, digging his heel into the warped flesh. His victim, unable to scream, could only buck and writhe in agony, his suffering evident on what remained of his face.

"However, there's one thing you should know..." Kira leant down and put his lips right next to Vino's half-melted ear, his warm breath tickling any nerve endings that hadn't been destroyed. "…and that is that luck always has and always will side with me, Yoshikage Kira."

Pulling back, he positioned himself above the young man's head once more. "I suppose I can't leave you here, can I? That would be rude, just abandoning you without anything to show for it other than third degree burns. I should at least give you a consolation prize. It's only fair, right?"

Kira pushed himself off the ground once more before fishing something out of his pocket: the ring he came down here for in the first place. Holding it over the dying man, he let it fall onto the seared tissue of his chest where it landed with a small thud.

"You can have this. I won't be needing it anymore, after all." He said, looking at his watch. "Well, I'm going to have to go now. It's already been nearly ten minutes since I left the table, so there's no doubt that those two are wondering where I've been. I'll have to get back before Smith gets suspicious."

He turned to walk out the door, but stopped halfway through the doorframe and turned back to his latest victim, who was eyeing him with burning hatred even hotter than the flames that sealed his own fate. "Oh, and Vino? Thank you for your service, the meal was delicious."

With that, Kira left the dying man on his own in the burning room, the smoke starting to get almost unbearable. As he left, he overlapped Killer Queen's right arm with his own and pressed his thumb down.

 _Click._

Kira smiled to himself in contentment. Turning the ring into a bomb had solved both his problem of incriminating evidence and his problem of an enemy Stand. Tilting his head up to the clock tower, he wondered if he could make it back to the dinner table before Smith got too suspicious.

* * *

 _-One Hour Later-_

Kira was driving along a suburban road in his car, just a few streets away from his nice, peaceful home he loved so much. It was quite similar to the one he had back in Morioh, a stylish white vehicle with plenty of space inside.

He thought back to the events of one hour previous. After killing Vino, he had made sure to erase all evidence of their battle, including using his Stand to eliminate Vino's totalled car entirely. He had then managed to get back to the table before he was gone too long, successfully dodging an extra helping of Miss Smith's suspicion. From there, he had merely waited and acted natural until the fire alarm rang out through the building, at which point he simply followed fire protocol and exited the building safely.

He had then been forced to stay for a while and comfort Miia, who had never experienced a fire before and was terrified at the concept of having been inside a burning building, but she thankfully calmed down in no time at all thanks to the combined efforts of him, Smith and a particularly soft-spoken firefighter.

Once they had stayed for a while to watch the firefighters attempt to tackle the blaze, which had now worked its way up to the tower, Smith caught his attention, said something about taking Miia to her host family, then bade him farewell. He was polite and courteous on the outside, though of course he was internally jumping for joy over the fact that he would never have to see neither lamia nor coordinator ever again. Cut forward about half an hour, and here he was.

Kira had a smile on his face the entire way. He had to admit, he did an excellent job of dealing with the catastrophe that was his one-year anniversary. Sure, he had encountered an enemy Stand user, but he had killed him in the end, and wasn't that what really mattered?

But as he pulled in to his road, he saw something peculiar outside of Kimihito's house. His headlights illuminated a dark blue van with with the words _CULTURAL EXCHANGE_ printed on the side in obnoxiously white capital letters. Kira's right eyebrow raised. What would the exchange possibly want here? In the past he and Kimihito had even discussed the Exchange and its extraspecies program, and his amicable neighbour had told him that his parents probably wouldn't allow having someone they didn't know in the house.

As he braked and used the remote to open his garage, he was able to get a better look at the scene unfolding in front of the Kurusu household. Kimihito, illuminated by the light from inside his home, could be seen with a helpless expression on his face. He was waving his arms in front of his hands in front of his face in a ' _no thanks'_ kind of way. The gesture was directed at a couple of shadowy silhouettes, their features imperceptible through the veil of nighttime darkness.

Frowning, Kira parked his car in the garage and quietly approached the scene. If these people were trying to trouble the neighbour he liked so much, then he wouldn't hesitate to step in.

"…B-But why are you putting her here? This isn't even the right residence!" Kimihito said, clearly distressed. What was going on here? Were these people trying to drop a homestay on his neighbour? From the sound of things, that was basically the problem. Kira's frown softened.

' _Well, that's not such a big problem.'_ Kira thought to himself. ' _If that's the root of the issue, then he can just refuse them. It's not like the government can force him to-'_

"Yes, well, her actual host is currently unavailable for whatever reason, and someone needs to take her in. So, we found you on our database. As the quiet son of two upstanding citizens living in a house just begging to be remodelled, you fit the bill perfectly."

Kira stopped in his tracks, eyes wide. He knew that voice, that feminine pitch and that unnervingly nonchalant tone. It couldn't be. After all he'd done to survive the night and keep his quiet life secure, she'd still ended up here?!

Finally close enough to get a good look at them, he took in their sideways-facing features as the dread inside him mounted. He could now see the black, silky hair, sunglasses and amused smirk of the taller woman, as well as the crimson locks and timid expression of the shorter one. Despite all his hopes and prayers for the contrary, he was currently looking straight at the two of his most despised people currently in this world.

Smith and Miia were currently standing outside Kimihito's house organising a homestay.

Just when he thought fate couldn't spit on him any more harshly, the young lamia chose that precise moment to shy away from Kimihito's eye contact. She turned her head to the left with a bashful expression on her face and ended up locking eyes with Kira.

Her expression went from reserved to confused, then from confused to pleasantly surprised. Abandoning the other two, much to Kimihito's confusion and Smith's chagrin, she slithered out of the gate and up to the blond businessman.

"Mr Kira? What are you doing here?" she asked him, confusion in her voice but the relief at seeing a familiar face visible in her expression.

"Well, I live here. In that house right there, in fact." he motioned behind him as he replied.

"What, really? That's such a coincidence! I can't believe my new host family lives right next to you!" she grinned, fangs showing. Kira sweatdropped. Suddenly, she didn't seem so reluctant about living here.

More footsteps drew the pair's attention. Coming towards them were Kimihito and Smith. As the female agent walked towards him, Kira was pleased to note that her carefree expression now seemed slightly strained.

His neighbour was the first to speak up. "Wait. Miia, you know Mr Kira? How?" he tilted his head slightly in perplexity.

"Oh, yes, Mr Kurusu. In fact, the three of us were just having dinner together barely over an hour ago." Smith replied for her charge.

"Is that right? Wow, what a small world we live in!" Kimihito said, rubbing the back of his head and laughing. Apparently, Smith had neglected to mention the Lakeside fire. Not that he minded, of course; it was easier this way for him too.

"So, I'll bet you want to come in as well, Mr Kira. In fact, I've got some cookies in the oven that should be about done baking. We can talk about things over those, if you'd all like."

' _No.'_

"Yes, I'd love to." Kira lied through his teeth. "I haven't tasted your baking in months." While Kimihito's cookies were indeed a delight in every sense of the word, he just didn't want to be around either of the two women any longer than he had already been, especially Smith.

"What's that? You give out free food?" Smith's tone became uncharacteristically alert. "I might just start to like you, Mr Kurusu."

At that, the four of them began walking towards Kimihito's front door. Kimihito was smiling at the prospect of people tasting his baking, Smith was smiling at the prospect of free baking, Miia was just smiling, and Kira was lamenting the fact that he was currently not anywhere else right now.

* * *

The early morning sun began to rise over the horizon, sending the first morning rays out over the landscape. Field mice darted for their burrows, birds began to sing and an orange glow was cast on the ruined husk of the Lakeside. Over half of the building had gone up in flames before the inferno was put out, completely ruining the interior and forcing the business to temporarily shut down. Now that the flames had been put out, the firefighters had left and the police had cordoned off the island, leaving it deserted. Except, apparently, for one.

In the employee car park a single person stood alone, leaning against a young tree. They wore a heavy brown cloak with a hood that concealed their form and identity, the only visible features being a strong yellow jaw made of thick chitin peeking out from under the hood. The mystery figure tapped their feet impatiently, as though waiting for something that was long overdue.

However, the furious tapping stopped immediately when the creak of metal against metal rang out across the grounds. From out of a small, burnt-out shack on the side of the main building strode a second figure, though this one was dressed far more spectacularly. This one, obviously a man and very much human, had bright orange hair - not ginger, orange - curled into an incredibly long elephant's trunk style, which hung down between his eyes and stopped just above the tip of his slightly crooked nose. A similarly orange trench coat with a thumbs-up pin on the left breast covered most of his torso and legs, leaving only his hands, muscled chest and orange spats visible and hiding everything else underneath.

"Anything?" the new arrival called out to his compatriot, striding across the gravel without a care in the world. A furious snarl came from under the brown mantle and the figure pounced at the orange man, pinning him to the ground with barely an inch between their faces.

"Yeah, here's something for you." the cloaked figure hissed in a feminine yet somewhat insectoid voice, seething rage radiating off of her. "It's called a piece of advice. Namely," she inhaled deeply before unleashing the full force of her lungs on the poor man pinned beneath her. "DON'T GO AROUND ANNOUNCING YOUR PRESENCE TO THE WORLD, YOU FUCKING DOLT! WHAT IF WE WERE COMPROMISED, HUH?!"

However, he was completely unfazed, merely offering her a grin as obnoxious as his choice in clothing. "Yeah, but we're not, though. You would have said something if we were, right?"

The woman paused for a moment, then shook her head and let out a weary sigh. She stood back up, allowing the colourful man to right himself. "Whatever, I don't care anymore. Did you find anything salvageable down there?"

"Yeah, most of the meth lab is pretty much intact. Only some equipment's broken, and all the product is packed inside these huge metal crates. Not much of the fire spread down there, and the chemists must've taken precautions." the joviality in his voice only grew as he said this. "To be honest, I don't even know how they even managed to keep so much of the basement intact. I mean, virtually the whole room is wooden shelves or support beams."

Ignoring his conundrum, the woman continued. "Any sign of Vino?"

For the first time since emerging from the cellar, the man's enthusiasm faded. "Not even a trace. It's like the guy just disappeared. There's no corpse, no blood, not even his car, for God's sake."

"Well, it's safe to assume he's dead, then?"

"Don't you feel anything for him? Anything at all?"

"Not particularly."

It was the man's turn to sigh in frustration. His partner could be real heartless sometimes. "You know this has got to be an enemy Stand, right? Nothing else could make someone just vanish from the face of the Earth like that."

She scoffed. "Of course I do. The question is, why did they do it? Did they want money? Petty revenge? Something else?"

"How am I supposed to know?" He pinched the bridge of his nose, pushing the spiral of hair out of the way as he did. "Look, our job isn't to psychoanalyse the culprit, it's to find them and kill them."

"Oh, I'm aware." she replied in a tone equal parts dark and excited, turning to face the rising sun and basking in its light. "Whoever he is, I'm going to make this son of a bitch wish that he never messed with Passione."

 **-To be continued in chapter 6: Settling In-**

* * *

Stand: Take On Me

User: Vino (Retired)

Power: E

Speed: B

Precision: D

Durability: A

Range: A

Potential: D

Swarm type. It takes the form of a kind of beehive made of many triangular pyramids, so much that it looks somewhat like a durian. The hive is completely static and defenceless, and appears on the user's back like a backpack. However, the hive dispenses insects that have the power to dive-bomb a target and suck the heat out of anything they come into contact with.

* * *

 **I bet you guys weren't expecting this, huh? Barely any time after the last chapter was published and I come out with another one almost twice as long? Let this be a lesson to all that copious amounts of free time and inspiration is both a wonderful and terrible thing, because I now feel very tired.**

 **But anyway, this was my first ever attempt at an action scene. It felt really fun to write because it felt like a really JoJo-esque thing to do, especially the final scene of the Vino vs Kira battle.**

 **If you have any questions, congratulations or criticisms, then please don't hesitate to leave a comment.**

 **See you all soon.**

 **P.S. On Archive Of Our Own, there's a fanfiction about Terunosuke Miyamoto - the guy with Enigma from DiU - that everyone should try out. It's called Enigma boy, and its one of the best fanfictions ive ever read.**


	6. Settling In (Part 1)

**Hi, everyone. Not much to say here except sorry this took so long. Also, thanks for all the positive feedback last time, it helped me see what's good and what needs work. Anyway, here's the next chapter.**

* * *

The alarm clock blared an offensive chorus into the room, causing Kira to wake with a start. A magenta aura flickered around his body for a second, but it soon faded when he realised that he wasn't under attack. Grumbling, he reached over to the clock and gave it a heavy smack, silencing the racket for good. Taking a look at the time on the clock, he let out a loud groan of discontent. 6:30 was displayed in harsh red numbers on the machine's electronic face.

' _I mustn't have been paying attention when I set the alarm last night. The time's an hour early, and it isn't even playing the radio.'_ Yoshikage thought to himself, blearily rubbing the sleep from his eyes. From the time on the clock he had missed yet another hour of peaceful sleep, just one of many in a recent plague of late nights and too-early rises. He was fortunate that he had the day off work due to pest control dealing with a roach infestation that had apparently managed to stay hidden for months, otherwise he would have had to make it through the day running on fumes. His mouth warped into a bitter grimace as his mind wandered to the identity of the person responsible.

Miia.

The lamia had been staying at Kimihito's house for almost a month now, and Kira didn't know how much longer he could stand it. At first it had been fine, with Miia mostly staying quiet thanks to her shy demeanour whenever around her host. As a matter of fact, he barely registered her existence except for the occasional morning when she would wave to him through the window as he left for work. Unfortunately, that blessed peace wasn't to last. Over time, Miia had been drawn in by Kimihito's welcoming personality, eventually coming out of her shell and revealing the bubbly (and in his opinion far too noisy) girl within. But this wasn't just regular friendship. No, what the red-haired young woman felt towards his neighbour was something far more intimate.

Now, night in and night out, racket echoed from the neighbouring house's bedroom. It was like a miniature war zone, complete with screaming and the turning on and off of various different lights seemingly at random. He had once asked the Kurusu boy about the noise one day, to which he explained, blushing and stuttering all the way, that Miia had at some point given in to her urges and started breaking into his room at night, hoping she might get lucky with her efforts.

What with Miia's highly illegal advances and Kimihito's prudish attitude mixing together about as well as oil and water, Kira was trapped in his bed listening to the lustful lamia's nightly chases of the poor young man. The clamour would continue late into the night, sending Kimihito's scandalised screams out of the open windows and depriving Kira of the precious eight hours of sleep that were a vital part of his quiet life. And that wasn't all. Everything bad currently happening to him could be traced back to that half-serpent avatar of misfortune.

He was almost willing to kill her and be done with it, but then Kimihito would get into serious trouble with the government, and he wasn't prepared to do that to his neighbour. It wasn't like he was a monster, after all.

Finally accepting the fact that he wouldn't be reclaiming any of his lost hours today, he forced himself out of bed and began his day. Early. Again.

* * *

Kira sat on the sofa in his living room, adjusting a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs resting on his lap. He had already taken his morning shower, and was now clad in a freshly-washed dressing gown. The calming feeling of plush material against his bare skin was to die for, and was a staple feature of his lazy weekend mornings. In fact, he would almost say that it made up for the lost hour in bed. When he was content that his plate wouldn't fall and ruin the carpet, he aimed the remote in his hand at the large flatscreen TV before him and pressed the power button just in time for the local morning news.

If there was one thing that Kira liked to do on a Saturday morning, it was to sit down and keep himself informed by watching the news. It was an incredibly simple pastime, barely even a pastime at all, but that was the way this quiet salaryman liked it. Giving it a while to warm up, he raised the first forkful of breakfast into his mouth when the finally

"-veryone at home is having as nice a Saturday morning as I am. Our top story today, it's been almost a month since the Lakeside Italian restaurant arson and the authorities still aren't certain of the culprit. The police confirmed it as an act of arson three days after the fire, but there has been little headway-"

He changed the channel, unwilling to relive the events of his one-year anniversary any more than he needed to. There had been more than enough Stand users for one lifetime. Maybe the national news with its broader subjects would take his mind off of his troubles, Stand user, liminal or otherwise.

"-across Japan, extraspecies homestays are becoming increasingly common to the point that many stores are undergoing remodelling to accommodate other speci-"

Kira switched the TV off this time, brows furrowed and closed eyelids twitching slightly.

A morning run sounded nice.

* * *

Kira's running shoes carried him along the pavement, the rhythmic pounding holding him in almost a trance like state. Since he was out running, he had put on a white tracksuit with a light pink zipper, despite the warm weather (he found that people tended to stare disturbingly at his muscular physique if he wore anything too revealing). He had a small exercise room complete with a treadmill, it was true, but sometimes that simply couldn't compare with the feeling of the wind on one's face as the scenery passed by. Today he had decided to do a circuit of the park, and maybe go for an early lunch at some point. St Lady's would probably be serving up their sandwiches by the time he was done, after all.

Kira couldn't help but smile peacefully as the morning sun shone down on him, its rays striking him and mingling with the cool windchill in such a pleasant way that it felt like the world itself was on his side. Running was such a good way to de-stress after the recent string of events, and the had almost completely forgotten about his new neighbour's antics. Although he didn't know why, he just couldn't help but feel lime everything would turn out fine, like nothing could go wrong.

That was, until the most peculiar sound reached his ears as he went to pass by the entrance to a side-street. It was like two hard objects clacking together repeatedly in a clear pattern. Four hits, a pause, then another four hits, almost like the sound of a horse's hooves getting louder each moment.

He was in danger.

Acting on its user's subconscious instincts, Killer Queen exploded into action. Two ghostly gauntlet-clad hands grabbed Kira's shoulder and tugged him back around the corner, stopping his advance and returning him to safety. It wasn't a moment too soon, either, as less than a second later a large horse thundered through the spot where he had been standing. The galloping faded soon after as the animal slowed, its rider bringing the steed to a stop.

After briefly pausing to recover from the shock of almost being trampled into a fine paste, Kira wheeled around angrily to confront the rider about their reckless jockeying. However, he froze in his tracks when he realised the rider wasn't a rider at all.

The horse and the person were actually revealed to be one single being, a human torso growing from where a horse's head would usually be. The human half was that of a young woman, in her early twenties by the looks of her. Her hair was a blonde colour that shimmered slightly as it swayed in the breeze, done up in a high ponytail that hung down below her waist. She had a noble face, with a soft jaw, pale skin and even features. The highlight of her face, though, were the eyes that resembled clear pools of water and reflected the sunlight like the surface of a pond. Her ears, on the other hand, were that of a horse, covered with soft-looking hair and flicking occasionally. On her body, she wore a sleeveless white shirt with a line pattern on it, which hid a rather sizeable pair of breasts. She finished off the look with a bright red cravat tied around her neck beneath the shirt's collar.

Then below the woman's waist came the equine body. It was less complex than the upper half, as the only parts the could see were the lower legs and tail. The rest was covered in what Kira assumed was a surprisingly successful attempt at a skirt for an entire horse, coloured a simple yet elegant jet black. Strangest of all was an ornate-looking sword in a similarly decorative scabbard hanging from her human half's hip.

Kira sighed inwardly as she trotted over to him. Another extraspecies.

"Hail, stranger!" she called over the clip of her hooves, concern in her tone. She spoke with an accent, obviously a foreigner. "Are you unharmed? I apologise for nearly running into you, I was absorbed in thought."

"It's fine, really. But why were you running so quickly? It's quite a dangerous thing to do. You could seriously injure some unlucky person, you know?" Kira said while looking up at her questioningly. He had to admit that it felt like a curious thing for him to do, what with his generous height allowing him to tower over most women. However, this centaur's lower half allowed her to reach what he estimated to be an extra seven inches over him.

The centaur's cheeks quickly grew flushed, obviously embarrassed at being reprimanded by a complete stranger. "A-Ah, well, you see, I have been patrolling this area looking for a master."

…

"I'm sorry, what?"

The woman took on a new, more assured look, and suddenly Kira wished he never asked. "As an honourable centaur, it is my duty to follow my race's millennia-old tradition of looking for a master to serve in glorious battle! I had hoped to find one by running past street corners, as I had heard of the Japanese fortune-telling magic charm where if you run into someone at an intersection, then they are your fated one!" her face then took on a disappointed, frustrated look as she held her chin contemplatively. "But you can't possibly be my master, since we didn't actually collide. Perhaps I should have brought a piece of toast in my mouth, after all?"

Kira honestly didn't know how to respond to that. Just who was this woman, and how uninformed did she have to be to mix up Japanese folklore with cheap comic gags? Oh, well, he wasn't about to correct her. As far as he was concerned, she could think what she liked.

"I see." he nodded his head in understanding, despite secretly thinking that it was the single stupidest thing he had ever heard. "Well, I suppose I'll leave you to it. I have to start my run or I'll probably won't beat the lunch rush. Have a nice day." he finished with a small bow of his head and went to leave, but was stopped in his tracks by her voice.

"Excuse me, but did you just say that you were going on a run?" her ears quirked in restrained excitement. "I have only recently arrived in this land, and I am quite unfamiliar with its layout. I have a permit to be out on my own, but I do not know where I could find somewhere to stretch my legs. I apologise for my intrusion, but would you be willing to let me join you?"

* * *

Half an hour had passed since Kira had been forced to allow the centaur to join in on his run, and the two of them had almost completed their lap of the park. Funnily enough, though, it had been a remarkably pleasant experience to run with her. Unlike the scarlet-haired menace next door, this woman seemed to be a perfectly sane and reasonable individual, if a tad eccentric. He had learned that she had arrived from England in order to find a master, which was needed to fulfil a tradition of the centaur race that dated back hundreds of years. She expressed great interest in serving her lord-to-be, and went so far as to proclaim herself a knight. Despite this, she seemed to have a very down-to-earth personality for the most part, as well as a firm grasp on manners. Kira absent-mindedly wondered if it was just reptilian extraspecies on their own that were abhorrent thorns in the sides of everyone around them, and whether mammalian ones were simply more acceptable to be around as a rule.

As they progressed past a wide pond, its surface animate with ripples left the motions of aquatic fauna, he couldn't help but notice the difference between their respective methods of running. He himself moved across the path at a more than reasonable speed faster than a jog but not yet an outright sprint. The regal liminal beside him, however, was a different story. Thanks to her lower body being that of a horse, she was able to keep up with his pace with a simple trot. Furthermore, while he was covered in a thin layer of perspiration that clung to his skin unpleasantly, she hadn't even broken a sweat. Kira's eyebrows rose, impressed; despite having already encountered two of them before now, he had never truly understood nor respected the incredible physical advantages liminals held over humans until now.

It didn't even begin to compete with the world of Stands, of course, but he had to give credit where credit was due.

Kira was pulled from his bubble of thought by the frequency of his companion's hoof-falls steadily decreased. He slowed to a stop and turned around to her standing still about three metres away.

"I see that we are approaching the end of the park." the centaur flicked a stray strand of hair out of her face. "Thank you for allowing me to join you, and for showing me an appropriate running route. I will not forget your kindness." she then bowed deeply, blonde hair cascading over her shoulders as she did so. Kira felt another drop of sweat form on his cheek, though this one was less from the exercise and more a result of the second-hand embarrassment from the young woman publicly butchering more Japanese customs.

"You're very welcome. Now, I'm going to have to leave soon, or I won't be able to beat the lunch rush. Goodbye." Yoshikage replied, hiding the discomfort he felt from being a part of this spectacle well. In all honesty, the only reason he had for allowing her to come with him was because the park was very sparsely populated at this time of day, otherwise he would have just slipped off. Plus, this girl was probably friends with Smith, and he didn't want to give her another reason to antagonise him.

With that last comment he turned on his heel and began to walk away, gradually picking up the pace to restart his run.

"Wait, good sir!"

He turned his head again at the sound of her voice, one eyebrow raised. She was stood straight again, a strange look on her face. Had he dropped something without realising it?

"I apologise for my intrusiveness, but you did not tell me your name."

Kira inwardly sighed. Of course she wanted to know his name, typical. He wasn't one to give out his details so easily, as obsessed with his quiet life as he was. Alas, he didn't have much of a choice this time.

"I am Yoshikage Kira. And you?" he asked, purely out of manners.

The centaur's eyes once again took on a headstrong gleam as she brought her right fist up to her chest, just above where her heart would be. "My name is Centorea Shianus! It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"

* * *

The street was, much like the park, relatively uncrowded. Maybe fifteen people were present outside, thanks to the fact that it was a working day as well as the rather sweltering sunshine today. As he strolled through the automatic doors of St Lady's, he noticed that the situation was much the same inside. He had gotten there a good half-hour earlier than he usually would have, and the majority of people hadn't been able to leave their own workplaces yet. That combined with the fact that the sandwiches wouldn't be out for another five minutes meant that very few people were inside the shop right now. He saw that the shelf Miia broke had been replaced, erasing all evidence of that troublesome lamia from the otherwise-perfect establishment once more.

He decided to occupy his remaining time by walking over to the desserts section and seeing what was on offer. Upon reaching the aisle at the far end of the building, he allowed his eyes and mind to wander over the delectable treats laid out before him. Pastries of all shapes, sizes and origins sat on their shelves in wicker baskets, just begging to be eaten. Muffins, cookies, gingerbread, cinnamon rolls and everything else in between was present, their various appearances and aromas all combining to create one collective atmosphere that screamed ' _delicious_ '. He was meant to be watching his caloric intake to maintain good health and keep stress at bay, but what harm would one treat do?

He reached out and grabbed a particularly large croissant, its still-warm pastry making his hand tingle pleasantly. For some reason he felt oddly tranquil. Maybe it was the calm atmosphere of the relatively deserted bakery, or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't had to deal with one of Miia's outbursts for a while now. The only thing that would make this moment any better would be a girlfriend that could share it with him, letting her palm run over the pastries and helping him decide what to choose. Ah, well, it didn't matter. He'd find someone else soon enough, and for now he was just going to enjoy this moment of peace.

However, that serenity wasn't to last. As he tested the sponginess of the item, a flash of orange caught his eye from the other side of the store. He looked up from the shelves, eyes scanning the offending area, but found that there was nothing to be seen. Whatever it was must have darted behind some shelves.

A single drop of sweat appeared on Kira's forehead. Was that just his imagination, or something else? Was someone stalking him? Had an ally of Vino's found him? Could it be another Stand user, come to take revenge? As these thoughts raced through his mind, he resolved to act as naturally as possible. With any luck he was just overreacting, and if he really was being hunted then it would be more effective to lead his enemy into a false sense of security.

Standing up with the croissant in hand, he began to walk over to the cash register. As he walked, he strained his eyes and ears for anything suspicious amongst the sounds of walking shoppers and humming AC units, anything at all that would indicate a possible assailant. Between shelves, inside baskets, behind units, nowhere was spared from Kira's investigation. Yet, nothing turned up. Not a single sign of anything remotely orange showed itself, no matter how hard the blond salaryman searched. Kira's posture relaxed slightly. Maybe he really was just paranoid after his encounter with Vino-

Yoshikage collided with something as he rounded a corner and was instantly ripped from his train of thought, the croissant falling from his grip. Stumbling backwards, he caught onto a shelf with his free hand and managed to stop himself from going back any further. Gathering himself, he looked up and prepared to admonish the culprit who had destroyed his treat.

"Whoops! Sorry, man, I wasn't paying attention. You alright?"

Orange.

Orange was his first and primary thought as soon as he laid eyes on the person. The perpetrator, a man looking to be around his own age, was clad in a celebration of orange hues, so bright and prominent that he could have been on fire. His t-shirt was orange, with the word "apricot" in red English writing on the front. His trousers were a darker orange, with zippers in pointless places, and he wore a pair of white trainers with orange highlights.

The worst part was his bright orange hair, though. Easily the most ridiculous part of his look, it hung down to the tip of his nose in an elephant's trunk, swaying whenever he moved. Just looking at it made Yoshikage want to shiver; after Morioh, he had developed an irrational fear of extravagant hairstyles.

"I'm fine, thank you." Kira replied. His face was calm and expressionless, but underneath the tracksuit his heart was pounding. This orange colour was the one he'd seen before! This bizarre man had to be the one! He didn't know why the man hadn't immediately attacked, but it didn't matter. Maybe his Stand activated upon physical contact.

That said, there was always the chance that this person was just a normal citizen, so he had no choice but to be cordial.

"Oh, good! I was afraid I'd hurt you or something." the man looked him up and down with an impressed expression. "Although, there's not much chance of that, huh? You're a giant!"

"Yes, people often talk about my size." he said somewhat awkwardly, shifting his stance. This was beginning to get uncomfortable. Even if he wasn't a Stand user, this man was far too friendly and far too unusual for his liking. Any more time spent around someone this peculiar could make a scene, and that was the one thing Yoshikage Kira hated more than anything else.

The bizarre stranger didn't seem to notice his discomfort, though, merely chuckling at his comment. "I don't doubt it. My name's Fusilli." he said, extending his own hand towards the blond man. Kira's teeth ground together, though hidden from the stranger, now apparently Fusilli. He didn't particularly want to touch it, but for the sake of appearances he was forced to take the offer.

Touching this abnormal man's hand was, as Kira predicted, an absolutely horrid experience. Every moment that their palms were wrapped together was one more moment too many, and Kira couldn't stop his brain from imagining repugnant scenarios involving Fusilli's hands and… _other_ parts of his body. It took all of his willpower to keep a straight face, an effort that was most certainly not supported by the bile slowly rising in his throat.

"Say, you don't look Japanese. Where are you fro-"

At that moment, a pinging noise sounded out from within the man's orange trousers and cut him off, stopping the conversation in its tracks. Both of them reflexively ended the handshake, a fact at which the tall blond barely kept himself from sighing at in relief.

"Oh, sorry about that." Fusilli smiled apologetically as he scratched his cheek. "This could be a really important message, I've gotta check it. Give me a second." With that, He fished a dated-looking smartphone out of his pockets, switched it on and looked down at the screen.

The second he laid eyes on whatever the message said, the corners of his lips drooped from their smiling position as his face took on a more serious expression. It was as if something had suddenly sucked out all of the joviality out of him, leaving him with about as much emotion as a plastic mannequin and filling the air around them with almost-palpable tension. Even to Kira, who could switch between cordial and bloodthirsty in the blink of an eye, the sudden shift was somewhat disconcerting.

And yet, a moment later and he was back to normal, as if the mood swing hadn't even happened at all. He grinned sheepishly at the confused blond before him. "Yeah, I was right. This is kind of important, so I'm going to go ahead and leave. Sorry if this seems rude. See ya."

With that, he manoeuvred around Kira and walked off, his trainers squeaking against the tiled floor as he quickly disappeared behind the shelves and out of the automatic doors. As he left, Kira's brows furrowed in contemplation.

' _What kind of person dresses and acts like that? And what kind of name is Fusilli, anyway? Did his mother really hate him so much that she named him after pasta?'_ he thought while checking his croissant for signs of damage. ' _More importantly, I'm sure he was following me. I know that type of movement well enough. The question is, what did he want?'_

As his brain began to formulate thoughts of Stand users and plots against him, his fingers subconsciously reached upwards and placed themselves in his mouth. His teeth began to grind against them at an incredible pace, grinding down the keratin to mere stubs. Only when he noticed the sharp pang of pain when he finally pierced his own nail beds did he stop his savage chewing.

"What an awful development…" the blond-haired Stand user disdainfully looked down at his new injury, which would undoubtedly be noticed by the cashier. First he discovered a new potential enemy, and now he had a new injury that could possibly get infected, lead to a life-threatening illness and cause his entire quiet life to crumble down around him like a wooden shack in a hurricane. This was supposed to be an extra day off, and so far it had been nothing but troublesome. Really, he sometimes had to wonder just what this love-hate relationship with fate of his was all about.

The soft squeaking of freshly-oiled wheels caused him to look up to his left and through the gaps between shelves, upon which he saw an employee pushing out a cart packed with packed with the 11AM sandwiches. Their wrappers glistened in the artificial light, and he could smell the sweet scent of freshly-baked bread even from here.

He looked at his watch, which confirmed that it was indeed 11AM. Well, it was earlier than he usually liked, but eating lunch a little prematurely never hurt anyone. Brushing himself off one last time, he began to make his way towards the sandwich section, smiling to himself all the way at the prospect of getting the first pick.

* * *

Kira strolled down the commercial district, eyes flicking through the various products on display behind one decorated glass storefront before lazily moving onto the next. In his hand was his lunch, already half-eaten before he even got to his favourite park bench. It was almost humorous, that even when faced with something as simple as a sandwich he couldn't control his urges.

His urges…

He looked down at the fingernails on his right hand, the ones he hadn't bitten at earlier. The nails had already grown a total of a centimetre since last week, a clear sign of the insatiable hunger within him. It had been a month since he had known the touch of a woman's hand, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could wait. The smooth texture of the skin rubbing against his lips as he kissed the length of her thin fingers was what he lived for, an just thinking of it gave him shaking hands and beads of sweat on his brow.

He wanted a woman. He _needed_ a woman.

"So then he asks me if he wants to go on another date."

"Did you agree?"

"Of course I did, the guy's a fucking loser who'll keep buying me things so long as I dangle the possibility of getting his dick wet in front of his nose! I think I'm gonna lead him on for a little longer and then get rid of him once he's bought me enough stuff."

Kira's attention was caught by two feminine voices. Subtly turning his head, he saw a couple of young women walking down the street. They had obviously-bleached hair and were dressed in expensive clothing, with top-of-the-range brands visible on every article. From their wrists, ears and virtually anywhere else hung jewellery of every flavour, from gold bracelets to earrings. They carried themselves as if they were the only things in the world that mattered, flaunting their wealth and laughing obnoxiously at every little thing. Most immoral of all, it seemed like the one on the right was stringing along some poor man just for the fun of it. Truly reprehensible.

She had lovely hands, though. Even from here he could see that her vanity resulted in delicate care for them, manicures and expensive creams leaving them as soft and unblemished as a newborn's. The sight of them stirred something inside him and awakened his true nature, which finally reared its head after far too long laying dormant. He could barely suppress the primal urge to redeem this woman of her sins, to rush over there, right here and now, and wrap his fingers around her throat…

He smiled to himself. After the unpleasant events he'd been through this past month, didn't he deserve a little something after everything he had endured? This was long overdue. Taking another healthy mouthful of his sandwich, he turned around and began to tail the two of them. Maybe he could recover this day off after all.

 **-To be continued in chapter 7: Settling In (Part 2)-**

* * *

 **Okay, so I know that a few people are worried about me putting Passione in the story and making it work well/not seem forced. I can't say too much about it since that would spoil the story, but I can say that they'll be a key part of the plot. I've though out the basic idea and I'm convinced it'll work. Plus, I'm pretty excited about the coming events, since we're getting to the part where Kira really begins to change the direction of the MonMusu story. As always, please leave a review and don't hesitate to tell me what I could improve on. See you next chapter.**

 **P.S. There's a great comedy story on AO3 called Paper Crown. It's about DIO finding out about Giorno early and taking him home with him as he tries to be a fully-functioning father. More JoJo characters appear and hilarity ensues. Everyone should try it out if they haven't.**


	7. Settling In (Part 2)

Yoshikage was currently standing inside a clothing shop, flicking through various articles as he examined them. From an outside perspective, he appeared merely as any other shopper would, albeit dressed in an exercise tracksuit rather than regular clothing. In actuality, though, the blond man was stalking his newest set of prey.

From his position behind a clothing rack, he could just about see the pair of women he was tailing through the gaps between the various shirts while also remaining inconspicuous to bystanders. The two of them were browsing the skirt section, chatting to each other in high-pitched voices as they plunged their arms in to the sea of fabric at random intervals and pulled out something new each time.

"Hey, this one looks pretty nice!"

"Only you could describe something rainbow-patterned as nice."

Their conversation mattered nothing to him, though. The blond serial killer was focused on the grand prize he would soon reap. The taller one, fake-tanned skin and bleached hair proud staples of the ganguro style, reached up to fiddle with her hoop earrings as she spouted some rumour to her less attractive friend. Kira's breathing momentarily deepened as he bore witness to every flex of a finger, every twitch of a tendon and every contraction of a muscle. Yes, even this gossiping woman with an ugly heart had pure and beautiful hands.

This was always the most difficult part. The tension of being forced to wait patiently while his base instincts begged him to dive straight in was maddening. He could feel his heartbeat quicken and saliva get caught in his throat whenever he thought about the reward at the end of his trial, only making him more eager to give in. But he had to hold on; if he ever slipped and submitted to his own nature, then his entire quiet life would come to a tragic end.

* * *

Kira sat at a table outside of a café, nursing a cup of tea. Above him was a large umbrella, shielding him from the overbearing sun. Slowly raising it to his lips and taking a sip, he found that it had long since lost a fair deal of its original heat. Oh, well, it didn't matter. A hot drink was hardly his reason for being here.

His gaze was locked on a storefront a little further up the pavement, a jewellery shop this time. It was actually a place that Yoshikage knew fairly well, having visited the place in the past to pick up various items for his girlfriends. He had been tailing the two young women for just over an hour now, and had watched the two of them gleefully point out the veritable treasure trove that was the display case in the shop window. Simply following them in to such a small space without the proper attire would cause him to look suspicious and scare the two of them off, or even make them involve the police. That wasn't a risk he was prepared to take. So, in lieu of pursuing them further he had taken a seat at this café to simply wait them out until he could begin his hunt once more.

It wasn't much longer until they emerged. As he predicted, the number of bags each one carried had increased by a single small, pink paper bag, a symbol of their impulsive and thoughtless spending. Conversely, what he didn't expect was for a third member to have joined their party. The taller woman was currently hanging off the arm of a new arrival, a man who looked to be about in his mid-twenties. His jaw was covered in stubble, turning into what was almost a beard as it neared the chin, and he wore a cargo jacket and a baggy pair of navy-blue jeans. Shaggy blond hair sat atop his head and hung down just below his ears, with a few stray strands dangling in front of his admittedly unpleasant face. This must be the man that his target was manipulating. As the three of them spoke, they began walking away from his position and further up the street.

Kira's lips pursed together tightly. He hadn't foreseen this turn of events, and that was going to cost him. People disappearing wasn't that odd of an occurrence in the larger scheme of things, now more than ever since he had made this town his new home, and he could usually get away with disposing of even two lovers or close friends if he was smart about the place, timing and possible witnesses, which of course he always was. Three closely-linked people, though? That was a recipe for disaster. Though Killer Queen could undoubtedly kill a third person if it was needed, the authorities would consider so many people going missing in such a short timespan more than suspicious. Nothing would be traced back to him thanks to his Stand, but the police vigilance would increase drastically and make taking hands that much harder. His life would grow significantly more stressful, and stress was something he wouldn't tolerate.

No, there was no choice. Never more than two, that was his personal rule. Either he had to separate that intruding third wheel from his target, or give up the chase completely. Naturally, for the ever-tenacious Yoshikage Kira, there was only ever one option. Gently swirling the lukewarm liquid in his cup, he began to formulate a strategy.

A moment later, the corners of his lips curled upwards. Yes, that would do nicely. Drinking down the last remnants of tea in the cup, he stood up and prepared to enact his plan of action.

At least, he was about to until he saw two very specific people out of the corner of his eye.

Upon seeing them, he almost spat his drink all over the table. Walking down the street in his direction were Kimihito and Miia. The libidinous lamia had a somewhat reprimanding expression on her face as she looked back at her host, who in turn had the wide eyes cherry-red cheeks indicative of pure embarrassment.

Kira's jaw tightened. If they saw him, then they would undoubtedly try to strike up a conversation, perhaps even sit down for a coffee. His target would move out of his view and he would inevitably lose her, forced to return home empty-handed. He couldn't afford to do such a thing when his murderous nature was already this riled up. It would claw and tear at him until he satisfied his desires, and threaten to drag him into the depths of depression if he didn't. He had to conceal himself, now.

Thinking quickly, he grabbed the café's menu from the table and set it up in front of himself. Fortunately for him, the menu was quite tall and was able to cover his entire face so long as he slouched slightly. With his makeshift disguise complete, he assumed a low-profile position and waited for his neighbours to pass him by.

They never did, though. Instead, his ears were met with the sound of obnoxious jeering.

"What the hell is that?! Damn, what a freak! It called him darling!" Came the voice of the taller woman, sounding as if she could barely stop herself from collapsing to the ground in a laughing fit.

Peeking out over his hiding spot, Kira saw the three of them ridiculing the young man and his homestay. His target's finger pointed towards the two of them mockingly, and her shorter friend was busy wiping mirthful tears from her eyes.

"Oh, hell no! That is some _nasty_ business!" The man brought his hands to his hips as he doubled over from the laughter.

"Woah, that's disgusting! Doesn't that count as bestiality or something?!" The third wheel of the party added, hands on her cheeks.

Kira couldn't see their faces, but he figured that it was safe to assume they were as disdainful and insulting as their comments. One face he could see, though, was Miia's. A vein on the young woman's forehead was pulsing, and her facial muscles were twitching in rage. The long, red tail behind her had formed into a tight coil, and was constantly tensing and loosening. However, her eyes harboured the most hatred of all. The reptilian slits that were her pupils narrowed, growing savage and animalistic, and her golden irises clouded over with dark determination. For someone like him, that expression was instantly recognisable as malicious intent.

What happened next was a blur of motion. Miia's coiled tail suddenly unwrapped itself and shot forth with all the force and speed of a moving motorcycle, headed straight for the offending trio. For a moment, Kira's spirits actually rose in anticipation; he knew the basic details of the Cultural Exchange Bill, and was fully aware that if a non-human were to physically harm a human, they would be deported and never allowed back into the program again. If Miia truly did lose control of herself, then she would have no choice but to leave the country permanently. He would reclaim his quiet life and be free of that scarlet pest forever!

However, that hopefulness was replaced with shock as Kimihito actually jumped directly into the path of the flying mass of scale and muscle. It struck the side of his face with a resounding _crack_ and sent him flying backwards, where he landed on the ground about three feet away in a twitching, undignified heap.

"Oh no, Darling! Are you okay?!" The lamia exclaimed, mortified. She forgot her tormentors and rushed to the young man's side, shaking him in an increasingly desperate manner as she attempted to get a response. Kira couldn't lie, he was concerned at this point. To see the pleasant, mild-mannered neighbour he enjoyed the company of so much take such a powerful blow was worrying. Kimihito was no fighter, no athlete and certainly no Stand user, so his neighbour's damage tolerance was likely nowhere near his own. Something like a lamia's tail connecting with his face, even if said lamia was likely holding back, must have done serious damage. The poor boy could even have been given a concussion.

For the group of onlookers, though, it was just renewed their source of entertainment. "Did he just run into her tail on purpose?" The man questioned in between bouts of laughter, which were even more furious than before. All three of them looked halfway to falling to the ground in a pile of giggling bodies.

Kimihito's body began to shift as he pushed himself up on his forearms. He looked at his homestay and whispered something to her, though Kira couldn't hear what it was thanks to the distance and clamour between the two men. Miia seemed to pause in consideration of whatever it was that the young man on the ground said before giving him a nod of affirmation.

Before anything else could happen, though, a flash of light drew the attention of all parties involved. Looking towards its origin, Kira saw that the spectacle had attracted a crowd. Onlookers were stood in a circle around the liminal and her host, phones in hand as countless other flashes of cameras followed the first. Kira reflexively hunched down again to cover his face, instinctively trying to appear as bland and insignificant as possible to avoid their notice.

"So this is a monster."

"I've never seen one in person before…"

"Is that her boyfriend?"

The blond man gnawed his fingernails out of habit. What an awful turn of events, to be caught so close to the epicentre of such a drama. If even one of the degenerate pieces of crap so much as caught his face in one of their carelessly-taken photos then he would instantly be cemented as part scene, no matter how uninvolved he was. The possibility of even the short-lived fame of a viral photo struck terror into him and threatened the very foundation of his quiet life. With the number of people crowding here, his visage was bound to be captured on a phone at some point.

His furious biting continued far past the point of reason, new spots of blood appearing in place of the only recently-closed wounds from earlier. History truly was repeating itself, wasn't it? His quiet life was being torn down around him, both by Stand users and random chance, and now he was truly cornered for a second time. Except this time, there was no Bites The Dust to save him. There was nothing he could do, he couldn't escape this…

Just as he was about to do something drastic, fortune gifted him with a lucky break. In an attempt to escape, both host and homestay forced their way through the sea of bodies and took off up the pavement away from him. The pounding of Kimihito's footfalls contrasted with the rasping of Miia's undulating tail as they fled the scene, both sounds getting quieter and quieter with each bit of distance gained. Not wanting to miss a such a golden opportunity, the band of gawkers moved as if by hive mind and hastily pursued the pair, the vibrations of their combined steps causing the umbrella above Yoshikage's head to shake and rattle slightly. And, just, like that, it was over, the only ones left being him and the original trio.

"Well, that was something else." The male remarked, scratching his head through his messy head of blond hair.

"Yeah, it was pretty funny! Did you see how quickly they ran at the end there?" The tall one wrapped her arm around his and asked him.

"That part was golden, Goddamn. Wanna follow them some more?" His girlfriend shook her head at the offer.

"Nah, you'd have to be some sort of super-retard to run around in weather like this. Let's just pick up where we left off." With that, the three of them resumed their leisurely stroll through the town, chatting and giggling all the way.

Kira was speechless, his jaw hanging slightly open. The corners of his lips curled upwards victoriously as he began to chuckle to himself. He could hardly believe it, but luck came through for him once again. Fate dealt him a winning hand and left him off exactly where he had started before the whole mess with Miia and Kimihito, allowing him to resume his chase in peace. Even better, he was certain that he had escaped the notice of both his neighbours and the onlookers' flashing lenses.

Still with that smirk on his face, he lifted himself up from his seat, adjusted his jacket and began following his target once more. The chase wasn't over just yet.

* * *

Yoshikage followed them around for another few hours. Strategically moving just out of their view and hiding in plain sight, he managed to completely evade their notice as he patiently observed them. As expected, that time mostly consisted of the taller woman persuading her boyfriend to buy her copious amounts of overpriced jewellery, something to which the deluded man predictably complied with open arms. He might have even felt the slightest hint of sympathy towards the man were it not for the fact that he had nearly ruined his precious anonymity earlier.

At some point they had said goodbye to the shorter woman, waving as she walked through the door of a rather small apartment above a store that appeared to be some sort of salon. From there Kira had continued tailing the now-lone pair at a safe distance as they travelled throughout the commercial district, waiting for them to go somewhere sufficiently secluded. Unfortunately for him, he wasn't having much success. There were far too many people around and it was still light out, plus all of the stores they entered were either too small for him to avoid notice or had security cameras. It was maddening, but if he was to be successful he would either have to wait until dark or until an opportunity presented itself. Soon enough, it did.

Blending in to his surroundings with practised effectiveness, Kira watched the two of them turn down a large alleyway, looking so out of place that it seemed as though an unknown force had somehow made whatever building originally stood there disappear. Eyes quickly darting left and right to confirm that he wasn't being watched, he crossed the road and followed their path in the most casual manner that he could muster, which, being the incredible actor that he was, turned out to be highly convincing.

As he approached the opening, he abruptly halted mid-pursuit as he noticed a pair of dark blue vans parked further up the pavement. Although he couldn't see the writing on their sides on account of the angle he was standing at, it didn't take him long to deduce that these were official vehicles of the Cultural Exchange. The shotgun-wielding figure clad in dark blue body armour which clearly read ' _CULTURAL EXCHANGE SECURITY SQUAD'_ in bold white lettering on the front was, after all, a dead giveaway. He apparently hadn't been noticed yet, as the police officer seemed to be preoccupied with the walkie-talkie he held up to his ear.

The serial killer's eyes narrowed as a tiny bead of sweat appeared on his cheek. This made things considerably more difficult. If the exchange was here then that meant some liminal had gotten themselves into trouble nearby, and knowing his love-hate relationship with luck it would be the very building he intended to enter. They might not be after him per se, but any screaming from the couple he intended to murder would definitely attract the attention of the armed police officers that were most certainly inside. Not that he couldn't simply kill them, but so many deaths would create a scare around town and reveal the supernatural. That would undoubtedly attract the attention of any allies the Stand user from a month ago, Vino, might have had. If he wanted any chance of victory, then he had to avoid the police like the plague.

That was easier said than done, though. For all his stealth, Kira had never actually snuck through an area filled with police. In the past his aptitude for leaving a crime scene completely without any leads back to him had proved potent enough that he never had to actually come into contact with law enforcement out for his blood, and gaining Killer Queen had only added to his effectiveness. This would mark the first time that he would have to make it past the law themselves. First on the list was the officer on his walkie-talkie. For this to work, he couldn't be seen entering or exiting by anyone.

Quickly forming a solution in his mind, Kira summoned just the right arm of Killer Queen. The pink and black limb reached down to the ground and picked up a loose piece of gravel, about the size of a ball bearing. Loading it between the thumb and index finger, the Stand user took careful aim before firing it through the air as an improvised bullet. Just as he had hoped, the stone lodged itself in the side of the walkie-talkie without its owner's notice. Now for the second part of his plan.

Killer Queen's thumb came down on its curled forefinger and set off a tiny explosion. The projectile he just launched burst into a tiny cloud of flames. Not long after, the radio began to emit sparks and smoke, startling the agent holding it. In his shock he dropped it to the pavement where it broke apart into so many plastic pieces. The man looked around wildly, then back to the smoking pile of parts on the ground before him, confusion evident in what parts of his face were visible through the riot helmet.

Taking his opportunity, Kira dashed forward with speed uncharacteristic of a salaryman such as himself and pushed his back up against the adjacent alley wall, hiding outside of the officer's view. Satisfied that he had made it across undetected, he turned on the ball of his foot to walk towards whatever building his prey had taken shelter in, and it was at that moment that he nearly tripped over his own feet as he got his first look at his destination.

The moment he laid eyes upon the establishment, his heart sank that much further into his stomach. At the end of the alleyway, sunk all the way back, stood a building with a flashing sign above the entrance that said _Hotel Loveless_ in pink neon lights.

The blond serial killer immediately blanched. A love hotel, of all places? Degenerate cesspools like this were the types of places he hated the most in society. If he were to walk in, he would immediately stick out on account of his attire and lack of a partner. However, that didn't even begin to compare to what laid beyond the reception area. The thought of all their foul, unwashed bodies inhabiting every room and fucking like disease-ridden animals made bile rise in his throat. To think, he would actually have to go inside such a putrid hive of scum, to be forced to walk among their filth…

There was too much at stake here already. Maybe he should just quit now and save himself the trouble.

A moment later, his gaze once again hardened with new resolve as he banished the cloud of weakness that had temporarily overcome him. No. He wouldn't quit. His inner nature was already raging under the surface-deep outer layer of collected calmness, begging to run wild on that black-hearted woman. There was no way he could give up the chase at this point. He would sneak inside, evade the law and finally claim his prize.

Kira stealthily moved through the alley, eventually reaching the front of the building. He wasted no time in hiding just behind the doorframe of the glass doors, less than eager to be seen at such an establishment and possibly have his identity exposed. The sound of talking could be heard within the hotel's walls, but Kira couldn't hear any of it. Taking the alternative route, Kira materialised Killer Queen by his side yet again.

Using the piercing feline slits that were his Stand's eyes to peer through the glass, Kira could see both the man and the woman standing at the reception desk, likely asking about getting a room. The receptionist handed the couple a key and nodded brightly to them, a gesture that they returned enthusiastically as they proceeded towards an elevator on the other side of the room.

From his hiding place, Kira couldn't help but smile. This was going smoothly so far. All he had to do now was follow the two of them to their room, take their lives and leave the way he came. There was the unavoidable issue of being seen by the staff or, even worse, the police, but he was certain that distracting a few witnesses would be a trivial affair. His plans had finally come together nicely, and he would be more than happy to reap the rewards of all his patience and hard work.

Of course, all of thoughts of plans and rewards were forgotten when he saw who walked out of the elevator next.

Two thick steel doors slid apart, revealing none other than Kimihito and Miia, plus another figure that he soon recognised as Smith in a yellow and black suit of body armour.

Kira's face was the image of disbelief, his eyes bulging and teeth clenched like a pair of vices. He couldn't believe what his Stand was seeing. This was unreal! _Those two_ were the ones that the Exchange was here for? It wasn't enough that Miia had to constantly ruin his sleep schedule and draw stress into his life, so now the bitch had to intrude on his pursuit, the one time where he could truly reveal his true nature to someone else?

' _How terrible.'_ Thought Kira, his fingers squeezing the rough wall next to him so hard that he began to tear his own flesh open with the pressure. ' _I, Yoshikage Kira, just want to live a quiet life. I've never gone out of my way to inconvenience anyone, yet I myself am inconvenienced at every turn? Luck is always on my side, so why is this happening to me?!'_

Beyond the building's entrance, a fresh conflict was brewing. Upon catching sight of the bashful-looking lamia, the couple Yoshikage had been stalking suddenly burst into hysterics.

"The hell?! That snake and her boyfriend were in this love hotel?" The male pointed at the liminal and young man as he fished around in his pocket, likely for a phone. His voice was muffled by the barrier between him and Kira's ears, but still loud enough for him to make out the words fairly accurately.

"Damn, that's nasty as all hell!" The woman added as her ridiculous hairstyle bobbed up and down from her laughter.

Kira knew that his pursuit was over then and there. Knowing Smith's position of power and her tendency to use it whenever she could, she would likely find an excuse to bring the rude couple in for a stern talking-to. Even with his Stand, there was no possible method for him to break into a police station undetected. He would be forced to return home empty-handed and lament his first failure at murder. As he saw it, the chase was over and he had lost. However, it seemed fate still had one last surprise left in store for him.

While the racist couple were busy laughing, Killer Queen's eyes detected a sudden burst of movement. The Stand shifted its gaze and saw Kimihito marching towards them. This time, though, he wasn't the amicable neighbour Kira had grown too like so much. In his eyes burned a flaming, passionate rage that spilled out of him, wreathing him in an aura of determination that allowed even the mild-mannered twenty-two-year-old command the imposing, undeniable presence of a giant. Then, he punched.

Kimihito's balled fist hurtled forward and landed dead-centre in the punk's face, knocking him backwards into his girlfriend. The older man staggered backwards, flying headfirst into the window just beside where Yoshikage was concealed and sliding down comically until finally ending up as an unconscious tangle of limbs on the floor. Below him, the still-conscious woman struggled to move the dead weight on top of her.

Right there, Kira finally decided that it was time to leave. The man getting injured was the final nail in his plan's coffin. Smith would most likely keep them for questioning, thus protecting his target behind a wall of armed police officers, concrete walls and security cameras, something even Killer Queen likely couldn't overcome. Even if that didn't happen, the man would need medical attention and probably get taken to the local hospital to get checked for any serious damage. The woman would certainly remain by his side in both scenarios, resulting in her being surrounded by people and leaving him with no choice but to give up or get caught.

A magenta aura materialised around Kira's body, coalescing into the black-booted legs of his Stand which wrapped around his own like armour. Using the catlike spirit's immense strength he launched himself into the air, where he soared upwards until slowing and coming to a stop at the roof of the hotel. Killer Queen then pulled the two of them up over the ledge and onto solid concrete.

"Well, that was a disappointment." Kira sighed dejectedly to himself, peering over the edge with detached interest and observing as various people exited the building, Miia and Kimihito among them. "Ah, well, I suppose today wasn't a total bust. There's still one place I can go."

* * *

 _-A few hours later-_

Kira walked into his living room in a crisp white dressing gown, a towel still wrapped around his head. He had just taken a calming bath to cool off after such a stressful day. Just being in the general vicinity of that love hotel made him cringe, so taking a long soak in a mineral bath was just what he needed. Now, he finally felt clean and relaxed again.

"Ah, that feels so much better." Kira smiled contentedly, adjusting his towel. "I hope you didn't get bored while I was gone." He called across the empty room.

He sauntered across the room towards the sofa, an elegant thing coloured white and covered with leather, and stopped just behind it. He placed his hands on the back cushion and steadily leaned over the top, getting further and further by the second. Eventually he had completely bent over, revealing the single disembodied hand that sat atop a plump-looking cushion.

"I'm sorry for leaving you like that, by the way. I realise how you must feel about that." He moved around to the other side of the sofa, settling down beside the limb. "It wasn't like I could let you come into the bath with me, though. I mean, we haven't even known each other for a day yet. Something like that would be far too improper, wouldn't it?"

As he said that, Kira thought back to when he had first brought his new girlfriend home. After leaving the scene of the love hotel, Kira retraced his steps and ended up back at the salon where his original target's friend lived. Upon meeting her, she had turned out to be incredibly irritating. She tried attacking him with a crowbar and, when that didn't work, merely fell to the ground sobbing and begging to be spared. She didn't even bother telling him her name, a piece of information that he had had to find out by searching her purse for her driver's license. All in all it was an unpleasant affair, but it had turned out fine in the end. He was sat here, safe in his home with a new girlfriend, and that was what really mattered.

Kira took the TV remote and clicked the power button. While he waited for the device to warm up, his eardrum was tickled by a vibrating hum from outside. Straining his hearing, the salaryman quickly identified the sound as a vehicle pulling up onto the pavement. Forcing his body up from the seat, he decided to push aside the curtains and take a peek at the outside world to see who was causing so much racket.

The first thing he noticed upon sky above was dyed a soft blend of orange and purple by the setting sun, casting pleasant hues across his street. Quickly moving on from that, his eyes settled on the offending sound's origin. In front of the Kurusu property was a Cultural Exchange van, the lights still on. Before he could wonder just what was happening this time, the back doors swung open and revealed an exhausted-looking Kimihito and Miia, plus Smith who simply seemed distantly amused at the entire situation. The host and homestay stumbled out of the van and dragged their bodies towards the front door, and upon closer inspection Kira could see his neighbour cradling the hand he had used to punch the blond man with earlier.

"So _that's_ where they've been…" Kira murmured under his breath. To be frank, he was beginning to wonder where his neighbour and his troublesome housemate had gotten off to. A better question would have been what they had been doing in a love hotel in the first place, but that wasn't something Kira particularly cared about.

"That's that question answered, I suppose." He said as he drew the curtains again. He turned back to face the hand on the sofa, a pleasant smile forming on his face. "Now, with that out of the way, where were we?" Letting his weight collapse onto the sofa once more, Kira got comfortable and prepared himself for the thing he had been craving for so long: a quiet night in with his girlfriend.

* * *

 _-Halfway across town-_

Less-than-savoury sounds echoed across backstreets of the town as night grew closer. Guttural shouts could be heard from the dilapidated maze of shadowy alleyways that made up the area, and a rancid miasma hung in the air like an almost-palpable embodiment of the residents' degeneracy. This place was home to the homeless and predatory street gangs, a dog-eat-dog world where one could only trust themselves and a companion was just as likely to rob their friend as they were to strike up an idle chat.

In one particularly waterlogged alley, left that way thanks to a recent rain shower coupled with neglected drainage systems, a man dressed in orange was currently jumping around like something not wise as he attempted to dodge various pools of stagnant water.

Try as he might, Fusilli couldn't prevent his precious trainers from getting waterlogged. Even the most dexterous attempts at tiptoeing between relatively dry spots of concrete like hopscotch couldn't keep them completely dry, and with every step the squelching of soaked socks became more and more prominent. The finishing blow was finally dealt when he miscalculated one of his landings and ended up with both feet right in the middle of a massive puddle, leaving the once-pristine footwear completely saturated with dirty water.

"Oh, for the love of God." The orange-haired man groaned, mostly to himself. "And these were brand fucking new, as well."

Resigning himself to his fate, he stopped trying to dodge the various puddles and instead trudged through them until he reached the safe house, grumbling under his breath the entire way. "Why we were ever given this place, I'll never fucking understand. Like living in a damn sewer."

Once he had reached the rusted door at the end of the alleyway, Fusilli sighed as he contemplated just what the two of them had deserved (aside from all the torture and murder, of course) to end up in a place like this. One would think that such a powerful crime organisation would give its men better lodgings, but judging by the run-down building that was currently passing as his new base of operations, apparently not. He raised his fist and brought it down to knock.

Without warning, his hand was stopped in its tracks when a claw shot out from the oxidised metal and took hold of his wrist with an iron grip. The extremity was almost skeletal, and made up of numerous branching spikes intertwining with each other like an overgrown patch of brambles. It's surface shared both the texture and rusted colour of the door and grated upon the man's wrist abrasively. Upon closer inspection, one would see that the hand and the door were actually two parts of the same object, the metal itself having actually morphed into that shape. Its cold grasp was vice-like, preventing him from both advancing and pulling away.

"Identify yourself and give the password." Came a firm voice from behind the door. The barrier between them muffled it slightly, but even then the venom in the words was unmistakeable. Whoever was behind the door meant business, and would have terrified anyone else. As it was, though, the orange-haired man just sighed again.

"Ala, I'm not in the mood for this, please just open the door." He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand, trying not to lose his temper with his admittedly difficult partner. After all, it wasn't her fault his shoes were ruined.

There was a silence for a couple of seconds where nothing moved. Then, the limb's grip released and it slowly retracted, ripples travelling through the metal of the door as it warped back into its original shape. Fusilli shook his head as he watched the weird spectacle unfold; no matter how many times he saw it, observing the way his partner's Stand affected objects was always a somewhat of a psychedelic experience.

There was the sound of fumbling from within the building and a metallic click. The door creaked open on neglected hinges, the offensive noise echoing throughout the alley, revealing an interior filled with darkness. Whatever illumination the failing daylight provided wasn't even enough to penetrate even a foot into the room, and Fusilli couldn't help but feel as if he was staring into the abyss itself. Taking a deep breath, he walked inside.

The moment his foot crossed the threshold, his eyes were assaulted by blinding light as a large central light on the ceiling sparked to life.

"Ah, Christ!" He exclaimed, rubbing his eyes to combat the spots in his vision. The explosion of brightness was instant and unrelenting to his eyes, acclimated to the darkness as they were, and he could already feel already a pounding headache creeping up on him.

"Calm down, you infant. You've suffered through much worse than this." He heard a woman speak from his left as the door closed behind him.

Turning his head, Fusilli noticed a cloaked figure figure hunched over on a plastic chair, their form hidden beneath the heavy brown cloak they wore. Their left arm rested on a wooden table beside them, upon which stood a small reading light and a single book. The only visible part of their body was the familiar chitinous plate of a lower jaw that he had grown used to over the years. He let out a small, yet long-suffering sigh.

"Was that really necessary? My head is throbbing…" He groaned, now massaging his temples. Only Ala would be so theatric.

He didn't receive an answer. Instead, his partner merely pushed herself up from her seat and moved towards another door on the far side of the room. Turning the decades-old knob, the door squeaked feebly as she pushed it open, revealing an antiquated winding staircase.

"Alright, so what was so important that you had to tear me from my lunch? I was really hoping to get one of those St Lady sandwiches, I've heard they're some of the best on offer." He rubbed his stomach longingly, having had to settle for some cheap and unfulfilling fast food on his way here instead

There was no response for that, either. Ala motioned to the passage with her cloth-covered arm. "Up here is a survivor of the Lakeside fire who also happens to be a Stand user. I've been guarding this entrance since I arrived. The head operative left orders to interrogate him for any information he might have."

"Wow, instructions from Latte himself?" His voice trailed off as he marvelled at this outcome. Usually the team took their orders from the underboss, going long periods without hearing from their leader unless something incredibly important happened. Sure, he wasn't ranked as highly, but getting word from him was a far rarer occurrence. "Have you met this guy yet?"

"Like I said, I've been guarding that room since I arrived like the orders specified." She said. With that, she turned and began to ascend the stairs.

Fusilli brought a palm up to his forehead, shaking it wearily as he took off after her. She always took things far too literally, case in point being apparently not leaving this room for more than a day. Sometimes he was certain that there was something wrong with her.

The two of them walked up the steps together in silence, the odd-haired man going at a leisurely pace while his partner took purposeful strides. Just as he expected, the place was terribly run down. The paint on the walls was chipped and mottled with incredible age, and the only sources of illumination to speak of were failing bulbs embedded in the walls at regular intervals. Breathing was hard, what with the stale air and abundance of dust. Every new floor revealed some fresh spectacle, be it a group of massive rats feasting on the corpse of one of their own, a hole in the brickwork exposing rusted iron piping or even a massive patch of mould that he swore moved while he wasn't looking. In an attempt to distract himself from this public health nightmare, he decided to strike up a conversation with the woman in front of him.

"By the way, I've been meaning to ask you something." Fusilli began, his words in rhythm with his strides. They were quite a few floors up now. "Why did you leave me such cryptic directions to this place? I spent nine whole hours getting here from your first message. Nine hours!" He flailed his arms in the air before him as if to stress his point. "It's not even an important building, and it isn't like there's much competition to hide from. The gangs here barely even deserve that name, and there was less secrecy in China of all places."

Ala turned her head and stared at him out of the depths of her cowl. "Those weren't mine. The head operative said that if there's an unknown enemy Stand user, then its best that we take extra precautions with everything. I was following my orders." She told him matter-of-factly. The armoured yellow jaw then twitched in her version of a smirk, most likely of the condescending variety. "Besides, I followed the exact same directions yesterday and got here in a fraction of the time. You need to get faster, or you'll end up holding both of us up."

"Oh, I apologise profusely if my meagre human form at all inconveniences you." He drawled, voice thick with sarcasm. "Unfortunately, some people weren't born with wings."

He would have said more, but noticed the sound of his partner's footsteps had stopped. Before them on the nineteenth level was yet another door, though this one was far different from the rest. Instead of chipped paint and splintering wood, this door appeared to be made of thick metal, glossy and incredibly out of place in the rest of the dilapidated building. Long ago he would have wondered how this had even got here on such short notice, but by now he was far past the point of questioning Passione's methods. It was easier on the brain that way.

"We're here, open the door." Ala spoke into the cracks in the doorframe. Immediately a startled and slightly muffled cry sounded out from behind the barrier. Frantic footsteps could be heard getting closer until they reached the door, followed by the jangling of what Fusilli assumed was an impressive assortment of locks and chains. With a final loud click of a locking mechanism being opened, the entrance gradually opened outwards to reveal a short, timid-looking man.

"A-Ah, good, you're finally here. Let's begin, shall we?"

 **-To be continued in chapter 8: Of Centaurs And Harpies-**

* * *

 **Well, that's that out of the way. This chapter had quite a bit of thought put into it and went through a few revisions, so I'm glad to finally get it completed. Also, I'm going to be toning down the physical feats (punching strength, durability, etc.) of Kimihito and other humans to normal/believable levels since this story is meant to be more serious than MonMusu itself is. That's why he didn't end up launching the two people at the end like he did in the manga/anime, instead simply punching the guy really hard and making him fall down.**

 **On a more important note, I won't be updating this story for a short while. Instead, I'm going to be writing a short story about Diavolo that should be around 10 to 15 thousand words in length. I hope that doesn't annoy anyone.**

 **As always, please leave a review and please give me constructive criticism. I want to get better, and the best way I can do that is by having you guys tell me what I've done well and what needs improving.**


	8. Of Centaurs And Harpies (Part 1)

**Hi, everyone. Sorry this took so long to get out, I've been doing things in the real world that have taken my attention. Please enjoy.**

* * *

Low rumbling could be heard throughout the open-plan space that was Kira's lounge, kitchen and dining room all at once. It was originating from a sleek electric kettle, which was currently shaking erratically on the countertop. A few feet to the left, its owner was currently adding powdered tea to a strainer with a spoon.

Allowing himself to be drawn in by the ambient noise of the kettle, Kira's actions became sluggish and his eyes went unfocused as he reflected on the events from earlier today. He was particularly fixated on the drama when he first encountered his neighbours out on a stroll and barely managed to remain unseen throughout the ordeal. Grimacing, he thought back to how he had almost been caught on camera. He wasn't concerned about the concept of being in the background of a video on the internet in itself - although he wasn't particularly fond of the notion either - but rather the people who would end up seeing it, namely Kimihito, Miia and, worst of all, Smith. Were his face to make it online and be seen by those three who would undoubtedly end up seeing it themselves, then it would mean no end of trouble. Kimihito and Miia would feel intensely betrayed at his inaction, and Smith would become even more dedicated to antagonising him at every opportunity.

However, all of that wouldn't have mattered in the slightest if it wasn't for one single, crucial detail. It was a factor that completely changed the way that he would have gone about his new life, and felt like a piece of his very being had been torn out and cast into a deep abyss from which there was no hope of retrieving it.

He couldn't activate Bites The Dust.

Ever since he had arrived in this world, Killer Queen's ultimate ability had been locked away from him. It wasn't like trying to release Sheer Heart Attack when it was already deployed or making a second primary bomb, either; he knew they weren't gone, just unavailable. This time he couldn't feel the reality-bending power within his soul anymore, as if it had never existed in the first place. The first time he had actually realised this was when he was wiping out the crime syndicate that helped him get situated, when one of his victims had escaped from the scene of the massacre. At first he just shrugged his shoulders thinking that he could just turn back time to prevent his secret getting out, but was then horrified to discover that no matter what he tried, he couldn't place Bites The Dust on any of the remaining survivors. After that, it had been a frantic chase in which he had only barely managed to catch up with the escapee and silence him.

Ever since then, it had become clear to Kira that there would no longer be an easy way out if he made a mistake. He would have to revert back to his old tactics of being as stealthy as humanly possible and taking no chances. Otherwise, his way of life would most certainly come to an unpleasant end.

At that moment, Kira realised he'd been forgetting something and turned his head to the left. "Oh, sorry. I must have been daydreaming for a while there." A smile played across his lips as he looked at the severed hand resting on the counter, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Please, excuse my bad manners."

He reached across and picked up the body part lovingly, cradling it in both of his hands. "So, how much sugar do you like with your tea?" He gave the hand a quick flex and, almost lifelike, the severed limb briefly shot up two fingers before flopping back down inanimate.

"Two whole teaspoons? That's an awful lot, you greedy girl," chuckled the blond. He lifted a small silver pot out of the spice rack on his wall and unscrewed its cap, revealing a stockpile of sugar packed almost to the brim. It made sense, he supposed, since he tended not to take sugar on account of the possible negative effects to both his physical and mental health. Unless, of course, it was a special occasion, like right now.

"You're lucky you're so endearing," he added before scooping the agreed amount into the porcelain mug. At this point his hot water was almost ready, the kettle having reached the height of its fitful rocking. After a few more seconds it emitted a high-pitched beep before the rumbling began to slow and eventually fade altogether.

As he prepared his beverage in the new silence, Kira realised that was exactly what it was: _silence_. Thanks to the lack of any background noise, the salaryman observed a significant lack of noise from the dwelling just across the road.

The Kurusu household was, at this time of the evening, usually the origin of at least some amount of clamour thanks to the resident lamia's libidinous suggestions and her homestay's prudishness forming a volatile combination. Tonight, however, appeared to be different, for not one embarrassed cry or dull thud could be heard through Yoshikage's open windows. He contemplated whether this was because the day's events had had some sort of effect on Miia's emotional state, causing her to become somewhat more withdrawn than usual. With any luck that meant he could actually get a good night's rest.

Speaking of a good night's rest, Kira's eyes drifted away from the now-complete cup of tea and over to a clock hung on the kitchen wall. It was a stylish thing, with a glossy black surface that contrasted with the silvery numbers dotting its perimeter. Hands of the same silver extended outwards from the centre and tapered to sharp tips that were currently pointing towards a rather surprising set of numbers.

"Already 10:30…" he mumbled, eyes fixed on the second hand's smooth glide around the clock face. He honestly had no idea that it had gotten so late. He must have been so occupied with his new girlfriend that the passage of so much time completely escaped his notice.

Kira turned his gaze back to the limb he currently held. "Well, it looks like time's run away with us. Were just going to have to drink a little more quickly, won't we?" With that, the serial killer balanced his cup on a small plate and set a course for his bedroom, hand in hand with his girlfriend the entire way.

"Hm, what? Oh, I haven't told you about my nightly routine yet. Well you see, before I go to bed I do around twenty minutes of stretches…"

* * *

Kira put his key into the lock and turned it clockwise, then pushed the door open and stepped out into his backyard dressed in his casual wear. It was a beautiful new day, and the mid-morning sunshine bathed the whole space in an air of peacefulness.

He was currently standing on a well-built patio made from red planks of wood, a handrail of the same material running along its edge so as to prevent any accidental falls. Down a set of broad wooden steps was a paved pathway that lead to the rest of his yard.

From his elevated position he had an unobstructed view. Easily the most attention-grabbing part was the pond at the far end of the plot, complete with a fountain in the middle. Small lily pads dotted its surface, pond skaters darting between them. Rather than grass (as that could cause his allergies to act up, and that wouldn't be good for his peace of mind at all), his entire garden was covered in small, pale-yellow stones that made it seem like he was stranded amidst a stone ocean. The setts before him split off into two separate paths, one leading to a circular area of flagstones upon which sat a table and chairs. He often sat out there in the evenings, just listening to the noises of the world going by.

The other route took him to the garage, and that was the one he elected to take. His leather shoes' soles made a pleasant clacking noise upon impact with the stone, making the only sound in the relatively silent space save for a couple of birds of a telephone wire some distance away.

Once he had come to the garage's back entrance, Kira undid the second lock of the day. Pushing the door open, he flicked a switch to his left and bathed the dark space inside with light. Before him was the spacious white car he had owned for about half a year, having bought it with stolen money just after moving into his house. It wasn't a particularly lavish or expensive thing, of course, having been priced at a generous one million yen, but it was reliable and efficient. Aiming his car key at the door, he pushed the circular button on top, unlocking the car, and climbed inside. A moment later and he was driving down the street, absent-mindedly fiddling with the radio as he searched for a good song. It was a rather beat-up device, some of the buttons unresponsive and barely able to pick up a signal. Well, he had only himself and a previous girlfriend to thank for that. Last time he forgets to empty all of the blood out.

Today was a Saturday, and thus the day that Kira set aside for grocery shopping. Armed with a wallet and a piece of notepad paper packed with the names of various products, the blond businessman was prepared for an uneventful and generally pleasant shopping trip. He'd go out, go to the store, pick up all the items his list specified, pay at the checkout and go home, and nothing else. He was confident, no, _positive_ that, after all the stress-inducing weirdness that had been plaguing him as of late, he was bound to have a nice, quiet shopping experience. He _would_ have a nice, quiet shopping experience and not a single thing was going to stop him.

At last, the radio found a clear signal and began to speak to him. He smiled, though he kept his eyes on the road. Good, maybe this ride wouldn't be spent in silence after all.

" _Today on local news, rumours of reforms in the Interspecies exchange bill..._ "

* * *

Kira manoeuvred his carrier bag-laden body through the ever-shifting maze of people he found himself in. Plastic bags hung from his arms and swayed with each and every movement, not to mention how they greatly decreased the amount of space he had to work with. Each bag was packed with the food, toiletries and other essentials he'd need in the coming weeks, so they were bulky, unwieldy and made avoiding scratching people's faces a fairly difficult endeavour. Most people would have just taken a shopping cart, but the idea of putting his hands on such a filthy thing made him shudder. With his physique it wasn't hard on him anyway, just awkward.

He had parked his car around a corner at the furthest end of the park where few people usually went. Of course there was a reason for this, namely that Kira wanted to keep his car as far away from other people as possible so as to avoid any stress-inducing accidents. The only downside was that, since it was a weekend, the car park was particularly full, meaning that many people were doing their shopping today, the crowd he had to deal with was immense.

To make matters worse, the walkway between him and his car was absolutely minuscule, barely eight feet across in width. Combining these facts meant that Kira had to make his way through the sea of cars and bodies without bashing them with a sack of groceries. The fact that the supermarket had gotten away with having such an inadequate walkway - not to mention having neglected to make one in the first place - was baffling, and Kira could feel the urge to blow something up out of sheer frustration tugging at his mind. The only reason he even came to this ass-backwards establishment was because his job was at an office branch of the same company that owned it so he got a decent discount, otherwise he would have swapped to the local market long ago.

Before he could continue his internal grousing, however, the blond man was distracted by an odd noise coming from his right as he turned a corner. By the time he noticed, it was too late.

The moment he was out in the open, something moving at incredible speeds hurtled forth and smashed straight into Kira's side, forcing all of the air from his lungs and sending him tumbling to the ground in an undignified heap as the back of his head struck the ground below. The many bags flew from his grip, opening mid-air and sending a cascade of household essentials raining down around him.

His eyes had squeezed shut during the fall, mainly a reflexive action brought on by the sudden burst of pain. Ignoring the hot throbbing on his skull and prying his eyelids open, the first thing Yoshikage noticed was the fact that he still couldn't see.

Rather than looking up into an azure summer sky dotted with the occasional cloud, he was faced with some kind of fluffy barrier barely an inch from his face. Since the sun was hidden behind the mystery object there wasn't much light for him to see with, but he was fairly certain that it was light blue in colouration. He couldn't be too sure of the material, but the feeling of it gently rubbing against the tip of his nose told him that, whatever it was, it was incredibly soft and had a smell that was vaguely reminiscent of seeds and honey. Then, it began to move.

He felt the velvety surface lift from his face as his skin was exposed to the faint gusts of open air once more, almost as if he had just taken off a mask. As whatever the object was moved away from him, it began to take a more distinct shape. Multiple slightly pointed ends in so many carefully-arranged rows became visible as they moved into his view, and it wasn't long before Kira was able to identify them as stiff, blue flight feathers not unlike those of a bluebird. That wasn't the strange part, though.

No, the thing that caught Kira's attention was how incredibly huge they were. Despite being similar in appearance to the flight feathers of a small bird, each one was massive, with the longest easily exceeding a metre in length without even considering the extra length granted by the similarly massive arm, some of which was still outside his field of vision. Kira started to wonder how such an enormous avian could possibly fly in the first place.

"Ouch… That stings…" a feminine voice whimpered from beside him. She sounded rather young, probably in her early teenage years, and more than a little beat up. Having been pulled back to reality by the pained groaning, Kira rolled his head onto its side and looked towards the source of the noise, his eyes following the feathered limb up to the creature's body. What he saw filled him with dread.

Laying on the cold ground not three feet from him was in fact not a giant bird, but rather a young woman. Actually, she looked more like she was about fourteen. Her face, screwed up in discomfort, was framed by a messy head of neck-length hair the same shade as the feathers on her arms. Her frame was skinny, and Kira was easily able to make out the skeletal structure beneath her skin which was mostly uncovered save for a meagre black top and beige shorts that let her just barely pass as acceptable. The last feature Kira took in were her legs, covered in pale yellow scales and ending in wicked-looking talons almost as long as his entire hand. Kira couldn't help but grimace at the sight of them, thanking his ever-impeccable luck that he hadn't been impaled on their tips.

Focusing back on her face, Yoshikage found that she had finally taken notice of his presence. His eyes locked with hers, deep amber like pools of honey staring back at him. Her head tilted as she gave him a quizzical look, before directing her gaze down towards the blond man's torso.

"Hey, mister, what's that in your pocket?" asked the girl, pointing towards his jacket's pocket with her wing which he now noticed had a kind of thumb on the end tipped with a small claw.

Kira was caught off-guard by so many things about that sentence, among them being the childlike innocence in her tone, the way she near instantaneously switched between loud groaning and simple-minded curiosity, and the complete disregard for the situation they found themselves in. That, though, was nothing compared to the dread he felt when the liminal girl pointed to his coat pocket, he himself fully aware of what was inside. Tilting his head downwards to the object of the girl's interest, his fears were confirmed when he saw the tips of his girlfriend's fingers poking out of his jacket.

To say this revelation had left Kira completely and utterly shell-shocked would be a gross understatement. He knew it, fate truly had cast him aside. This horrendous series of events over the past month left him worse than exhausted, and after doing everything possible to survive stroke of bad luck after stroke of bad luck, he had finally been cornered with no way out. He was in a public area with dozens of onlookers staring at him as if he was some sort of spectacle, and this winged beast would no doubt fly off before he could amend his mistake. No, there was no combination of words in this language or any other that could describe the roaring emotional cocktail of anguish and hopelessness that had clutched his very soul.

"Come back here, in the name of the Cultural Exchange!"

"Stop, dammit!"

The introduction of two new voices and a lot of footfalls attracted the attention of everybody in the area, their heads twisting towards the fresh arrivals to this train wreck. Kira saw his chance and took it, quickly stuffing the hand back into the depths of his jacket where it couldn't be seen.

The bird girl seemed to have similar ideas. Not a second after the appearance of the new voices, she shot up from the ground and, in one powerful flap of her wings, took off into the sky, sending a gust of wind out beneath her that ruffled Yoshikage's perfectly-combed locks. Within moments she had disappeared over the top of a building and out of sight.

With one annoyance gone, Kira's attention was back on the fast-approaching footsteps. Before long their owners burst through the mass of bodies and stopped barely short of his form, unveiling the oddest set of police that he had ever seen.

Before him stood three women, two of which were very obviously not human. The tallest one towered over even him, standing almost eight feet tall, and had a long black horn protruding from her forehead. Next to her stood a shorter woman with crimson hair and a large stitched line running across the middle of her face, joining up pieces of skin that looked like they weren't even from the same person. Finally there was the third one whose appearance he couldn't make out from behind a blacked-out riot helmet, standing just a bit taller than the redhead. All three wore a yellow flak jacket with holstered guns at their belts. After giving the area a brief scan, the the patchwork-looking one let out a weary sigh.

"' _In the name of the Cultural Exchange_ '? Really, Tio?" she deadpanned, jigsaw of a face the picture of disapproval. The tall one, evidently Tio, shuffled nervously in response.

"I thought it would sound sort of cool if I yelled it while running…?" she offered as more of a question than an answer, though the unchanging glare of the shorter woman showed that it didn't work as well as intended.

"Ah, whatever. Let's just do our jobs." She turned away from her gargantuan gargantuan partner to address the crowd. "Alright, everyone, let's get ourselves out of here! The interesting part's over, anyway!"

Down on the floor, Kira wasn't really listening. He was more concerned with the fact that the third person wasn't saying or doing anything like the rest of her cohort, just _staring_ at him through the black visor of her helmet. He had to admit, it was a little disconcerting even for him. She began to walk closer, and Kira couldn't help but partially summon his Stand, the faintest hint of a purple glow cloaking his form. He was almost at the limit of his patience, and if this bitch tried anything then so help him he would-

"Yoshikage?"

The helmet was pulled off and, lo and behold, there was the surprised and somewhat amused face of Kuroko Smith. Kira barely managed to bite back a groan, the purple glow disappearing as his anxiety was replaced with annoyance. Of course she would be here to ruin his day even more.

"It's been a while. About a month?" Smith asked, the faintest shadow of a smirk on her lips as she watched Yoshikage push himself up from the ground and dust himself off. "Didn't expect to see you out here. You've already met Papi, I see."

"Papi?" Kira spoke without thinking, still somewhat surprised by the whole affair.

"The harpy that just dive-bombed you. We were meant to be escorting her to a new host family, but she just took off while our backs were turned," explained the coordinator. She rubbed the back of her head through her helmet and exhaled through her nose in a weary manner. "I should've seen it coming, I guess. Her species tends to be of the pretty excitable sort."

If there was a mental equivalent of raising one's eyebrows, Kira was doing it right now. Escorting? Why would an armed squad be needed to escort what appeared to be a relatively harmless, if lively, liminal? From what he could see, Papi wasn't a danger to human society to such an extent that she needed armed guards to watch her every move. If that were the case then there was surely no way that she would have been allowed into some unprotected civilian's home in the first place. There had to be something more to this, something that would provoke even the infinitely negligent Exchange into such extreme action. This was certainly some food for thought later. For now, though, he'd just have to play nice.

"It sounds like you've all got your hands full," Yoshikage said, injecting enough sympathy into his voice to sound genuine. He motioned to the two non-humans currently ushering the crowd away. "Who are they, anyway?"

"Oh, them? They're my teammates in the M.O.N squad." Kira actually raised his eyebrows this time. Miia mentioned them back at the Lakeside, a team comprised of skilled extraspecies created in order to get around the laws about human-on-liminal violence, which Smith was seemingly a part of for some reason. If they were here, then this really must be serious.

Upon seeing his reaction, Smith's grin widened. "Oh, what's this? Yoshikage Kira showing interest in my work? Back at the restaurant, you seemed bored out of your mind at Miia's stories. What changed?"

Before he could answer, the interspecies coordinator continued. "In any case, I've really got to get going. Places to be, rogue harpies to apprehend, that sort of thing. See you when I see you, I suppose." She turned to her teammates. "Come on, you two!"

"Coming!" came the carefree response of the large woman, clearing the distance between them with only a few strides. On closer inspection, Kira noticed that his shopping bags were hanging off of her arm. Apparently she had gone to the trouble of picking it all up.

"Here you go, mister." She shone him a bright smile that revealed enlarged canines as she handed him the goods, packed back into appropriate order and all. What a pleasant surprise.

Bags back to where they should have been, Kira went to thank the bubbly, yet oddly polite young woman. However, she immediately sprinted off in the direction Papi had flown in before he could even get a word out, her two companions hollering about slowing down and following close behind. With that hectic exchange finally over and their rapidly diminishing forms disappearing down the road, he was left standing on his own at the corner once more, as if nothing had ever happened.

Kira, shaking of the last remnants of surprise, resumed his walk to his car. He may have seemed calm on the surface, but in actuality he was already hard at work plotting his next move. That harpy saw his girlfriend inside his pocket before she ran off. If Smith and her unit managed to recapture the escaped bird woman - which they undoubtedly would - then odds were that she'd run her mouth and expose his true nature, bringing everything he'd worked so hard for crumbling down around him. As of right now, his best bet would be to disintegrate the hand and act innocent.

That wasn't an option, though. He'd only just got his hands on a fresh girlfriend, and he would be damned if he let fate snatch her away so soon. He was sick and tired of running, and swore to never reduce himself to that level again ever since he had donned the mask of Kosaku Kawajiri. If he wanted to keep his quiet life intact, then his only option was to beat Smith to the finish line in a deadly race for which the clock was already rapidly counting down.

Smith couldn't be allowed to reach her first. The harpy had to die, at all costs.

* * *

 **Well, that's it for this chapter. Again, sorry for being so late with this. It was originally meant to be one big chapter, but I figured I'd gone long enough without uploading anyway so I'm splitting it into two shorter chapters. As always, please tell me about any criticism or mistakes in a review.**

 **P.S. If anybody hasn't, they should go and read the works in the "Marks Of Fortune" series on AO3. It's a great story in every way that manages to do an OC right. Also, try the story "Daily Life As A Supporting Character" by Luckychaos, it's one of the things that inspired me to write this and made me believe that a serious MonMusu story could be good in the first place.**


	9. Of Centaurs and Harpies (Part 2)

The three members of the M.O.N. team hurriedly filed back into their armoured van, Smith and Zombina clambering into the front while Tionishia's significant bulk was confined to the back. A moment later and it sped off with the doors still swinging wide open as it travelled down the street, leaving behind a cloud of dust and some very confused citizens.

This had been going on for the better part of an hour. In pursuit of the escaped harpy and in dire lack of directions, the government agents had taken to the tried-and-true method of checking social media, listening in on police radio and occasionally stopping to ask the odd passerby if they had seen a blue blur of feathers and energy streaking overhead. Albeit with limited effectiveness, they gave their chase.

Not far behind was Yoshikage. Sitting behind the wheel of his car, he watched the navy blue vehicle in the reflection of his rear-view mirror as it turned a corner and disappeared from sight once more. Kira couldn't help but exhale at the sight. At this point he was tiring of this entire ordeal, and the act of tailing a fast-moving vehicle while also remaining inconspicuous had almost driven him to the end of his tether. Honestly, it was maddening that he was forced to such ludicrous lengths that would crush the spirits of normal men just to lead the simple, peaceful life he always dreamed of.

It was fortunate, then, that he was anything but normal.

Kira wasted no time in resuming his pursuit, pushing down on the gas pedal. However, rather than taking off after his targets full-throttle like some madman he instead drove carefully and responsibly. While the government agents rushed around the city as if death itself was nipping at their heels, he was more than content to take it easy and follow at a safe distance. Such reckless driving couldn't be good for his health, after all.

As the world passed by him through the tinted glass, the blond salaryman ran through his plan for what was probably the tenth time in the past twenty minutes.

Right now he was at stage one, which involved following M.O.N. around and staying undetected while they led him to Papi's location. Whenever they reached her, he would use Killer Queen to cause a distraction and plant a bomb on the escaped liminal during the confusion. Finally he would allow her to escape and, once she was out of sight, he would detonate the bomb and erase her for good. It was simple, stealthy and effective, just how he liked it.

A brief flash of light caught his eye. Directing his gaze downwards, he saw that the sun had reflected off of the face of his watch. It read 10:52 exactly, the silvery second hand ticking away as it completed its circuit. The watch itself was almost identical to the one he had worn in Morioh during his fight with Josuke. Its predecessor having been destroyed by Hayato, he soon found this one when jewellery shopping for one of his girlfriends and bought it on impulse. As he saw it the watch that the Kawajiri child destroyed was a symbol of personal failure, and by buying a new one he had cleansed that stain from his history. This watch was more than just a tool to tell time. It was the physical embodiment of his victory. A symbol that no matter what, luck would always side with him.

He grinned to himself. With some good fortune he might just finish this before lunch.

* * *

There was no way he was going to finish this before lunch.

Kira dragged a hand down the side of his face as he rested against the steering wheel. He was currently sitting in the parking lot of a bar, hiding in plain sight while he observed his targets mill around their van. After a total of nearly two hours of following them they - and, by extension, he - had run flat up against a wall. Apparently the runaway liminal had escaped the public eye and the steady flow of information had stopped. As a result, the M.O.N. team were reduced to asking pedestrians for any new sightings and Kira was reduced to sitting in a hot car that was almost out of fuel.

Across the street, Smith and her teammates seemed just as bored out of their minds as he did. The patchwork human had climbed up onto the roof of their van and was kicking her legs like a child in a high chair while she fiddled with some stitching on her left arm. Meanwhile, Smith and the horned one were holding radios and exchanging conversation. From the look on Smith's face, the situation was grim.

If the amount of time they had been waiting was anything to go by, the likelihood of actually finding the bird girl was dropping like a lead dirigible; too much time had passed since the last sighting, and there was little doubt that the avian escapee had already travelled miles away, perhaps even outside of the city. A being with a form so dedicated to moving quickly and efficiently would have little trouble in that regard.

Fingering one of the blond locks that framed his face, Kira traded his sitting position for a more comfortable one. Maybe that wasn't such a bad thing, in hindsight. The girl had seemed less that bright in the short time he'd known her, so anything she said might be disregarded as an idiot's rambling. Even then, the girl would likely be gone for some time, more than long enough to let his murderous instincts subside for a few weeks more and allow him to disintegrate his girlfriend without losing sleep. Perhaps if she got lost in the forest outside of town then she'd just die and save him the trouble. He'd heard something about wild boar sightings recently, after all. A smile almost played across his lips as he imagined her rotting, totally-unconnected-to-him corpse being discovered a week later.

It was at that moment that he heard a deafening, glass-like crash from outside his vehicle and the harsh wail of a car alarm pierced his ears, the racket so violent that for a split second he suspected an earthquake. However, he soon noticed that nothing around him had been rocked by the characteristic tremors, and a brief glance at the Exchange team saw them staring wide-eyed in his direction. Then, a silhouette began to spread over the car's interior block out the sun and bathing him in menacing shadow.

Killer Queen sprang forth before its master even had a chance to look up. Its two gloved fists were raised defensively, forming a solid wall of light pink muscle that any assailant would struggle to break. Its pupils were narrowed into wire-thin slits and glowed a baleful crimson, searching for a target. Looking past his ghostly protector, Kira saw the face of the fresh arrival and realised just why Smith and her cohort were as dumbstruck as they were.

Sitting no more than five meters away from him was none other than Papi herself. The juvenile liminal was sitting on top of the vehicle and munching down on what seemed to be a rapidly melting ice lolly, apparently oblivious to her perch's ear-splitting complaining. Looking down, he saw that her talons had pierced into the car's metal body, one having penetrated its windshield and left an ugly spiderweb of cracks creeping across it. Her body was mostly a silhouette thanks to her many feathers blocking out the sun behind her, but he could still make out the carefree expression she wore on her face.

M.O.N. didn't waste a moment. In the time it took for Kira to register the harpy's presence, the red-haired one had leapt from the van with a pair of handcuffs in hand. Papi reacted in turn, her head flicking around to stare before unhooking her claws and launching herself to the sky. The patchwork agent tried to leap into the air after her but, alas, her jump was nothing compared to true flight, resulting in the rogue liminal soaring away into the distance as her would-be captor missed her target by a hair's breadth. She seemed to be halfway to unholstering the pistol at her belt before spitting out what appeared to be a rather complex string of curses and racing back to the van.

Kira had already turned on the ignition and was preparing to give chase. Given that he had his bearings correct, the harpy was headed straight towards the district where he lived. That was perfect, as the residential buildings were nowhere near as tall as the concrete titans that populated the denser part of the city. With such a clear line of sight, there should be nothing stopping him from firing an improvised bullet bomb and putting an end to this horrid business. Yoshikage pulled out of the car park and set out after them, his gaze occasionally shifting upwards at the rapidly disappearing dot in the sky. Once again, the chase was on.

As he drove along, though, something caught his eye. While his target soared in the distance, Kira saw a blur of motion at the edge of one of the rooftops. Looking up at it revealed, oddly enough, a figure standing there, motionless. They appeared to be wearing a thick black robe that absorbed the light around it, making them seem like someone had cut their shape out of the very fabric of reality. Although half-hidden behind the ledge, they were far over enough that the blond could vaguely make out what direction they were facing: straight at him.

Nervous beads of cold sweat began to appear on the back of Yoshikage's neck. Why would someone stand on a rooftop in a cloak? More importantly, why would they be looking in his direction and not at the far more interesting spectacle that was the escaping monster girl? There was no doubt about it, the way the shoulders jutted out to the sides could only mean that he was being observed by this mystery figure. Who were they, and how were they able to appear as a black void like that? Could it be that whoever it was was a Stand user, perhaps a friend of Vino's come for vengeance? Had he been discovered a second time?

He didn't have time to make any further observations, for a moment later they were gone. Not in the way that one would expect, either, rather they were simply there one second and not the next. It was as if they had never even existed to begin with.

Yoshikage's brows furrowed as the purple flare of his fighting spirit swirled around his hands which were latched onto the steering wheel with a white-knuckled grip. Danger was afoot.

* * *

Miia hummed happily to herself as she picked laundry out of the basket on her arm and hung it over the line to dry, letting the wind of the balcony she was on tousle her waist-length hair without a care. Every movement was done with an amount of oddly abundant energy, even in the bubbly lamia's terms. Not far behind her Kimihito walked out of the sliding doors that led onto the sizeable outdoor space.

The young man looked over at her, pleasantly surprised. "Well, someone's in a good mood today," he remarked, "what's up, Miia?"

"Sheesh! As if you don't know, Darling!" Miia turned around and swatted at him playfully, earning a series of 'ow's from him on account of her enhanced strength.

"It's because of what you said yesterday, Darling…" she said lovingly, her cheeks reddening, "you were my her-"

"Uh, hello? Somebody up there?"

She was cut short by the sudden intrusion of an unknown voice, which caused both of them to drop the clothes they were holding from the sheer unexpectedness of the sound.

"Ah, damn." Kimihito placed a hand on the back of his head in mild frustration. "Miia, could you go check who that is while I clear all of this up?"

"Huh? O-Oh, sure," she stuttered, vestiges of shock still present in her system. She slithered over to the front of the house and leaned over the edge, more than ready to give whoever this inconsiderate idiot was a piece of her mind for interrupting such a romantic moment with her Darling.

"Yeah, who is it? I'll have you know that me and Darling are very busy, and-" her words got caught in her throat when she laid eyes on just who was standing in their front yard.

They looked, in all honesty, ridiculous. He wore the standard uniform of a postman, complete with a high visibility sash and clipboard. However, that wasn't the part that caught Miia's notice. Atop his head was a bizarre hairdo dyed the brightest orange that the young woman could imagine, and the regular black work shoes had been replaced by a pair of spats the same shade of orange as his mane. He looked up at Miia's exclamation.

"Oh, hi there." The man flashed her a sheepish, yet friendly smile. "I was just knocking on your door when I heard voices up there, so I figured I'd take my chances and intrude, sorry. You see, I've got to deliver this parcel to one Yoshikage Kira. Could you fetch him for me, please?" Looking at his hand, Miia saw that he was indeed holding a brown box sealed with tape under his arm.

"You're looking for Mr Kira? Sorry, but you've got the wrong house. He lives in that one right there." She motioned towards the cream-coloured house next to her own with her thumb. "Oh, but he's actually out right now. Should I take it in for him?"

"That'd be great, thanks," he laughed, "but I've gotta warn you not to open it. Confidentiality and all that fun stuff." Having been given the okay, Miia coiled the end of her tail around the railing and, like an abseiler, she lowered her body down to the ground before the impressed-looking postman.

He whistled in respect. "I've heard things about extraspecies' mobility, but actually seeing it up close is something else."

"Aw, well, it's nothing special!" the lamia giggled, her bashful expression only half-hiding how she drank up the praise like expensive champagne. "What's really impressive is how fast we can go when we climb a tree or a-"

A cacophony rang out from the balcony followed by strangled cry from Kurusu, drawing the attention of the two. Not even two seconds later, _something_ shot past them overhead. And it was carrying Kimihito.

"Da…" Miia reached out a hand towards the kidnapper as it disappeared over the roves of the houses. "DARLING!"

The postman, having bore witness to the entire thing, merely put his hands on his hips and muttered, "Well, shit."

* * *

Yoshikage peeked around a corner, making sure he stayed concealed as he watched the Exchange squad arm themselves with excessive quantities of sleep darts. Barely a minute ago he had seen the bothersome bluenette fly from the direction his house was in and dive into the local park, carrying what appeared to be a young man in her talons. His leads had obviously seen her too, as they immediately swerved away from their current path and began their pursuit anew. Smith had gotten out of the driver's seat, yelled rather violently into a walkie-talkie and was now checking that the pistol at her hip was ready for business.

Kira couldn't stop himself from chuckling lowly to himself, expression dangerous enough that were a concerned citizen to report him to the police they probably wouldn't be blamed. It was time for the second phase. He was so close to his goal, he could virtually taste the smoke of the explosion.

His gaze settled on the redhead, who looked a little too happy about toting a tranquilliser pistol in each hand. He'd taken the facts and, after a long period of consideration, concluded that the woman in question was in fact a zombie. He'd heard about them before. Humans that had been infected with a virus that left its victims clinically dead yet still able to walk. Though confined to an existence in between life and death where rotting away was a constant danger, they had the perk of being unable to die from conventional injuries. That included dismemberment, and that was the main driving force of what he was about to do next.

Killer Queen's right arm extended outwards from Kira's chest and moved down to the ground, where it broke off a piece of the curb with all the ease of plucking a flower. Even after so many years, the serial killer still found it hard to believe that he was now capable of such superhuman feats of strength. With the easy part out of the way, now came the challenge.

The apparition taking careful aim, Kira ran through the calculations in his head. While he knew the undead had a fair measure of pain resistance, he wasn't sure _how_ much. The last thing he wanted was for the woman to cry out in pain from having a chunk of concrete embedded in her stitch-covered body and make his day that much more difficult. No, he had to play it safe. He had to make this next part look like an accident.

A little mathematics later and the trajectory was decided. Killer Queen flicked its thumb and sent the stone piece high into the air with as precise an amount of force as it could muster. Biting his lip, Kira watched with baited breath as his projectile reached the height of its arc and started descending towards the zombie.

 _Wait._

His bullet sailed through the air like an angry hornet, dead set on its target. It was barely a second away from her now.

 _Wait._

The stone chunk flew past her face and touched down on the surface of the zombie's skin, landing atop a dense patch of stitches on her foolishly exposed chest.

 _Now._

Kira's Stand detonated the bomb the instant his improvised projectile made contact. Violent orange flames visible only to him burst out across her torso, tearing both the stone and the stitching to shreds before completely disintegrating them and dashing the remnants to the wind. Against all odds, his heat-of-the-moment plan had come together nicely. Now all he had to do was sit back and let the three idiots do the rest.

With the stitches holding her jigsaw of an upper body together now gone, the crimson haired zombie could only make an expression of disbelief as she fell into pieces. Her head, along with numerous patches of flesh of various flavours, tumbled to the ground, her body soon following now that the cranium controlling it was gone.

One second passed. And another. Then, there was pandemonium.

"ZOMBINA, WHAT THE FUCK?!" Smith roared at the disembodied head in the ground while Tio held both hands over her mouth, eyes wide like headlights. She received only an indignant look in response. All around them pedestrians gasped and sometimes fainted from the grisly scene.

"Didn't you change the stitching like I told you to? Shit!" Smith hissed. Her teammate tried to talk but, lacking lungs, the best she could manage was flapping her lips noiselessly. "Whatever, it's too late now. Tio, help Zombina into the van while I go on ahead, we've already wasted too much time."

With that Smith left them to it, marching through the wrought iron gateway with her pistol in hand. Tio, already busying herself with collecting the scattered corpse of her undead teammate, didn't even notice the blur of motion that passed through her peripheral vision.

Looking over his shoulder, Kira wiped a lone bead of sweat from his cheek and tried to calm his pounding heart. He honestly had no idea if that would have worked on a group of highly trained government agents, and was glad that his projectile plan had gone off without a hitch even from a miscalculated toss of the bomb. He turned back to face his direction of walking, eyes locked on the quickly shrinking figure of Smith. Now that those two were out of the contest, the only thing that remained was for him to outpace the raven-haired coordinator and grasp victory in his own two hands.

A faint noise suspiciously similar to the high-pitched voice of a certain harpy tickled him eardrums in the distance. Yes, this race was as good as won.

A glance at the woman further up the path confirmed that she hadn't heard the noise, just as he'd hoped. Even better, she was walking in the complete opposite direction. Kira almost laughed. Would it really be this easy? Taking the initiative he slunk into the trees, eyes peeled for any sign of his target. Barely thirty seconds later and there she was.

He exited the tiny patch of vegetation and stepped onto a circular platform of grey flagstones with an impressive fountain in the centre. Numerous people inhabited the space going about their weekend, siting down on the many park benches and licking at ice creams in an attempt to beat back the oppressive summer heat. And at the other end of all of this was Papi. She was perched on the back of a bench, an ice cream cone held carefully in her wing appendages as she spoke animatedly to a man next to her with shaggy black hai-

Oh.

Oh no.

That was Kimihito.

Kira's eyes widened like dinner plates at the sight of his amicable neighbour sitting right next to the girl he was about to kill. So _he_ must have been the one that Papi was kidnapping earlier. What the hell was this? Did he know her? Was she -God forbid - a _second_ homestay? If she was then killing her would bring the full might of the Cultural Exchange down upon him and his quiet life. Security would be heightened, questions would be asked and journalists would be hiding around every corner just waiting for a story to tell. Taking hands would become incredibly risky, and keeping them almost impossible. How could he take a girlfriend out on a date when he was constantly at risk of getting spotted by some policeman too concerned with the public for his own good?

Still, though, that was preferable to what would be in store for him should she live to tell the tale of what happened at the supermarket. On the off chance that the bird woman was taken seriously, then he'd end up being investigated and stress would creep unbidden into his life. Even worse, he'd likely be put on some sort of watchlist and his every movement would be tracked by the government like a hawk stalking a mouse. Under no circumstances could a curse so vile be allowed to exist. Under no circumstances could _she_ be allowed to exist.

There was only one option. Summoning his inherent stealth, Kira moved towards the two of them. He blended in with the crowd perfectly, making calculated moves to stay just out of their sight while not looking suspicious in the slightest. It was the result of a lifetime of evading the law both with and without Stands, and always proved invaluable in situations such as these.

Before long, Kira had prowled his way into the vegetation behind the bench where his target and neighbour sat together. The pleasant smell of earth and plant matter hung in the air. He knelt down behind the tall bushes at the back of the bench and listened in on their conversation, Killer Queen hovering just over his shoulder in preparation for the slaying to be.

"Just go and get cleaned up, would you?" came the voice of Kimihito, evidently exasperated. Kira could certainly appreciate that sentiment. "There's a fountain right over WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Curiosity taking over, Kira sent his Stand through the bushes where it could peer out at whatever had made Kimihito screech like that. And subsequently had to do a double take, for standing in the public fountain was Papi. Totally naked.

Kimihito's face looked just about ready to explode from how flushed it was, and even Kira was caught off guard. He didn't know what he'd been expecting to see, but it certainly wasn't that. Yet, neither of them were able to act before a most unusual noise made itself known to everyone in the vicinity. It wasn't the type of sound one would expect to hear in a place full of pedestrians, nor a sleepy town like theirs in general. It was loud and frantic and powerful, and with every passing second it was getting closer. Strangest of all, it was eerily familiar.

 _Move._

Yoshikage's body moved of its own accord as he pulled himself behind a tree just before something charged through the spot where he'd been crouching. It tore through the hedge like a rifle round punching through someone's body, scattering leaves throughout the air that drifted to the ground like flakes of emerald snow. Killer Queen at his side ready to defend its user at a moment's notice, the man inched over to the gap and poked out just enough to see what exactly it was that almost took his head off. The pit in his stomach reached record depths as he saw who else but the centaur from yesterday, Centorea if his memory served, facing down the avian exhibitionist.

The liminal had her sword drawn, an impressive and deadly-looking thing with a wide blade longer than Kira's arm that gleamed in the midday sun whenever its wielder waved it above her head, and her lower body was in as battle-ready a stance as a creature half-equine could appear. She brought her weapon to bear on the harpy, who had apparently only just taken notice of this fresh foe.

"You there! Villain! Cease your reprehensible actions at once and release the hostage you abducted, lest I unleash upon you the full fury of the proud centaur race!" Centorea stepped forward, brought her entire body into the sun and struck a powerful martial pose, radiating a rare, pure confidence that made her look every part the picture of chivalry. Kira just though she looked stupid.

Unfortunately, the act of stepping forward had another, less desirable effect, namely causing Kimihito, who was trapped underneath her, cry out in pain as the full weight of a horse's body settled in his midriff. From the state of things, the centaur's overeager charge onto the scene had resulted in her colliding with the luckless young adult and pinning him beneath her considerable bulk. Kira winced in sympathy for his luckless neighbour. He didn't envy him.

Meanwhile, Centorea's reaction was one of absolute horror. "O-Oh dear! Good sir, I-I apologise! Please forgive my gross transgressions!" she cried shrilly, her free hand over her mouth. She tried to move, but just ended up eliciting another pained gasp from the man below her. What happened next, though, was what really sent the situation spiralling into utter pandemonium.

"Hey, you!"

Before Centorea could make a more delicate move, she was distracted by a high-pitched, fiery voice. All parties' heads snapped towards its origin, revealing the nude and soaked form of Papi standing on the rim of the fountain, midnight-black talons leaving ugly gashes in the face of the masoned stone.

"Quit hurting the nice ice cream guy!" With that she sprang from her seat towards the other liminal, claws outstretched and bare body glistening as the countless droplets on her skin caught the light. Centorea was quick to react, bringing her sword up to clash with the cutting edges of the harpy's own natural weapons which produced a metallic clang on impact. For a short-lived moment the two of them were frozen there, almost as if time itself had ground to a halt, but it wasn't to last as Centorea shoved her opponent away with a huff of exertion. Given some breathing room, she fixed her tousled ponytail, sky blue eyes never leaving the crouching harpy before her.

"Hmph! You are already a formidable foe, but don't think that-"

 _Crack!_

A harsh snapping noise echoes through the air and the battling extraspecies were knocked onto their backs, their expressions those of extreme surprise as they scrambled to right themselves and confront their sudden attacker.

Kira's gaze followed hundreds upon hundreds of red scales that glittered like so many droplets of blood up the length of a massive, sinuous tail, followed by a human body clad a denim skirt and yellow shirt. At the top of the enormous reptilian limb was Miia, eyes brimming with tears and full of unmistakeable rage.

"You…" she murmured, her words barely discernible past the wavering of her voice, "both of you…"

Something red dripped to the floor from her palms. Looking closer, Kira saw that she had actually drawn blood from clenching her fists too tightly, and for the first time realised that her nails weren't truly nails, but deadly claws.

"Get the fuck off of my Darling!"

She shot forth like a coiled spring into the fray, claws outstretched and fangs bared. Her opponent had no time to react to the enraged lamia as they were subsequently caught in her tail's death-grip, and gasped in pain as the coils began to constrict and crush the life out of them so hard that Kira swore he could hear the sound of bones giving way. Eventually they managed to wriggle themselves free to turn on their opponent, and the pile rapidly turned into a whirlwind of shrieks and colourful, half-animal limbs at the centre of which Kimihito was being crushed, cut and trampled more violently than ever.

As they went at each other, bizarre bodies clashing in a dance of death, Kira could only watch with an emotion that 'mounting irritation' just didn't do justice. The last month had been nothing but a godforsaken disaster, one wave of calamity after another crashing against the island that was his precious serenity and threatening to swallow it whole, and these infuriating liminals had been at the centre of it every step of the way. The fight at the Lakeside would never have happened if Smith and Miia had never taken up all of his attention, his sleep schedule would be one of blessed normalcy if Miia didn't insist on chasing Kimihito around at unholy hours, and he wouldn't be crouching in a bush waiting for an opportunity to murder some dimwitted bird had she had the smallest iota of sense. Even now their very existence plagued him as they fought, and the only thing he could focus on was how much he hated them. He hated them. He hated them so much.

Still though, there was something there besides frustration. Distracted from the murderous haze, Kira soon realised that it was the feeling he got whenever he saw an opportunity. He gave a single, genuine laugh. Yes, it was so obvious now! For all his life he knew that if he waited long enough then he'd be presented with an opportunity, and this battle was exactly what he needed! Everyone's attention would be on the battling extraspecies, and if he waited for them to get just a little closer then he could easily send Killer Queen out and turn Papi into a bomb! His plan hadn't failed yet!

They started to edge closer, and Kira prepared himself. Two metre left.

A tumble from Miia brought all three falling towards him. Killer Queen's right hand twitched. One metre left.

Papi chose to back away in his direction and he pushed up close to the bush, eager to get as much extra range as he possibly could. Less than a metre left.

 _Pew!_

 _Pew!_

 _Pew!_

The noise of three rapid objects sailing through the air met Kira's ears. Almost instantly Papi stopped approaching and the other two stopped going for each other's throats. Puzzled, Kira looked through the gap in the hedge for any indication of what had caused such an abrupt change in the atmosphere. It was then that he saw her standing there.

Smith was on the path leading up to the open area, her riot helmet covering her head. In her hands was her tranquilliser pistol trained on the three rowdy liminals. Next to her was the towering figure of Tio, holding a scaled-up pistol of her own that would have been more like holding a submachine gun to human hands. Understanding slowly made its way to the front of Kira's mind as he realised what the gun-toting coordinator and her teammate had just done.

Papi went over first, succumbing to the dart's sedative effects quickly on account of her far more meagre build. With a half-hearted 'uh-oh' she fell to the ground in an undignified heap, an odd expression on her face. Thanks to the Exchange squad's expert marksmanship scoring a trio of perfect shots, the lamia and centaur were soon to follow in their mutual opponent's footsteps despite their heavier bodies as they too keeled over.

Yoshikage had already retreated behind the hedge, not wanting to chance being caught by Smith in such a situation. Not that he wouldn't easily be able to come up with an excuse on the fly, of course, but that didn't change the fact that not being detected in the first place was a far more attractive option.

He peered through the leaves of the hedge at the scene unfolding before him and clenched his teeth. Just when he thought he'd finally reached the finish line, someone had to go and trip him up at the final stretch. Ah well, it wasn't of any real consequence. Another opportunity would surely present itself in due time, as it always inevitably did. All he'd have to do was keep out of sight and-

"Hey, you behind the bushes! Just what are you doing back there?" Came the sound of Smith's voice. "I'm gonna have to ask you to step on out here, please. And don't think I won't fire, we've been given special permission to preemptively apprehend potential threats to liminal safety recently."

Well, that plan sank in no time. From the looks of things there was only a single option left for the blond salaryman to take. Fortunate for him, then, that Yoshikage Kira had long been an experienced liar.

He quickly adopted an expression of concern and stepped out through the gaping hole, hands held up in front of him in surrender. "Calm down, Miss Smith, It's just me."

"Yoshikage?" Smith seemed puzzled, her normally unbreakable mask of composure shattered by his surprise appearance; he'd be lying if he said he didn't take at least some pleasure in the fact. "What are you doing here? Didn't you have to get home with groceries?"

"Well, I was heading there after doing a little more shopping, but I saw Kimihito being carried off and I thought I'd try and help him," Kira shrugged, not missing a beat. It was a good thing he recognised the Kurusu boy's clothing. Besides, it technically wasn't a lie, which made saying it that much smoother.

"Help him?" He could hear the raised eyebrow in her voice even if he couldn't see it behind the visor. "You do realise that any sort of interspecies violence is strictly prohibited, right? Just how did you intend to ' _help_ ' him?"

Before Kira could give an answer, the object of their conversation let out a long groan from his prone position on the flagstones, drawing both of their gazes. For a minute Kira contemplated how odd it was for two people to be able to allow the very person they're talking about to completely slip their minds. For all his virtues, Kimihito truly did just blend right into the background.

"Oh, right." Smith walked over to the weary liminal host and crouched down beside him, then proceeded to tap him on the back of his head. "Excuse me, Mr Kurusu? You doing okay?"

"I feel like every bone in my body's broken…" was his muffled croak of a reply. He pushed himself up from the hard surface, Smith and Kira assisting him, and rubbed at a nasty welt on his forehead.

"Ah, you'll be fine. From the look of it you're not too badly hurt, save for a few grazes. I'll get Tio to fetch you some plasters from the first aid kit." She looked over to the giant woman behind her, who just nodded and went on her way, the few people who hadn't run off yet parting before her bulk.

"Alright, now that that's out of the way, I'd best get on with shifting these gawkers." Smith stood up and turned to address the crowd, reaching into a pouch on her belt and pulling out a silvery badge. "Cultural Exchange Security Division, everyone, the show's… over…?"

But nobody was watching them. Instead, their backs were all turned as they looked upwards. Following their collective stare, Kira's eyes were drawn to a large tree. It was an ancient-looking thing, its trunk twice the diameter of some of its relatively juvenile brethren that surrounded it with sinuous branches spreading out in every direction. What really caught Kira's attention was none of that, but rather the fact that, up in one of the very highest boughs, sat a lone child of about four years. Her eyes were clamped shut and tears spilled down her cheeks as she clung to the wooden limb like a lifeline. Yoshikage's eyes narrowed imperceptibly. What kind of irresponsible parent would let their child climb a tree that high? Didn't they consider that it could be dangerous? Not that he cared about the kid, but people who lacked common sense were a pet peeve of his.

Smith and Kimihito seemed much more concerned. "That little kid's gonna end up breaking her neck," Smith breathed, though still loud enough for Kira to hear, and reached to a pocket on her chest. She soon tugged out the radio from earlier and whipped it up to her ear. "Yeah, it's agent Smith. I'm at the centre of the public park right now and there's a bit of a situation. I've already got my hands full and there's nobody here to help me, so hurry and get someone down here before-"

But she couldn't finish her sentence in time. A heavy gust of wind blew through the park at the worst possible moment, upsetting the small child's balance and sending her tumbling over the side where she barely managed to avoid falling by grabbing onto the branch with her fingers. The crowd below gasped in horror and could only watch as she hung there helpless, grip slowly but surely failing and bringing her ever closer to a gruesome fate.

He was pulled from his internal criticising when a shape darted forward from his peripheral vision, something he soon identified as Kimihito. His amiable neighbour displayed incredible agility that left Yoshikage surprised, clearing the flagstones in mere moments. It was a good thing, too, as at that moment the child finally lost her grip and hurtled towards the bone-breaking ground below. With a final burst of adrenaline-fuelled speed he leapt forth and against all odds caught her in his arms, twisting mid-air so as to shield her from the impact of skidding across the ground.

For a second everything was silent save for the ambient sounds of nature, and for a second more. Then, the crowd around then erupted into a chorus of cheering and applause. Kira and Smith watched dumbfounded as the messy-haired young man stood up and handed the child to a tricenarian-looking woman, who was bowing repeatedly in gratitude. He turned away and hobbled back to the pair with one hand on the small of his back. "You know, that hurt more than I expected it to," he sighed.

"D-Darling," the sound of a certain lamia drew their attention to her position on the floor, "that was so heroic of you, I could just squeeze you and never let go!" Her voice was sweet and whispery, evidently enraptured by her host's selfless deed, yet each syllable was noticeably slurred. "Well, if I could move, that is."

"Miia? How are you awake? These darts should have enough juice to send an ogre to dreamland!" Smith said with a tone that made it sound like Miia's consciousness was an affront to her honour. Ripping the pistol from her belt she ejected the magazine, pulled out a dart and gave it a scrutinising glare like it owed her money. "Well, no wonder! Those idiots gaze me paralytic darts instead of sedative! I'll have someone's ass for this," she grumbled with a face like thunder.

"I don't envy them, heh, heh…" Kimihito laughed nervously, trailing off at the end as he realised that his meagre attempt to lighten the mood had fallen flat. "A-Anyway, why don't we all get out of the open? All these people are really starting to stare." He was right, the crowd from before had mostly shifted back to the old spectacle. Kira could feel dozens of eyes on him, a positively horrific sensation that made every cell in his body itch to move out of the spotlight.

"I suppose you're right. We'll all meet up at your house then, _Darling_?" Smith smirked, evidently amused by Miia's pet name for him. He didn't even respond before she gave him a double thumbs up. "Thanks for being so generous!"

The agent looked to the blond next to her, who did a good job at not showing his disgust at her disregard for social etiquette. "Yoshikage, I'm gonna have to ask a favour of you. Our van's barely going to fit Miia and Centorea with Tio still inside, never mind Papi and her wingspan alongside them," she explained with a gesture of her gloved hand, "so could you take her and Darling here back in your car? He didn't really get the chance to bring one of his own, after all."

Kira's heartbeat grew noticeably faster. This was it. He'd never get another chance like this. Smith was giving him his target and a silent place to off her for free, it was almost too lucky to take at face value. He would sneak Killer Queen's fingers around her throat and reduce her to thin dust in the wind, and nobody would be any the wiser! Nothing could catch him, no cruel trick of fate could stop him now!

"If it's necessary. I'll need to carry Papi to my car, though, and with Kimihito's help." Kira replied, careful to keep his true emotions well veiled. To conceal your plans and wait patiently is to claim victory, and to make obvious your intentions is to lose your chance forever. His best option was to wait for the right moment when it presented itself, like it always did.

The younger man looked up at the mention of his name. "Huh? Oh, right, yeah. You, uh, want to lead the way?" He still seemed slightly out of it, as if he had just woken up from a particularly vivid daydream. Kira couldn't blame him given what he had been through today, though.

After Smith took the liberty of redressing Papi's naked form (a thing that both Kira and Kimihito were thankful for), the two men got to work transporting the paralysed liminal back to the park entrance so Kira could bring his car around. The older man was holding her body bridal-style while his neighbour kept a careful grip on her unwieldy wings to ensure they didn't drag across the ground. With his target in his arms and his objective so close to completion, Kira had to work doubly hard to keep his calm facade together. She was right there and totally defenceless. Oh, how easily he could end this right now.

Then she opened her eyes.

Kira stopped in his tracks. Shit. Shit! Why didn't he assume this would happen? He should've carried her face-down to stop her from seeing his appearance! Now she'd let slip what she saw in front of Kimihito!

"Who're you?"

…

"Eh?"

The quizzical expression on the harpy's face was matched only by the utter disbelief on that of the one cradling her. He blinked and his mouth opened and shut repeatedly as his brain attempted to process that he had indeed heard the slight-framed liminal correctly. She didn't remember him? Remember what she saw? Fury began to boil deep within Kira like some tall, blond volcano a hair's breadth away from eruption. She was making a fool him! How fucking _dare_ she even-

"Oh, right, you don't know about her memory yet, do you?" The sound of his younger neighbour's voice was enough to drag him from whatever murderous corner of his mind he was in. He looked over and saw Kimihito give him a half-amused, half pitying look. "She's got just about the worst memory I've ever seen or heard of. Once she takes three steps, she forgets everything that just happened. She actually forgot that she _kidnapped me_ not ten seconds after we landed. Miss Smith said it was because she's a harpy and that her species as a whole is birdbrained," he smiled sheepishly. "No pun intended."

Kira's eyes were wide with incredulity. She couldn't remember anything about what happened? She didn't have any idea just what he kept in his jacket pocket? That meant that he didn't have to kill her, which meant that security wouldn't be tightened, which meant that his peaceful life would continue smoothly on its course. He was one hundred percent in the clear! Still, one question still persisted at the back of his mind, itching to be answered.

"How did you know that I met Papi before?" Kira asked. Did Smith tell him? It wouldn't surprise him, intrusive nuisance that she was.

"Just the way you looked at her there," Kimihito replied with as much of a shrug as a man carrying someone could make as he seemed to space out. "You wouldn't have looked confused at her question if you'd never met her before, and the face you made was the kind where you just can't believe something's happening, like someone forgetting a really important event." He rattled off, then snapped back to reality and looked over to the older man with a hint of embarrassment. "T-That's what I figured, at least. Sorry if I sounded rude."

Yoshikage nodded and made a noise. Today was just full of surprises, it seemed. He'd honestly never pinned the quiet and generally unremarkable Kimihito for being such a sleuth. If that was the case, then Kira might have to keep an eye on his skills of deduction in the future.

"Uh, am I getting aborted now?" Both men jolted as they looked down to face the curious harpy, who looked more like she had just been asked a tough maths question rather than shot with a sleep dart. Had they honestly forgot she was there?

"It's ' _deported_ ', Papi," sighed Kimihito, "and not yet. At least, I hope not. Come on, let's get you to Mr Kira's car."

* * *

Checking his watch, Kira was disgruntled to see that it was already half past six in the afternoon. How on earth they managed to spend so much time doing virtually nothing he honestly had no idea. He stepped out of his neighbour's grounds and started the short walk back to his own abode.

The meeting at Kimihito's house had taken far longer than Kira originally expected. When both vehicles first arrived back at the Kurusu family home, the first thing Smith did was send another shot into each liminal present. Just a small dose as insurance for if they got violent again, she'd justified. Of course, that meant that Kira had to do even more manual labour shifting the harpy's dead weight into the house and onto a sofa. The worst part was she wasn't even fully dry, so now his front was soaked with filthy water from a public fountain - something that made him want to writhe in disgust.

After Tionishia - who he had now learned was in fact an ogre - had finished hauling the larger liminals through the inadequate doorframe, the lot of them had sat down in the living room to talk about the day's events. Unsurprisingly, the first thing that Smith asked was for Kimihito and himself to keep quiet about Papi's escape so that her organisation could save face. He couldn't blame her; if he were in her position, he'd want to secure his job as well. Not that it dampened his disdain for the woman by any margin.

Then came the worst part of the evening by far, a revelation so simultaneously terrifying and infuriating that he wasn't sure whether to punch a wall or hide behind it and pretend none of this was happening: Papi would henceforth be living with Kimihito as an exchange student. Mental images of sleepless nights and deteriorating mental health haunted Kira, and he could only hope that the world wouldn't deal him too terrible a hand this time.

That was mostly done within the space of thirty minutes, but then Smith once again proved that she was nothing but a force of chaos and evil in the world by announcing - not asking, announcing - that she and her entourage would be staying for a ' _bite of late lunch_ ' as she'd called it. That had resulted in another long period of being forced to grin and bear the generally unpleasant company for over an hour, and while he wasn't one to turn down his neighbour's culinary masterpieces, the presence of delicious food did little to soothe the weary salaryman's nerves after such a rollercoaster of a day.

Fast forward a few hours and M.O.N. had left, taking Centorea with them. That left him, just glad to finally put another awful day in a seemingly unending string of unfortunate events, returning to his sanctuary. He'd already accepted that his routine for the day had been trashed harder than his old life and that his mind would need some serious wind-down therapy, and now he just wanted to go home.

"Mr Kira, wait!"

Of course.

Kira put on a neutral face and turned to face Miia, who was slithering down the path towards him with purpose. In her hand was a cardboard package sealed with duct tape.

"I nearly forgot to give this to you. It was meant to be a package for you, but you were out at the time so the postman gave it to us instead." She explained. She seemed to pause and think before adding onto the end, "Don't worry, I didn't open it or anything."

This piqued Kira's interest. A parcel? He didn't recall ordering anything recently, and didn't know anybody who would send him such a thing. What could it be?

"Thank you, Miia," the blond said, taking the box out out her waiting hand and putting it under his arm. "Have a nice night."

"You too!" she called over her shoulder. The lamia was already heading back to the house, the serpent tail's undulating against the pavement leaving a harsh grating sound in the air all the way. He spared a moment to think about how he didn't envy Kimihito's floors, then turned continued onwards.

Before long he was back in his own home, the mysterious parcel placed on his dining room table. What was it? Summoning Killer Queen, he had the Stand rip the thick tape with its thumb like a saw through wet paper before moving forward himself, parting the cardboard flaps and peering down into its interior to see what was hidden inside.

Then, his vision turned pink.

 **-To be continued in chapter 9: Crystal Ball And Iron Maiden-**

* * *

 **Alright, first things first. I've got to apologise for taking so long with this. Real life just got in the way, so I hope this extra-long chapter makes it up for you.**

 **I bet a lot of you are surprised as this outcome, huh? I know some people expected Kira to kill Papi right off the bat, but that would have taken away far too many storytelling opportunities as well as causing drama Kira could otherwise avoid. Also, thank you Tiamatio for the new cover art!**

 **My recommended story this time is "Shot Through The Heart" on AO3 by yes_this_is_indeed_a_jojo_reference. It's part of a series of stories revolving around Keicho and Okuyasu's past and how things change when Okuyasu actually manages to save Keicho from Red Hot Chilli Pepper. Another excellent one is "Why Are There So Many Idioms About Horses?" also on AO3, which is about what would happen if a young Giorno was found by Hol Horse.**

 **As always, please leave a review and tell me what went well and what I could improve on.**


	10. Crystal Ball And Iron Maiden (Part 1)

**Hello again, everyone. Sorry this story hasn't been updated in a while, it's because I've been working on other stuff (like that new MHA/JoJo story I just published). Now, this next part is important for everyone to read.**

 **I'd like to inform you all that there's something I'm going to retcon: the time period that this story takes place in. I originally said the MonMusuVerse was in 1999 because that's what it was in JoJo, but I've come to realise that was an incredibly stupid and redundant decision. I mean, it's an entirely new universe to the one Kira came from with new people everywhere. Why shouldn't it take place in the more modern times of the actual MonMusu setting? My original reasoning was so that Kira could live there more easily, but he's a resourceful guy who could easily adapt to modern times (not a whole lot of major differences between 1999 and whatever year MonMusu is set in, anyway) and lie about his DOB on those forged documents. There was no good reason for that initial choice whatsoever, so I'm changing it before it impacts the story in any meaningful way.**

 **With that out of the way, please enjoy chapter 10.**

* * *

Kira staggered back clawing at his eyes and mouth. What the hell was this pink shit?! Had whatever was in the package malfunctioned? He couldn't breathe! It was stuck fast to his skin, so tightly that even his best efforts to rid himself of the offending adhesive simply resulted in him pulling his face so hard that it burned with fiery pain. Realising that it was futile Kira tried to remove his hands, only to discover that in his instinctive attempt at freedom had left the both of them bonded as well. He hissed in frustration, but the noise was muffled by the gelatinous gag.

Now both blinded and deprived of fine motor skills, Kira could only stumble towards where he knew his staircase waited. He sprinted up them three at a time, the burning in his lungs becoming increasingly prominent, and barged through the bathroom door with his shoulder. Its latch cried out in protest, but fell on deaf ears. Repairing the door could come later, what mattered now was making sure he lived long enough to take another breath.

Kira took a sharp left and his elbows bashed into the goal of his mad dash, the shower system. Summoning all of his dexterity he fumbled to turn the thing on with his elbows, and almost laughed in joy as hot water began to cascade over him. A little soak could do wonders with rouge adhesives. He'd be free in no time!

But wait, it wasn't working. Even the thinnest, patchiest parts wouldn't yield a millimetre under the scalding temperatures. Yoshikage's lungs were on fire now; he needed to think.

' _Yes, think! In situations like these there are always escape routes! So long as I stay calm and put in the effort, my luck will never fail-'_

"So, you're the one who killed Vino, then?"

Kira froze when he heard a voice from the doorway. It was obviously a man's, clear and masculine and with a hint of a foreign accent, and cut through the sound of water droplets hitting the floor like a well-honed knife. Vino? Then this wasn't some sort of shoddy product or sick practical joke, he was under attack by another Stand user!

The blond serial killer spun around, what free sodden locks he had left whipping and gluing to that side of his skull, and willed forth Killer Queen. The vaguely feline humanoid burst into existence from its user's body with a powerful flash of pink energy with its hands already raised defensively He hated to reveal his hand right off the bat, but he didn't have much choice in the matter now. With its emergence came clarity, namely the shared vision he and his Stand possessed. Through Killer Queen's eyes, almost like looking through a red-tinted camera lens, was none other than the man with the bizarre orange hairstyle he'd met in St Lady's a while ago - Fusilli. His name was Fusilli. This time, though, he had a trench coat just as orange as his hair with a pair of matching trousers and spats.

"And that's your Stand. It looks strong, no wonder you managed to beat Vino. This might be harder than we thought." Kira saw his foe stare at the Stand and raise his eyebrows. His voice sounded slightly concerned, as if recognising a significant miscalculation.

Not bothering to spare a second thought about his attacker's identity, Kira directed Killer Queen into action. Instead of rushing forth to attack, however, it darted over to the towel rack and threw a large, crisp white towel up before its user like a fluffy barrier that completely concealed both beings. Now hidden from sight, Kira was safe to engage the second step of his plan.

Killer Queen's index finger brushed against the pink substance. Predictably it got stuck, but that didn't matter. The instant he touched it a trail of smoke appeared, which quickly grew as the gooey mess covering his face turned to black ashes and then nothing. Kira dropped to his knees and sucked in huge mouthfuls of air - he never thought the simple act of inhaling would ever bring him such unparalleled relief. The fire in his lungs quickly subsided as precious air rushed inside to greet them, and the searing headache from oxygen deprivation soon followed suit.

Good. He finally bought himself some room to breathe, both figuratively and literally, and Fusilli was none the wiser about his ability thanks to his makeshift veil. He still held the element of surprise. That said, though, so did his unfashionable assassin.

Kira's mind raced at a million miles per minute, constantly weighing new possibilities and options. Thus far he only had a vague idea about Fusilli's Stand in that it had something to do with that unbreakable, sap-like substance. What was it? What could it do? Did it have high strength and speed in addition to its ability? He didn't even know if the ability was directly linked to the pink stuff or if it was just some special weaponry, part of a surprise attack he'd set up beforehand to make targets more susceptible to his real ability. The best course of action would be to pressure Fusilli into revealing his Stand. Surely if it was capable in close combat the hitman would've attacked him while he was blind? That meant his Stand was weak and would be easy to go on the offensive against. As with so many things, understanding would invariably be followed by victory.

Reality hadn't stopped to accommodate Kira's lightning-speed planning. The entire time the towel he'd thrown had been crumpling and descending to the tiled floor, shaving precious moments off of his already meagre window of time. The time for thinking was over. Now it was time to act.

Pulling back into a fighting stance right as the towel finally fell to the floor, Kira prepared for combat as he saw his enemy-

…

Standing there.

In the time he could've used to fight, hide or do literally any other action, Fusilli had chosen to keep his feet firmly planted in his initial position. His hands were even stuffed in his pockets, looking more like he was waiting for the next bus rather than killing someone.

The two locked eyes and Kira ground his teeth in nervous anticipation. If Fusilli hadn't moved, then that could only mean his attack was already underway!

At his right, a small but noticeable noise began to emanate from the pipes connecting his shower to the water supply. It was a strained creaking sound that grated against his ears unpleasantly, akin to the sound of metal being warped under incredible pressure.

Thinking about it, the man had said ' _we_ ' just then, hadn't he?

Killer Queen crossed its arms defensively just in time for an enormously powerful fist to slam against them, forcing both Stand and user a few inches across the now-slippery tiles. Peeking out from behind the catlike apparition, Kira saw something that would have made him double take were he not pumped full of adrenaline. From the pipe had sprung a massive arm, probably two metres long at least, made of the same polished metal as the pipe. It looked almost skeletal, like someone had taken countless chunks and lengths of stainless steel and cobbled them together into some sort of contemporary sculpture of spikes and sharp edges. The fist was no different, its wiry appearance forming a stark contrast to its true strength. Even now Killer Queen was getting pushed backwards despite its efforts.

A second assailant. They had learned from their past mistakes and formed a team specially for killing dangerous Stand users who crossed them. The full weight of the situation settled on Yoshikage in that moment. It wasn't a random encounter like the lakeside anymore, nor was it like the manhunt of Morioh. No, this time his enemies had his name and number from the beginning and had spent long hours meticulously formulating the perfect scheme to eliminate a supernatural enemy such as himself while he was none the wiser about their murderous intent. Suddenly, Kira knew for the first time what it was like to be on the wrong side of the hunter's crosshairs.

Killer Queen redirected the attack to slip past it and went in for its own, index finger extended for the kill. Before he could make contact, though, the arm swiftly dodged by retracting back into the pipe's surface and promptly reappearing a few feet to the left for another blow which Killer Queen barely avoided.

' _This metal thing has just as much speed as Killer Queen, and easily more power,'_ thought Kira, his sweat mingling with the water that still stuck to his skin, ' _I see now. A distance Stand with little power that traps enemies and a power type with poor range that moves in for the kill when the victim's disabled. They cover each other's bases perfectly.'_

"That's it! You've got him on the ropes now! Just a little further!" Fusilli encouraged from the sidelines. Kira would take special joy in murdering him.

Killer Queen was once again forced into a guard as the first arm was joined by a second in a flurry of hard punches. Kira hissed as he felt the skin on his forearms split and fair under the unrelenting barrage, the first dots of blood leaking out from stinging cuts and fresh welts forming. Shit, he was already at a disadvantage. Whatever the case, he couldn't keep on taking hits like this. He needed to gain some distance.

Kira pulled away out of the arms' reach and bumped up against the rim of his bathtub, nearly falling in in his haste and causing the soapy water inside to slosh a little with the impact-

Wait, soapy water? He'd only just come up here, why would there be soapy water?

As if in response to his confusion, the bubbles on the surface rose up all at once and, like a foamy serpent rearing its head, encircled the battle-damaged blond in a ring of thick suds, excess water on their surfaces seeping into his clothes and dampening him further. He tried to pop them but, to his shock, found that the bubbles were quite unbreakable indeed. They held up to his struggling, not even popping when he went at them with his fingernails. Worse still, they appeared to be climbing his body, getting ever closer to his mouth and nose. Kira's eyes widened as he realised that his enemies' intent wasn't to immobilise him so he could be torn to shreds, but to force him into a bath prepared beforehand so he could suffocate on these unpoppable bubbles. These guys were professionals, they really had thought of everything!

Yoshikage could only watch as the Stands closed on him, the arms moving further along the pipe's surface and the bubbles climbing his torso. His eyes darted around to look for an escape route and, just as he was about to give up and lash out in a final bid for survival with Killer Queen, his gaze fell on the pink towel from before. Killer Queen had technically touched it with its right hand, hadn't it? And thanks to the way it had collapsed the very corner was a little under a metre away from the metal arms. Easily within Killer Queen's range.

He had no time to waste, and wasted none. Killer Queen moved right and raised its curled fist as if to strike, only to reveal the feint at the last moment and instead push its thumb down on top of its finger. The switch was flicked and the towel exploded into a violent inferno of pure destructive energy that quickly devoured the oncoming limbs. Kira could see them trying and failing to withstand the pressure, pieces falling off and disintegrating under the unstoppable power of his first bomb.

When the smoke cleared, nothing was left of what sections had been within the blast radius. Two mutilated stumps wiggled feebly before giving in and sinking back into the pipe, defeated. Fusilli stood in the doorway with a slack jaw and bulging eyes, evidently quite unable to fathom what exactly had just occurred, before turning his vision on Yoshikage.

"That's a relief. With those things gone, the rest will be child's play," Kira said with an unnervingly nonchalant tone as he met the orange-clad man's eyes head-on. Killer Queen turned to the bubbles climbing its user before rearing its fist back and releasing a rush of punches. While they could hold under the relatively meagre strength of an ordinary man, it seemed they were no match for the powerful fists of a Stand. Every single bubble was soon popped, leaving behind a completely unhindered - and pleasant-smelling - Yoshikage Kira and an even more flabbergasted Fusilli.

"From that look on your face, I've just sent your plans even further up in smoke," Kira observed, taking a moment to laugh at his own unintentional joke. "I suppose you know my Stand, Killer Queen's power now, but I know yours too. It's to control soap bubbles. A weak-sounding ability at first glance, but someone with my experience would have to be very stupid to judge a book like that by its cover.

"It was Fusilli, wasn't it? What will you do now that your partner is dead and your Stand has failed you? The two of you were very formidable. Whoever that person was might've had a chance if it weren't for me turning that towel into a bomb. Now, though, you don't have much of a chance. In fact, you'd have had better luck trying to fight me in St Lady's."

Fusilli seemed to take pause at this, his face screwing up before inhaling in recognition. "I remember you! You're the one from that sandwich place! Shit, if I'd known back then I would've taken you out when I had the chance!" he lamented. But his crestfallen didn't last long, being replaced with a smug grin. "Well, whatever. We might've miscalculated, sure, but you've got some pretty glaring flaws yourself."

Fusilli reached into him coat pocket and pulled out something thin, rectangular and wrapped in foil; a single stick of chewing gum. "Do you really have the nerve to gloat like that…"

He motioned to the floor with the gum as a pointing stick. "...when you don't even pay attention to what's happening around you?!"

Following his foe's indication, Kira's eyes bugged at the sight of hundreds of bubbles sliding across the floor towards him at breakneck pace. What? But how?! He'd destroyed every single bubble in that tub! There was no way this many could have escaped his notice! Unless…

Yoshikage looked over to the still-running shower and his hunch was confirmed. Rather than hot water, it was spewing a thick, soapy solution that barely managed to squeeze through the holes in a timely manner. Fusilli must have hidden soap in the shower head knowing he'd rush there to clean it off. If that was the case, then were any of the faucets in his house safe now? Though minuscule when they emerged, the bubbles joined together like pieces of a puzzle until they formed a less numerous but much more formidable army of quivering spheres.

Still, there was no problem. "I already popped your other bubbles. What makes you think this time will be any different?" Kira asked, already sending his Stand forward to destroy them.

"Just a hunch," Fusilli smirked, popping the gum into his mouth.

Kira's eyes narrowed. He was being mocked. Well, he'd have to rectify that, wouldn't he? Kira strode forward with purpose, Killer Queen creating the world's most sanitary bloodbath before him as he went-

-And promptly fell over onto his backside the moment his shoe first hit the ground.

Kira's head connected with the tiles with an unpleasant thwack, sending stars across his vision for a few seconds. After dragging himself back to his senses, he saw Fusilli standing over him with a confident smile, a huge bubble of orange gum staring him in the face. Kira went to kick out with Killer Queen's legs with the intent to break his enemy's but, to his shock, the gum bubble exploded with a violent pop before he could even get close.

He was wrapped in the orange adhesive in a moment, glued to the floor completely. Fusilli took this as his cue and fled, his trench coat whipping in the artificial wind. Yoshikage grimaced as he realised just what kind of trap he'd been made to walk into. That bubble army was just a diversion to waste his time and make the floor slippery while Fusilli prepared his gum, and he'd played along like a rat to the piper's tune.

At least his right hand was still free. He simply repeated his earlier solution to the same results, thanking his luck that Killer Queen had such precise control over what its bombs harmed, and followed the fleeing assassin with much more care. He took the downtime to consider what he knew.

' _Fusilli's Stand is more versatile than I thought. It's not just soap bubbles, but any sort of bubble can be controlled, even after they pop. That pink resin from earlier - it must have been bubblegum hidden in the package! If what Miia told me about him giving her the parcel hours ago was right, that means there's no time limit to how long he can sustain those bubbles. What if he's rigged other places with gum too while I was out?'_

Kira bounded down the stairs in but a few strides, clearing multiple steps per footfall. ' _No, I'm certain that he can only make a single gum bubble at a time. If he could make more then he would have mixed them in with the bath water and hidden them all around the bathroom. Taking the quickest route would only be natural for a hitman, after all. His gum ability is like Killer Queen's, only one at a time.'_

From the kitchen came sounds of rummaging and clattering, like someone was going through a pile of kitchenware. Kira narrowed his eyes and prepared to enter. Just what the hell was that orange bastard up to in there? Killer Queen's leg wrapping around his own, Kira summoned his strength and kicked the door open.

* * *

Fusilli heard the dull thumping of feet through the ceiling and knew his time was limited. He bit his lip and wiped the generous accumulation of sweat from his brow, careful not to upset his incredible hairstyle in the process. Shit. Shit, shit, shit, they'd really underestimated this guy. Years of hits on dozens of Stand users and some pencil-pushing nobody had managed to push them further up against the wall than anyone else, and in record time too. That bomb transmutation Stand of his really was the real deal. One hit from that, bomb or fist regardless, and not even his Crystal Ball's indestructible gum would save him.

Of course, he and Ala were far from defeated. They'd planned for this kind of thing. Scattered across the room were various metal objects: cutlery, ornaments, piles of jewellery and other such items were scattered everywhere, a mixture of their own weapons and the homeowner's personal tastes in ornaments that would lead to his downfall and their payment.

He put the last object, a metal statue weighing about a kilogram, on the countertop, looked at the sight in front of him and grinned. Yes, that certainly was a lot of metal.

The door was flung open, his enemy standing in the gap in the wall with eyes full of murder. Good, now Ala could finally work her magic.

* * *

Kira saw Fusilli standing in his kitchen area, messing with another stick of gum. The orange man's eyes widened upon the sight of him and his fiddling increased in speed. Kira flashed the man a predatory glare. Too little, too late. He lunged at the failed assassin, Killer Queen flying forward to deliver his demise. The oddly-dressed man was truly trapped this time, with no way to retaliate and nowhere to run.

"No, it's too late for that! Killer Queen has you in its sights. I'll eliminate ever trace of you all at once!" Kira couldn't help but feel giddy as he allowed his natural predatory instincts to take control. Right now, the terrified man before him was the only thing that existed, the only thing that mattered. He'd move forward and tear this miserable, wounded animal who dared to disturb his peace limb from limb!

Unfortunately for him, his single-minded pursuit proved to be his downfall.

Something hard and fast impacted the side of Killer Queen's face from behind the door he'd booted, breaking flakes off if its surface and crushing the structure beneath with a sickening crunch. Kira felt one of his molars get dislodged as the coppery tang of blood filled his mouth. He was sent sailing into his dining room table, the harsh wooden edge digging into his side and exiling the air from his lungs when he landed. Man, Stand and furniture all fell to the floor in a heap.

Kira blinked the darkness from his vision and raised a hand to his injured mouth. What the hell had just happened? There was no way Fusilli's bubbles could have hurt that much. That strike, it could only have been those metal arms from earlier. But that was impossible, he'd seen the blast atomise them firsthand.

Daring to peek over the upturned oaken table, Kira was met with a new wave of dread as he saw, plain as day, the steel monstrosity from before, with no signs of damage or fatigue whatsoever. This time, however, rather than just a pair of arms, it had taken on the form of an entire upper body. His eyes followed the gnarled limbs upwards to a ribcage just as misshapen, and finally a head where he could vaguely make out facial features such as an oversized lower jaw and holes where the eyes should have been amongst the forest of backwards-pointing metal skewers.

"You're confused, right? You figured she'd be dead after that explosion." Fusilli stuck yet another piece of chewing gum into his waiting mouth. "Well, that's not how it works. You didn't destroy the Stand, just the hunk of metal it was inhabiting at the time. And that's not the only nasty surprise waiting for you. I noticed that whenever you want to blow something up you use that right hand."

He motioned towards Killer Queen, where, to Kira's horror, there was a huge ball of multicoloured gum that trapped the body part in an open-palm position. Fusilli must have stuck it on when he was dazed by the close-range Stand! His bombs were disabled!

"Hah, I figured that'd be your reaction. See, now you're not so quick to taunt us, are you?" Fusilli laughed, the gum visible in his teeth distorting the speech somewhat. He climbed up onto the countertop and examined the downed blond down his nose. "You said that you wouldn't underestimate even an ability as weak as mine, but just like so many others you've ended up eating your words. You didn't see this coming and you let yourself get caught, and now your only option is to sit there and get beaten to death."

"No, you're wrong," Kira grunted and pushed himself off of the ground, drawing an odd look from his would-be killer. "I didn't underestimate you at all. In fact, I've been afraid of you trapping my hand ever since this fight started. Your ability to control bubbles of all types truly is terrifying." He pointed at the man on the counter with his free hand.

"So I decided to do something about it. You could say I took out some insurance for this exact situation right before I came into the room."

Fusilli examined the pointed finger with more scrutiny and noticed that the back of that left hand had some weird dent in it, like something invisible was pushing down on it. He was about to question his target about just what the fuck he was trying to pull, but was stopped in his tracks when a voice eerily similar to his mark's spoke from behind him.

"Look over here."

* * *

 **Hello, everyone. This time I've got a special announcement to make: we have our own TV Tropes page! I never thought my story would be so enjoyed as to warrant its own page on that site, so seeing that made me feel amazing. To whoever did that, thanks a bunch!**

 **If anyone's wondering about the length, this chapter and the next are pretty much one large chapter split into two smaller-than-average chapters on account of that last part being a pretty good place to leave it off for a while.**

 **P.S. Kira is using a Japanese shower in this chapter. I'd recommend looking one up in case you don't know what one looks like.**


	11. Crystal Ball And Iron Maiden (Part 2)

Sheer Heart Attack. A long-range automatic tracking bomb and the second special ability of Killer Queen. With a nigh-indestructible green shell and a skull-like faceplate, the tiny tank assaults its foes both physically and psychologically as it endlessly seeks out their body heat, not allowing them even a moment's repose. It is an unstoppable force with an insatiable hunger for the hottest thing in the room. And, as fate would have it, the body of a man in the middle of battle whose heart is racing and pumping warm blood to the widening capillaries at the surface of his skin, all while being wrapped in a heavy trench coat, makes for a strong insulated heater indeed.

The white pinpricks within Sheer Heart Attack's eye sockets, bordered by an inky blackness that seemed to defy all logic of their possible depth, levelled on Fusilli. With an enthusiastic rev its treads carried it from rest to maximum speed in an instant, sending the diminutive explosive rocketing at the assassin, who turned his head just in time to see a green blur headed straight for his torso.

However, it seemed that the orange-clad man was in luck. Just before Sheer Heart Attack could get Fusilli within its effective range, he was pulled away by the metal monstrosity that was his partner's Stand. In the brief moment before the explosion it had shifted its attention from Kira to Fusilli and snatched him up, wrapping its arms around him in a defensive gesture. It wasn't a moment too soon, either, as Sheer Heart Attack unleashed its first explosion of the night.

It missed its original target by a hair's breadth thanks to the Stand's quick thinking, the blast instead ravaging the thing's spiked back and turning much of the metal into so much blackened dust. If Kira had to make a guess, a rather rough one at that considering the odd proportions and maze-like anatomy, about half of its torso had been replaced by a smouldering hole surrounded by still-glowing metal. The killer watched from his kneeling-with-one-hand-stuck-to-the-hardwood position as at shrank back, wounded, and eventually retreated into the object that it had originally sprung from, a silvery sphere of some kind.

' _Interesting,'_ Kira mused. ' _While its speed and power may exceed Killer Queen's, its durability is significantly inferior. Not only that, but any extensive damage appears to force it to withdraw from the battle.'_

With time to think, Kira began to go over what he knew of his adversaries and concoct a plan. Right now, Fusilli's Stand, was a non-issue. Indeed, it had him trapped, but Sheer Heart Attack seemed perfectly capable of keeping the Stand user busy. Him trapping the relentless heat seeker didn't worry him either, for from the gum touching his and his Stand's skin Yoshikage could feel a faint warmth that he was certain would set Sheer Heart Attack off, if only barely. At least, he hoped.

His partner, on the other hand, was a much more pressing problem. Fusilli had said that he hadn't destroyed it earlier' just the metal it was inhabiting. By that logic, it was safe to assume the thing was functionally immortal until the area was completely devoid of metal objects. A quick scan of the room confirmed to Kira's dismay that reaching such an end was quite impossible given the sheer volume of metallic items scattered about the space, both familiar and foreign. Fusilli hadn't been wrong after all; no matter how warily he handled the situation, his own short-sightedness had allowed a clever trap to sneak through the cracks in his explosive defence. Even worse, it appeared that Sheer Heart Attack would be of no use against it. The metal was just that, cold and unliving and nowhere near hot enough to prompt an explosion. The damage it sustained was its own choice, not his, and the moment the two assassins figured out that the colder of the two could simply split off and finish Yoshikage would be the moment he lost.

Still, though, his situation wasn't a hopeless one. During the brief time in which he'd combatted this mysterious assailant, the razor-edged, calculating Kira family mindset had been hard at work logging everything down to the tiniest detail. The most obvious one was, as previously noted, its low damage threshold, but that still left the problem of it popping up behind him or some other unfavourable outcome. No, the best path to victory was the least obvious one. This Stand had appeared in completely separate locations, yet the user wasn't visible anywhere. That pointed towards an independent Stand like the one currently busying itself pursuing the other warm-bodied Stand user in the room, and yet there was intelligence in its actions. Could it be that this Stand was actually being controlled remotely from a distance, like an RC car? And it had no eyes and thus couldn't see, so the user must be close by, somewhere where they had the perfect view of what was going on inside the house…

Apparently finally seeing an opening, Fusilli vaulted over his kitchen cabinet and away from Sheer Heart Attack before darting through the door Kira had initially entered. Kira could almost feel the vibrations as he thundered up the stairs, the automatic stand hot on his heels. The metallic Stand seemed to be torn between engaging him and helping its partner for a few seconds before disappearing, leaving Yoshikage all alone in the kitchen-living room space.

Kira looked out at his garden, cloaked in the darkness of the rapidly approaching dusk. Thinking about it, the glass patio back door _was_ quite large, wasn't it?

The blond Stand user let a victorious smirk grow on his lips despite his perilous situation. Yes, he knew exactly what he needed to do. That grin only grew when he realised that he could still reach his mobile phone.

* * *

Fusilli was still running from his tank-like pursuer as he did everything he could to stall its advance, ranging from . Unfortunately it was all in vain, for no matter what tactics his adrenaline-saturated mind could dream up it just kept on coming like a bat out of hell. ACT2 was useless in this situation, and he couldn't get a moment's peace to even think about using ACT1. Even taking out their target, Yoshikage Kira, wasn't an option since either he'd have to slow down to do it or Ala would have to abandon him for a moment, both recipes for ending up a smouldering red smear on the walls. Right now, the only thing he could do was keep on running away from that creepy melon tank.

"Look over here."

So damn creepy!

But neither its creepiness nor its terrifying power was nothing compared to the shock of the fact that it existed in the first place. In all the time he'd been with Passione, he'd seen Stands of just about every type imaginable, enough to blow the average person's mind several times over. However, the one unbroken rule had always been one Stand with one ability to one user, no more. Ehe tiny ones with many separate bodies had technically been part of the same Stand, as were his ACTs. His target, Yoshikage Kira, had a Stand named Killer Queen. That's what he had called it, right? So why, in the name of everything holy, did the one guy he just so happened to be assigned to kill have two?! What sick twist of fate

Fusilli was at the top of the stairs now, and the tank wasn't too far behind. Shit, he needed to get to a window! He looked to his left and, like a resplendent angel descending from the heavens to plant a tender kiss on his forehead, a pane of glass stood embedded into the wall. The first knives of moonlight slid through a cloudy covering, and the brightest stars began to show themselves. And the dark, foreboding silhouette in the centre could only be one person.

Ala's Stand tore forth, leaping out from a decorative metal figurine of a hand on the windowsill - a little weird, but Fusilli was hardly about to complain about his mark's unorthodox preference in ornamentation when it had likely saved his life. With a mighty metallic roar more akin to metal against metal than a vocalisation it drove its barbed fist into the faceplate of the tank Stand and sent it well off course, rebounding off of the walls of the staircase multiple times and leaving sizeable craters until coming to a spinning stop on its back at the bottom floor.

Fusilli glanced back at Ala's cloaked form and flashed her a wide grin and a thumbs-up, to which her only response was to point in the direction of the tank which had somehow managed to right itself. Oh, yeah, he should probably do something about that.

Had the bathroom door been shut, it would definitely have been torn from its hinges as the orange-clad Stand user barrelled through the doorway with his trench coat dancing behind him in the artificial wind. He nearly slipped onto his backside when his spats struck the floor, their smooth soles incapable of finding purchase on the soaking tiles coated in a thick bubbly lather. But while deliberately moving to precarious ground while being pursued by a relentless killing machine on treads would be nothing short of suicide to the average mind, Fusilli could only smirk as he rebelled in his new advantage.

It didn't take much more than a couple of seconds for the bomb to materialise from the landing, the mechanical whir of moving parts and growl of an engine unmistakable precursors to its arrival. Once more it turned to face its target, soulless eye sockets locked on to Fusilli's own.

"Look over here."

"What's that? You want me to look at you? You're sick of seeing my back as I run away from you?" Fusilli crossed one leg in front of the other in a gravity-defying tiptoe stance while pointing both index fingers towards his foe. His feet began to glow with wisps of translucent orange. "Fine! I'm done running away! You wanna kill me?! Go ahead and try it! Crystal Ball!"

From the red-yellow energy surrounding Fusilli's lower legs, a shape began to take form. It was only a vague outline at first, but gradually it gained substance until surrounding the bottom half of each limb was a thick boot made of interlocking dull-grey metal plates that had a ring of white fur surrounding the mouth of the boot and soles which increased in thickness from the toes to the heel. To finish it off, a single black wire ran down from the shin guard to the top of the foot.

"Look over here!" yelled the tank, more forcefully this time as though responding to his challenge in kind. The treads tore at the floor as it sped forth with blinding speed until it jumped up towards Fusilli's chest and embedded itself deep within a gory crater before detonating one final ball of fierce flames.

Except it didn't, for its advance was all but negated by the scented lubricant that coated the floor. It tried to leap upwards but it seemed that it couldn't get a grip, and instead went careening straight into a foot-high pile of bubbles that hadn't been there half a second before. It was consumed in an instant, its green shell disappearing beneath into the white, frothy maw of his Stand like a shipwreck being dragged miles down to the sea floor by a beast of myth. The bubbly mass shook and jiggled as the trapped Stand tried to escape to no avail. Fusilli couldn't stop his lips from curling into a victorious smile at the sight, nor did he feel any desire to, for now he could put the final stage of his gambit into action. He inhaled deeply, more deeply than he felt he'd ever inhaled before, and finally put the gum that had been waiting in his mouth for so long to good use. An enormous bubble easily four times the size of his head appeared before his face, which he sent off with a sharp puff of air from between pursed lips. It drifted closer and closer to the airy lather, a menacing, spherical harbinger of misfortune, before seemingly taking the whole thing inside its hollow interior to form an airtight, multicoloured jail cell.

"And that's a wrap, I think! You're pretty intimidating on the surface, I'll give you that, but your power really wasn't that hard to beat. A tank needs solid ground for its treads to move on, right? So I thought to myself, 'well, what do you get when you take that solid ground away?' A tracking bomb that can't even chase after the thing that it tracks, that's what. Crystal Ball ACT2's power to control any bubbles on the same surface as my feet was the perfect counter to you." Fusilli stepped carefully around the miniature bomb's makeshift prison, making sure to avoid its blast radius, before stopping in front of his foe's bathroom mirror. He pulled a small wide tooth comb and began repairing his elephant's trunk, rearranging the many frayed strands that had fallen out of place during the pursuit back into their proper positions.

"Now with this thing disabled, all we have to do is go down there and kill the user, right, Ala?"

"Don't be so complacent. He's not dead, so it's not ' _a wrap'_ , no," came the scolding voice of his partner from the slightly open window on the far side of the bathroom. "I'll go back to the patio doors and wait for you. Hurry up. And don't go talking about your ability so freely, someone could be listening."

"Right, right…" he sighed, putting the last few locks back together before pocketing the comb and walking out. Man, he'd just outplayed both of their target's abilities and she couldn't celebrate even a little? The guy's so-called insurance had failed him and he was defenceless. Was it so wrong to be excited about being paid for a job well done?

As Fusilli walked down the stairs he couldn't help but shiver. That confused him, since he'd just been running for his life barely a minute earlier and he'd been stewing in his own sweat and body heat the entire time. Perhaps it was a lingering affect of the adrenaline that saturated his body? …No, it couldn't be that. Without a doubt this house had definitely gotten colder. Why? What was the reason behind this? The possibility of it being another Stand attack was out of the question, surely? Yoshikage Kira's abilities had all revolved around making things go up in flaming explosions, so an ability that makes things colder was an impossibility.

…That said, there was nothing to say that Yoshikage Kira's Killer Queen was the only Stand here. A fresh bead of sweat, this time not born of physical exertion, appeared on Fusilli's forehead as he began to entertain the idea that maybe, just maybe, this Kira guy wasn't alone. He'd had plenty of time to himself downstairs, hadn't he? If he was a smart man then he would have used this opportunity to call any allies he had - Fusilli certainly knew that in such a situation calling Ala would be the first thing he'd do.

He was at the bottom of the stairs now, but his stance was so rigid that it looked like he'd been frozen in time. If this truly was a Stand ability, then there were numerous things to consider. Where was the user? What range could the Stand have? Did it apply its ability through some sort of targeting criteria or did it lack the ability to discriminate, merely attacking everything in a given radius? Fusilli's head slowly swivelled left and right, scanning for any potential enemies in likely hiding spots when he heard a faint humming noise, almost like that of a machine, coming from right behind him. He whipped around, ready to summon his Stand and defend himself against…

…An AC unit on the wall. The assassin stood stock still and stared for a good five seconds before resting his hands on his hips and falling into a fit of laughter, shaking his head all the while. Of course, it was still summer and pretty warm, so it only made sense for the AC to be set to automatic for more comfortable sleeping. An enemy Stand, what was he thinking? His laughter died down to little chuckles as he stepped back into the kitchen area. There was no danger here!

That was when he got splashed in the face with freezing water.

* * *

The sight of his attempted murderer getting doused with the contents of a large pot full of cold water and thick slush was rather amusing, Yoshikage decided. The way Fusilli's elaborate hairstyle immediately wilted upon contact with the icy mixture brought a sense of vengeful pride to the man stuck to the floor. Predictably, the indignant assassin didn't share the sentiment.

"Ah, bloody hell! What's all this?! Ice?! Why?!" Fusilli stopped shaking ice from beneath his trench coat and regarded Kira, seething and shivering. "What, you wanted one last blaze of glory before you went out? Is that it? Well, we were just going to kill you quickly and be done with it, but now I think I'll repay you with a painful death! Nobody messes up my hair and gets away with it!"

Kira raised an eyebrow. "You thought I did that to spite you? Well, that's good for me, I suppose. It means you haven't figured out Sheer Heart Attack's targeting system yet."

"What? Targeting system?" Fusilli's anger seemed to vanish at Kira's words, replaced with wariness.

"Of course. How did you think that Sheer Heart Attack was following you? I'm not controlling it, so it needs a way to lock on to troublesome people on its own. You see, Fusilli, Sheer Heart Attack is an independent bomb that seeks out and destroys the hottest thing in its current environment. Its targeting system is based on temperature."

"Is that right? I figured you just pointed it at a target and let it loose, but it looks like your Sheer Heart Attack's not even that sophisticated," said Fusilli. "But if that's the case all of this cold is pointless, then. Why bother cooling me down? It'd be more useful to heat me up."

"Right, you're naturally wondering why I've doused you in cold water if Sheer Heart Attack chases heat. Why bother using valuable time to prepare ice water with Killer Queen and then throw it on you? I can understand that. What I've done doesn't make sense, does it?" Kira began to smirk. "That's because, right now, you're not actually what I'm trying to blow up…"

The noise of trundling treads could suddenly be heard from the staircase. Both men looked around to see that, indeed, Sheer Heart Attack was sitting through the doorway in all its fist-sized terror. Little shreds of gum clung to the emerald body, almost looking like flesh that served only to enhance its eeriness.

"What the hell?! I stuck that thing in a gum cage! How did it get free?!" yelled Fusilli, backing away from the bomb.

"Weren't you listening? I just told you that Sheer Heart Attack pursues hot things in its environment. By trapping it in gum that you'd been heating in your mouth, as I knew you would, you only gave it something warmer than the rest of the room to pursue. It likely freed itself by selecting your gum as a target."

"Look over here!" Sheer Heart Attack leapt towards Fusilli, who raised his arms up and screamed as he tried to shield himself from the impending blast.

However, Sheer Heart Attack merely sailed over the man's shoulder and towards its user.

"Killer Queen!" The Stand moved in front of its master at his command and, when its automatic counterpart entered its range, it kicked Sheer Heart Attack like a soccer ball through the patio doors and into the back garden. Shards of glass fell like snowflakes to the ground in the bomb's wake.

"It's a shame, really. I wish I'd waited a little longer before turning the stove on. You would've been killed, then. I was afraid if it just kept chasing you then we would have a repeat of the past few minutes and I would end up losing, but it appears you were too conceited to prepare another piece of gum." Kira observed flatly, sounding rather disappointed as he attracted his orange foe's attention. Indeed, there was an electric stove with the power button emitting a telltale red light. Fusilli was confused. That's what the bomb had targeted rather than him?

"You see, I needed you to be as cold as possible because there was no guarantee that Sheer Heart Attack wouldn't go after you. That's why I splashed you with ice water and used an application on my phone I recently downloaded to turn the air conditioning on remotely." Kira pulled a smartphone from his pocket and waved in before his nose tauntingly. "Modern technology truly is wonderful, isn't it?"

"You… What're you planning with that tank?!" Fusilli made to get a stick of gum from his pocket, but paused when his mark's pink Stand seemed to retreat. What was it doing? Wouldn't it rather stop him from attacking its user? What could it be doing over there that was more important?

He got his answer soon enough. Killer Queen floated over to the kitchen counter and picked up a mug, which it then poured over the stove to the sound of sizzling and steam.

"M-More ice?!"

Kira shrugged. "There's always the chance that Sheer Heart Attack could return inside to attack this hot stove, so I'm cooling it down again. This is, to be quite honest with you, an awful plan. It's incredibly elaborate and relies on far too many variables to be remotely safe for me. If one thing goes wrong then I'm likely to die. On top of that, there's all this damage that I've got to clean up now. How am I going to explain it? You and your partner really have forced me into a difficult position.

"But it looks like the winds of luck are guiding my sails once again, so to speak, since it unfolded perfectly in the end. Tell me, Fusilli, if I've cooled down both you and the stove, and I've put Sheer Heart Attack outside, who is it going to pursue…?"

The two looked outside to where the bomb had landed on the wooden patio, shaking violently in the crater formed by its own impact. A second later it seemed to right itself and look upwards, like a curious feline that had spotted something interesting on the house's wall.

"I know your position and your ability, and how to get around them. You'll be fairly easy to defeat. But with that powerful Stand, your partner is the real danger to me now."

Fusilli's eyes widened as the realisation struck him like a freight train. "ALA, MOVE! HIS STAND'S GOING TO TARGET YOU!"

But his warning came too late. Sheer Heart Attack propelled itself skyward and out of view, something that was immediately followed by one of its trademark explosions. Two things proceeded to fall out of the sky, one being the Stand itself and the other a far larger shape that looked like a deep brown sheet of canvas. It billowed in the wind as it dropped, and soon fell away to reveal what was hiding inside.

On the stones, covered in blood and bleeding out fast, was a liminal. From her back grew a set of insectoid wings and a large, wasp-like abdomen that alternated between dull orange and glossy black. Moving to her face revealed a pair of compound eyes, two antennae and a powerful-looking lower jaw made of a thick, yellow chitin, all of which were framed with a head of black hair that seemed to grow upwards rather than down. Her legs and arms were encased in a carapace that shared the abdomen's dangerous colour scheme, and rather than ending in hands or feet, they were tipped with vicious claws. Funnily enough, it seemed that each side of her body had two arms rather than the traditional one.

However, her wounds were what caught Yoshikage's eye. Sheer Heart Attack's explosion had actually taken her left arms, leaving two stumps gushing blood all over the pebbles that formed her bed, of which the sanguine colour was barely visible thanks to the arrival of nighttime. Both her own blood and moonlight bathed her mutilated frame, and it brought Kira great joy to see from the faint hummingbird flutter of her shallow breaths that she was on death's doorstep. Yet Sheer Heart Attack wasn't done yet, as signalled by the noise of its insides starting up to deliver what would undoubtedly be the final blow.

"ALA!"

Kira looked over to see Fusilli leaping through the shattered glass, the orange-haired man then doing something that truly surprised the serial killer. Grabbing a handful of what little slush remained on his body in his right hand, he picked up the heat-seeking explosive and hurled it into the fountain. Yoshikage was, in all honesty, rather impressed by the man's genius. To think that he could come up with such a smart way to handle Sheer Heart Attack in such little time spoke volumes of his intelligence, even if the man seemed quite foolish on the surface.

"I truly can't afford to take my eyes off of him for a minute, can I?" Kira murmured as he watched Fusilli mess around with something outside, likely fumbling with his partner's wounds. Was she still alive? Such a grievous wound would quickly kill a normal human, if only from shock. Ah, but then this person wasn't a normal human, were they? He made a mental note to find out just what species his latest victim was a part of once this was over with. From the looks of things, he wouldn't have to wait long.

"It's ironic, Fusilli," he called across the garden, to which he received an enraged death stare and a snarl in response. "Are you so concerned about your partner that you can't sense the danger you're both in? Even if you distract it for a bit, Sheer Heart Attack's assault…"

The tank leapt out of the water and sped towards the two, its sudden appearance too fast for Fusilli to even react to until he was already well within its range.

"…Is relentless!"

The assassin couldn't even get any words out before he and his ally were overcome by the explosion, their bodies briefly bathed in intense light and heat that then swallowed them up whole. It was almost comical, the expression on Fusilli's face when he realised he wouldn't escape with his life. A mixture of rage, sorrow, fear and many other emotions Kira wasn't sure had a name had flashed in his opponent's eyes during those last few moments, as if he was raging out against the world that had dared insult him so. Too bad it hadn't lasted longer.

Once the smoke had cleared, the only evidence of their existence there was some gore and a crater in the ground where the stones had been displaced by the blast. A small smile played across Kira's bloodied lips. Thus ended the tale of Fusilli and Ala.

…And his tidy home, he realised, that smile transforming into a weary sigh. Kira pulled his way out of the gum that trapped both him and his Stand, now weakened back to regular strength with its owner's passing, and set it alight with Killer Queen. He then called back Sheer Heart Attack, which, with its job now complete, dutifully trundled back to its user and returned to Killer Queen's hand in a flash of light.

"Well, they do say that a journey of a thousand miles miles begins with a single step," Kira mused as he watched the last bits of his colourful prison burn away, eyebrows creased. He made his way into the small pantry that led off from his kitchen and emerged a little later with an apron, a hairnet and a veritable armoury of cleaning supplies that hung under his arm in a white plastic bag. Another sigh escaped his lips as he turned off and began wiping down the hob he'd sullied earlier. A peaceful existence like the one he strived for didn't allow for stressful things like messes, and this disaster certainly wasn't going to clean itself.

* * *

Smith was sitting in her office, the constant drone of the AC unit in the background as she pored over the newest mountain of paperwork sent in by her higher-ups. Taking another sip of instant coffee that somehow managed to be both insipid and overly bitter at the same time, she brushed a jet-black lock out of her face and sighed. She couldn't work like this, not when there was so much else on her mind.

She set the mug down on one of the few parts of the desk not covered in papers and cradled her head in her hands, her elbows resting on its solid surface as she allowed her thoughts to run wild.

Yoshikage Kira. She couldn't place it, but there was something distinctly _off_ about him, and not in the way that she was used to. While she was well-versed in the unpredictable and fascinating world of liminals where creatures, cultures and concepts foreign to human society were more than common, none of that helped her with him. He always seemed to be around when something important was happening, and that was suspicious even if he did have an excuse every time. First was the St Lady's incident, then came the fire at the Lakeside that had broken out only minutes after the man in question returned from an unusually long bathroom break. Latest on the list was the retrieval of Papi, something that he shouldn't even have been around for given the fact that he had groceries to return home with. She had only allowed him to take Papi back in his car in the first place because Miia's host - Kimihito Kurusu, was it? The guy was sort of forgettable - was there to watch over the bubbly liminal, even if it was simply to assuage her paranoia. In fact, she'd stayed behind for lunch for the sole reason of seeing whether she could glean anything from the mysterious salaryman, or maybe discourage him from possibly doing anything, well, _untoward_.

Before, Smith had pretty much brushed all of it off - after all, much of the above could have been explained entirely as coincidence. However, his timely appearance today felt like there was something more to it, something that she couldn't narrow down, as if he had another motive for being at the park other than assisting his neighbour. It was the menacing aura that he exuded at the time, reminiscent of a cat that had just had its prey taken away.

Solid alibi or not, it was a fact that wherever there was drama or commotion, Yoshikage Kira was certain to never be far away, lurking in the background less like a character in the play and more like part of the scenery. Smith wanted to know why.

Immediately after arriving back at Exchange headquarters she had spent the last hour and a half investigating the mysterious salaryman, using her position in the agency (and a few favours from friends in other departments) to glean what she could about just who - and what - he was. To be frank, she didn't quite know what she expected to turn up given that she knew next to nothing about Yoshikage Kira. What kind of person was he? What was his life story? What were his goals, his ambitions, his dreams? For God's sake, she had known the man for a grand total of around two hours, maybe two and a half if she pushed it. He could have turned out to be just another creep with a monster girl fetish for all she knew. He could have been anyone. Whatever the case, nothing could have prepared her for what she _did_ find.

Nothing.

No matter what she investigated, no matter how much information she pored over, Yoshikage Kira had virtually no records whatsoever. He had the basic stuff you'd expect, of course, like a birth certificate and dental records, but beyond the bare minimum? There was hardly anything of substance there. School records? There, but vague. Previous jobs? A few, but inconspicuous positions that you couldn't really confirm yourself because nobody ever paid attention to the actual people in those sorts of jobs. What information did exist was incredibly barebones, and even his purchases on things like housing and his car could only be traced back to about last summer. It was almost as if his life hadn't been lived, but rather crafted. As if, prior to a year ago, the man hadn't even existed.

Yes, Yoshikage was certainly suspicious with a capital 'S'. Even that, though, paled in comparison to the most paramount concern of all, the one that had been keeping her awake for nights on end and threatened to see everything she had been working for even before the Exchange's creation decimated.

A knock at her door jerked her away from her train of thought and made her jolt slightly in her seat. Collecting herself, she called out, "Who is it?"

"Me, can I come in?" came the rough reply. Smith briefly exhaled in relief at the voice that could only belong to one person.

"Go ahead, Zombina." Smith watched as the door swung open on oiled hinges, revealing the rambunctious, red-headed undead member of the M.O.N. team holding two steaming mugs of coffee in one hand. She was dressed in her standard work outfit that was fifty percent black trousers, fifty percent matching blazer and absolutely zero percent shirt, which showed off her impressive (if patchwork) bust. Smith had tried to get her to dress decently in the past, but her co-worker had argued that dressing so lightly made it that much easier to strip off and get into her M.O.N. suit at a moment's notice. Bullshit, of course, but Smith frankly didn't care enough to keep trying after that.

"' _Zombina_ '?" chuckled the zombie as she nudged the door shut with her toe. "You never call me that crappy name out of public. What gives?"

"Huh? Oh, right," Smith responded with a wave of her palm, "I'm just focused on my work at the minute. Sorry, Zoe."

The undead raised an eyebrow at that. "You? Focused on your work in a building filled with all the powdered bean juice a woman could need? How long do you think I've known you, Kuruko?" She set the cups on a shelf to her right and placed her hands on her hips. "Seriously, what's up? You can tell me."

Smith hesitated briefly as her words got caught in her throat, before exhaling through her nose and rubbing her eyes. "I'm just worried everything that's been going on recently. It's like the world has it out for us or something."

"…You're talking about _him_ , aren't you?" Zoe asked with a knowing expression. "Look, I get that you think the guy's bad news and all, and I agree it's pretty suspicious how he just turned up outta the blue at every corner, but there's not even any evidence. For all we know it could be a coincidence. Worse than that, abusing your position to stalk some dude could get you fired!"

"I know, I know," Kuroko said, "but it's just not something I can ignore."

With that, the interspecies coordinator stood from her chair and walked over to the shelf, picking up one of the coffee cups and taking a deep drink despite the scalding temperature. Her brown eyes locked with the amber and green of her partner's, causing an air of palpable tension to quickly settle in the small room.

"Besides, that's not really the reason why I'm so worried."

Zoe's face shifted to one of confusion and she went to open her mouth to inquire further, but the black-haired agent was quick to stop her with a raised hand.

"Listen, Zoe. Before I say anything else, I can't stress how important it is that none of this leaves this room. Nobody can know about this, especially not the others. Tio would end up running off on her own and Manako would be too terrified to work. I'd tell Doppel, but she'd probably let it slip to the other two by accident. You're the only one I trust enough to stay level-headed about this, understand?"

Zoe fidgeted uncomfortably under the intensity of the other woman's glare before speaking. "Yeah, I get you. But something that could make Doppel and Mana do something so rash? What are you-" she cut herself off as her face was taken over by a sudden flash of recognition. "Wait! You don't mean…?!"

"That's right," Smith confirmed, voice more grim than it had been in years. "It's the reason we were given those special preemptive action privileges. All the skyrocketing criminal activity? The corrupt law enforcement? The disappearances? It's Passione."

 **-To be continued in chapter 12: Temporary Accommodation-**

* * *

Stand: Crystal Ball ACT2

User: Fusilli

Power: E

Speed: B

Precision: D

Durability: C

Range: B

Potential: C

Long-range type. It appears as a pair of armoured boots that overlap the user's feet. It has the ability to control any type of bubble on the same plane as the user. It naturally has no method of directly causing damage, but the boots themselves are highly durable so as to protect the user from harm.

* * *

 **I live!**

 **Sorry for taking so long to post this! I went through several drafts of this chapter and couldn't decide on my favourite one, so I ended up doing a lot of work for nothing. I've also been planning upcoming chapters both in this and TFTFAH. Then there's the fact that I've been studying more in an attempt to raise my grades recently, so that's unfortunately going to impact the update schedule. Still, I fully intend to get the next chapters out in less than two months.**

 **Thanks to Luckychaos for allowing me to use his version of Zombina's real name. I was going to make another, but after reading his story I can't think of her as being called anything else. Go read it, it's called "Daily Life As A Supporting Character" and it's pretty damn good.**


	12. Temporary Accommodation (Part 1)

"Vandals did all _that_?" Kimihito grimaced, looking over Yoshikage's shoulder into what remained of the taller man's living room. It looked like a mauled animal, with shattered glass and scorch marks dusted with pale green powder from a fire extinguisher littering the floor and walls. The dining room table was overturned and had a significant portion of its mass gouged out of it, which now littered the carpet in the form of chunks and splinters of the once-fine wood it was crafted from. Off to the right, the television sported a large hole through the middle as though someone had driven their fist - or a large, blunt object more likely - through its centre. Windows were shattered, chairs were smashed and ornaments Kimihito had come to expect to see from previous visits were gone, either shattered into pieces or missing entirely. In all, it was a site that would make even the most easygoing homeowners shudder in horror.

"Indeed," Kira confirmed with a weary exhale, though his voice was distorted by the lump of cotton inside his mouth, in the spot where his molar used to be. It was accompanied by a bag of ice, which he held to the left side of his jaw. "There were two of them. When I heard the sound of things breaking in my living room I ran down to see what was the matter, but one of them ambushed me with a baseball bat and knocked my tooth out. Instead of finishing me off, though, they ran out into the back at the first opportunity. I'm not sure why, they were in a fine position to do so. Cold feet, perhaps?"

Halfway through his attempted cleaning session, Kira had been forced to come to terms with the fact that no, he could not simply put everything back to normal in one night as if by magic despite how attractive the notion seemed. He could use Killer Queen to rid himself of leftover gum easily enough, and cleaning the bathroom was a simple affair on account of the relatively minor damage it sustained, but no amount of cleaning supplies and elbow grease would ever be enough to completely erase what had happened here the previous night. Killer Queen was a Stand suited to blowing away threats to his quiet life preemptively, not putting things back together once they had already completed their rampage. How useful it would have been to have the Stand of Josuke Higashikata - Shining Diamond, was it? Bah, the knowledge was of no use now - at his disposal in such a deplorable predicament.

Still, it wasn't a totally lost cause. If Killer Queen was made for destruction rather than reparation, then the obvious solution was to destroy. And so, Kira hatched the idea of working with what he was given to stage a violent act of vandalism within his very home by breaking the things he thought would be the most likely targets of a couple of hooligans. After all, he could never tell anyone that he had been the target of a joint Stand attack by revenge-seeking assassins who he had then proceeded to kill. Throughout the night he had worked to believably wreck his once tidy home, an undertaking that proved difficult beyond measure as each new self-inflicted scar on his precious valuables sent a twinge of sorrow through his being.

Kimihito's expression grew even more sympathetic. "That sounds awful! I'm so sorry, Mr Kira. I really don't know why some people feel the need to do this sort of stuff. What do they get out of it? It baffles me," he said with a shake of his head. "But enough about what I know, how are you feeling now? That tooth has to be painful, right?"

"Yes, it does sting quite a bit, though I'm thankful my jaw wasn't fractured too. I would have gone to a dentist right away, but I was afraid that they might come back and cause further damage. It's unfortunate, but at this point the tooth can't be saved anymore," Kira said. He was quite unhappy about his lost tooth, given that his entire life had been spent dedicatedly caring for them according to the advice of every official medical guide. The dislodged molar was currently sitting in a small plastic bag for safekeeping, just in case it was needed as a reference for the prosthetic he'd undoubtedly have to get.

"It must be hard on you. I remember getting my teeth pulled as a kid, and that was a pain, even with anaesthetic. I can't imagine how it would have been to lose it like you did." Kimihito nodded solemnly, though his expression then turned inquisitive. "What about those burn marks on the wall? How did they do that?"

"I believe one of them may have had a homemade flamethrower of sorts. I don't think it was done by splashing fuel on the walls since the burn marks don't look right, but I'm not sure how they got the walls to catch fire so easily without any. I'm just glad that I managed to reach a fire extinguisher in time." Yoshikage shrugged while his younger neighbour nodded in agreement. It was a somewhat far fetched explanation with a few potential holes, but Kira had often found that the key to a good lie was in fact not always how believable it was, but its delivery.

"But yes, that's basically the long and short of the story. A couple of miscreants broke into my house and started smashing things, and now I've got quite the job on my hands. Still, since the damage isn't anything serious like to the structure, it should be back to normal in a few weeks, maybe a month at most," the blond salaryman said as he adjusted the ice pack for the umpteenth time. At least that part was true. All he required were the services of some reputable tradesmen and some time to pick out some new furniture. Looking at it optimistically, this could even be a hidden chance to redecorate in disguise.

Of course, it didn't mean he did not despise the entire scenario. The police had already turned up and more than likely caught the attention of a few of his more gossip-prone neighbours, turning him into the centre of attention for a good few weeks. Such a thought sent shivers of disgust and outrage up and down his spine and he felt the familiar urge to chew his nails to stubs. But it had been necessary, and Kira understood that. Besides, he had a fair amount of money saved up, a new set of furniture was only a wallet away…

…His wallet.

…It was not in his blazer pocket.

Their conversation was forgotten as Kira began to pat himself down. Was it in his right hand pocket, with his keys? No, not there. His trousers? Not there either. His chest pocket? He would be able to feel its rectangular shape pressing against his pectoral, so that was immediately struck off as a possibility. The searching got increasingly frantic as he turned up more and more dead ends until it finally ended with a pair of empty hands, the palms of which were sweatier than Kira would have liked.

Yoshikage Kira did not lose things. Yoshikage Kira _misplaced_ things and then remembered where he left them within five seconds. Losing things caused stress that gave way to lost sleep and eventually snowballed into a giant thorn in side that spelled disaster for his worry-free existence, so he'd gotten out of the habit at an early age. That he couldn't remember putting it anywhere could only mean the worst had happened: it had left his person without his knowledge.

Throughout all of this, the only other person present hadn't moved an inch. Kimihito watched on, his quirked eyebrows partially hidden behind shaggy black spikes of hanging hair.

"Uh, are you okay, Mr Kira? Did you lose something?"

Kira held back the brief urge to let out a biting comment about how the answer to that should have been obvious from his body language, then groaned, "I've lost my wallet. It's certainly not in my house, I looked over it after the vandals left to see what they broke. You didn't see it last night, by any chance, Kimihito? Your place is the only place I could imagine dropping it."

The Kurusu boy shook his head sadly. "Sorry, but once everyone went home I ran Miia's bath and then got straight to cleaning. I didn't spot it anywhere. You went out grocery shopping this morning, right? Maybe you left it at one of the checkouts?"

"Maybe, maybe…" Kira's voice trailed off, but it wasn't because he was considering the possibility. There was absolutely no doubt in his mind that he still had it on him when he was moving Papi to the car yesterday, so that could only mean it was either at Kimihito's house or his own. And if his neighbour hadn't found it… No, it couldn't have been stolen, could it? Neither Miia nor Kimihito were the type, that was for certain. Smith? The coordinator and himself shared a mutual distaste for the other, yet she seemed content to make his life miserable through more indirect methods like dragging him into helping her transport the paralysed liminals. The same couldn't be said for her two companions - especially not the zombie, she was far too crass for his liking - but he had a feeling that they would generally follow Smith's lead. That covered everyone he'd met last night. The centaur, Centorea, preached on and on about honour and chivalry, and he doubted that blue-haired harpy even had the mental capacity to orchestrate such a heist. And with that, all potential thieves had been covered.

…No, they hadn't. A dark expression appeared on Yoshikage's face as he realised that there were two culprits left on the list of people he had encountered last night. He was certain now. He didn't drop it at Kimihito's at all, it had been in his pocket until he got home. But then, who had he met at the end of that wretched day inside his own house?

It didn't seem possible, but at this point it was the only logical solution left. The ones who stole his wallet were Fusilli and his liminal partner, Ala.

Kira's brow creased into a deeper frown. Well, that was just perfect. At some point during their battle, either Fusilli or Ala had somehow managed to snatch his wallet. Thinking about it, it wasn't that far fetched of an explanation when he considered just how much he had been thrashed around last night. It was far from impossible that it had fallen out and either one of his enemies had taken it, perhaps as a trophy. Fusilli did seem the type for that sort of thing in the short time that Kira knew him, at least. But when? Maybe at the start, when his face had been covered by all of that pink chewing gum. That was the only point Kira could think of where the two would've had enough time to spare to grab it. It made sense.

Fortunately, neither of them were in much of a position to make his life unpleasant through petty means like credit card fraud. Conversely, their death was quite unfortunate for him not due to the end result, but because of the manner in which it had played out. Sheer Heart Attack had destroyed their bodies down to the last piece. That also meant that his wallet and everything in it had been destroyed down to the last piece. His credit and debit cards, the money he kept inside it, his driver's license, all gone with no hope of returning. Not only that, but since today was a Sunday, the bank wasn't open and he couldn't go down there to get his identity verified for some emergency funds.

He was completely stuck without a yen in his pocket. How unacceptably stressful, for his quiet life to be plagued by interruptions in such an uncouth way…!

"Darling? Where are you?"

Speak of the devil. Miia's voice pulled both men out of their respective trains of thought as she slithered out of the Kurusu house. Upon catching sight of them, her host in particular, her expression brightened greatly. The same could not be said for Kira.

"There you are, Darling! I was looking for you, it's time for me to clean up your wounds again. Don't disappear on me like that, okay? Oh, hi, Mr Kira."

Kira nodded. "Miia."

"Eheh, sorry. I tend to forget about these bandages," Kimihito grinned sheepishly. Indeed, the various scratches and bruises he had obtained during his time in the middle of the maelstrom that was three fighting extraspecies women were dressed in white strips of medical cloth. "I mean, it's not like they're serious, or at least not as serious as what Mr Kira got."

"I don't care how serious you think they are. Miss Smith told me that I should undress, clean and redress the injuries at regular intervals, and I trust her advice as a trained medical professional more than your guy's intuition!"

"I'm not sure there's anything professional about Miss Smith…" was Kimihito's not-quite-audible reply.

"But I don't get what you mean by saying Mr Kira has it worse. I mean, I just assumed you had a fever or something, Mr Kira. What's wrong with you that's worse than what happened to Darling?" Miia turned to Kira with one eyebrow cocked inquisitively.

"Actually, you put ice on your forehead when you have a fever, Miia. Oh, and I got my tooth knocked out by vandals last night."

"Oh, oka- Wait, what?! You got your tooth knocked out?! By people who broke into your house?!" Kira responded with a nod and opened his mouth to show her the slightly bloody lump of cotton protecting the bloodied crater from any further damage. It still tasted vaguely coppery. Miia's hand went to her mouth.

"Oh my god! Are you okay? Doesn't it hurt?"

"Yes, but less so now than when I washed it will salt water a few hours ago."

"You did? Wow, I wouldn't have the nerve to do that. I think I'd just curl up and cry," Miia laughed with a tone that wasn't even half humour. "Now I see why Darling said that you had it worse. You said they were vandals, right? What did they break?"

One of Kira's eyebrows went up. "You didn't see the broken glass behind me?"

Apparently, she hadn't. When she looked around her blond neighbour's body to take in the destruction, her eyes widened like dinner plates. "No, no, I didn't…" she whispered, barely audible as her head ever so slowly moved from left to right.

Kimihito spoke this time. "If that wasn't enough, he's lost his wallet too. You don't keep any emergency cash in the house, do you?"

"I don't. All the physical money I have I keep in my wallet." Kira said. It wasn't the smartest decision, but he'd be lying if he said it wasn't because having money in unorganised piles all around his house filled him with a strong urge to go and put it in what he considered its proper place.

"So that means Mr Kira can't go to a hotel for the night. And since it's Sunday, there's no banks…" Miia appeared to be in intense thought, her golden reptilian eyes shimmering as she plotted something that suddenly made Kira wish very hard that she hadn't spotted the two of them over here.

She suddenly slammed her fist down on her palm and looked up with a fanged grin, startling the two men. "There's only one solution for it, then! Darling, what do you think about Mr Kira staying the night over at ours?"

Kira could've spat out the cotton at that. Stay the night? In the same building as that tireless, overly animated lamia with her near-nightly escapades? No! No way in hell! He'd never get a good night's rest in a place like that! He treasured what he got these days, and the only reason he held back from silencing Miia permanently was the tidal wave of trouble her disappearance would bring down upon the heads of him and his peaceful neighbourhood. But he didn't have to worry, right? No, of course not! Kimihito was an extraspecies host, and every member of a hosting household had to be checked out and approved by the Cultural Exchange. The name Yoshikage Kira wasn't on any Cultural Exchange list - at least he hoped it wasn't, else Smith might find herself a cloud of smoke and ash in the wind - so he couldn't stay in a hosting house! It was against the rules! His upstanding, law-abiding neighbour would save him from this grisly fate!

"That's a great idea, Miia! Yeah, of course he can stay!"

"Fuck!"

Kimihito and Miia both jumped a foot into the air upon hearing Yoshikage's harsh exclamation, and looked around incredulously at the tallest member of their trio, who seemed to be realising just what he had done as he stared at their shocked faces.

"E-Excuse me, I pushed my tongue down on the nerve too hard without thinking but I'm fine now. I didn't mean to curse," Kira apologised. Shit, he'd been so caught up in his train of thought that he hadn't been able to stop his knee-jerk reaction to having his hopes crushed! He could even feel the nervous sweat on the brink of breaking out from every pore on his face! Yoshikage Kira wanted to live a peaceful life, but how could he do that if he kept swearing damn near at the top of his lungs at every provocation? He hoped with all his heart that the hasty recovery would work.

"Its that painful, huh? I feel for you," Kimihito said, patting his neighbour on the shoulder. Then he smiled a little. "You, know, Mr Kira, I think that's the first time I've ever heard you swear."

Kira could only swallow and nod, incredulous that his hastily-delivered cover story had been eaten up so easily but unwilling to look such a convenient gift horse in the mouth. He wasn't out of the fire yet, however, though he doubted at this point that he would be. Still, even if he only had a last-ditch effort,p up his sleeve, he had to try.

"I try to avoid doing it so it doesn't become a bad habit. But Kimihito, you realise that I'm not registered with the exchange? I can't legally stay in your home while Miia is there. My bedroom hasn't been touched, so I can still sleep in there."

The Kurusu boy shook his head. "What if they come back? They didn't steal anything so they've got to have some sort of other motive, and we can't rule out the possibility of that motive being a grudge against you. Last time they only had the courage to hit you once and leave, but if they return they'll know what to expect and be brave enough to do something even worse. You lost a tooth, they might take your life next. It's dangerous to stay alone in that house. Besides, I know you're a trustworthy guy, and nobody's going to know if you stay one night."

Kira mentally grimaced. Shit, with the story he'd concocted he couldn't argue with that logic. As far as the two younger people were concerned, Kimihito's house had safety in numbers and unimaginable legal backlash while Kira's own had broken glass that formed a perfect entry point. Why was it that whenever he was faced with a difficult choice nowadays there was no easy way out?

"Yes, I suppose you're right. I'll go inside and get the necessities, then?"

"Sure," Kimihito smiled. "You can bring them over whenever, right now if you want. I need to start making lunch if it's gonna be ready at a reasonable time so I won't be able to help you here, but you're fine with that, right?" He received a nod of confirmation from Kira, which widened the younger man's smile. "Great! I'll get going then. It's actually gonna be soup, which should be pretty manageable for your mouth. See you!"

With that he walked back off towards his house. Miia turned to Kira and gave a sympathetic smile.

"I should get going too, otherwise I won't be changing the bandages until after lunch. Darling's such an easygoing guy most of the time, but when it comes to making food he gets a one-track mind," she sighed, though not unhappily. "I think having you over might take his mind off of those injuries, you know?"

"I've only known him a little over half a year, but Kimihito has always considered others' needs important, often more so than his own. That natural kindness is an endearing trait of his. It makes him quite popular around town," said Kira somewhat absent-mindedly.

"Yeah, I bet it does…" Miia's eyes grew unfocused and her expression softer as she slipped into the realm of her inner thoughts, something Kira didn't miss. It lasted only shortly though, and she bounced back into her usual bubbly self a moment later. "Well, I guess I'll see you for lunch then?"

"Mhm."

"Right! Later, Mr Kira!" She slithered across the road, waving over her shoulder and filling the air with the sound of scales scraping against asphalt.

When she was out of sight, Kira released a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding and raised a hand to his forehead, pressing on it while toying with one of his loose strands of hair. Good grief, a night spent in the Kurusu residence was bound to be a restless one. He was already dreading it, even if a feast courtesy of his young neighbour awaited him. Perhaps he could offset the negative effects with some earplugs, or maybe by some heavenly miracle Miia would abstain from doing any undignified things at night with a guest in the house.

He could certainly hope for such an outcome. Right now, though, he supposed he would have to go upstairs and organise the few things he'd be needing tonight, and maybe clear up some of the mess in the process. Yoshikage Kira could be considered many things, but unprepared would not be among them if he could help it.

* * *

The noise of a vehicle pulling up outside could be heard by those within the Kurusu house, who were sitting at the dining table with their soup in large bowls before them. They had been peacefully eating and conversing about inconsequential things, but that soon stopped when the doorbell rang. All three looked up from their respective bowls with confusion on their faces

"You're not expecting anyone, are you Kimihito?" Kira asked, his spoon hovering just over the surface of his soup.

"I don't think so. Miia, did you order something from the internet again?" His voice was slightly reproachful as he regarded his homestay.

"Hey, it wasn't me this time! I haven't bought anything since those new hairpins…"

"Well, I guess it'll just be a surprise, then. I'll be right back, you two."

"Who do you think it is? Probably not anything business-y since it's a Sunday…" Miia whispered to Kira as they both watched Kimihito head to the door.

"I don't have a clue. Could be his parents finally came back, for all I know. It's about that time," Kira said after swallowing another spoonful of soup, careful to keep the hot liquid on the uninjured side of his mouth.

"His parents?" Miia looked intrigued, scooting a little closer to Yoshikage. "Darling doesn't talk about them much, and he changes the subject pretty quickly when he does. Do you have any idea why?"

Kira shook his head. "Kimihito doesn't speak about them much to anyone, at least not me. Besides, it wouldn't be my place to give out that kind of information anyway."

"Right, right… But Darling seems different whenever they come up in conversation, you know? I don't think it's that he's mad at them. He said he had a pretty good childhood, and he doesn't feel angry when he talks about them. I think it's more… sadness?" Miia mused, reptilian eyes unfocused. She seemed to suddenly hatch an idea and looked at Yoshikage again. "Hey, you said 'finally' just then, didn't you? And you've never met them? They must've been gone for a while. Do you think, just maybe, he feels kind of abandoned?"

"You don't intend to let this go, do you, Miia?" sighed Kira, to which he was met with a sheepish grin. "Well, it's not like there's much to hide, anyway. His parents work overseas so he sees little of them these days, from what I understand. My conclusion was the same as yours, but I've never wanted to bring it up. Being the subject of gossip isn't pleasant, so I've respected the obvious boundaries."

Miia nodded slowly. "I think I understand where you're coming from. Still, if that's the case then he probably doesn't hate his parents, just misses them, right?"

"Right."

"And by that logic, he'd be happy to see them return."

"I'd say so."

"Which means if this _is_ his parents coming back home after months and months abroad, then he'd still seek their approval for important things!"

Her sudden enthusiasm made Kira pause. "I suppose…?"

She was grinning widely now, her eyebrows creased in calculating determination. "Then it's settled! The only natural course of action is to make this first meeting between me and Darling's parents the best it can possibly be so that they'll consider me for becoming Darling's future wife! I can already see it! The moment they walk through the door, I'll wow them with my natural charms! Their respect and support will be mine, and I'll be one step closer to the future with Darling I've been dreaming of!"

Yoshikage couldn't help but gape at this bizarre turn of the conversation. Didn't she think she was getting a little ahead of herself? To consider marriage when the two hadn't even gone on a first date was mad, trying to do so with a prude like Kimihito even more so! These thoughts apparently didn't stop Miia, though, for when more than one set of footsteps could be heard closing in on the dining room she rose from her seat high on her coils and faced the doorway, one open hand splayed above her heart and her eyes closed in pure confidence.

"Greetings, Mr and Mrs Kurusu! My name is Miia! It truly is a pleasure to make your acquaintance!"

"Well, it really is heartwarming to see you've prepared such a touching welcome for me, Miia," someone sniggered.

The delicate perch made out of Miia's own coiled tail almost collapsed in on itself when the voice that answered her was not that of an aged man or woman, but a familiar raven-haired interspecies coordinator. Kira's gaze became noticeably icier as he regarded Smith standing in the doorway. Her eyes widened when she saw the blond salaryman sitting at the table, but she was quick to recover with her trademark smirk.

"Oh, Yoshikage. I didn't see you there. Afternoon," she said, offering a nod that he returned.

Something was different about her demeanour today. Whereas she had been merely mischievous before, taking every chance to inconvenience him seemingly because it amused her, she now seemed almost cautious. The only thing Kira could liken it to was the difference between how a curious toddler and an adult would regard a venomous snake. Could it be that she suspected him after yesterday? Had he unknowingly let some stray detail slip in the short time he'd been out yesterday? The thought made him want to ball his fists up, but he managed to stop himself. Those scenarios were possibilities but still far from confirmed, and he couldn't put so much stock in them immediately. For now he would have to remain cautious and observe; doubtless, Smith would be doing the same.

"Good afternoon, Smith," he said with a ghost of a false smile. His reply was short and simple, hopefully like this woman's visit if fate proved to have mercy on him.

"I didn't expect to see you so soon after what happened yesterday, though. I figured you'd be spending today resting after being dive bombed by a harpy." She cocked an eyebrow at the man. "So, did our shaggy-haired friend invite you around for lunch or something?" Before he could answer, Miia gave in to the social butterfly inside her and dove into the conversation.

"Actually, he's here because he needed-" she started, but paused when something important appeared to click in her mind and glanced over at Kira. He could guess what it was. "Uh, because he needed to check on Darling again, yeah! He was so worried that he came over to see how Darling was doing, even though he saw us just last night!"

Smith's eyebrow quirked upwards. "How considerate of him. It'd be great if you kept that whole shebang between us, by the way, Yoshikage. It was hard enough convincing that crowd there was nothing to worry about, the Exchange doesn't need a scandal on its hands. It'd be bad for everyone involved, and I do mean _everyone_."

It was quite fortunate that Miia managed to catch her tongue before giving away Kira's sleeping arrangements. The man didn't want to know how Smith would deliver some awful retribution unto him if the plan was uncovered. Why she seemed to have it out for him so badly in her petty campaign of irritation he might never find out, but he would always be willing to reciprocate.

"I never intended to." That was the truth, at least; he would do anything to stay out of the public spotlight. "And I did try to get some rest, by the way."

"Oh? What happened, bad dreams?" Smith grinned.

It was Miia who spoke up this time. "Actually, Mr Kira was assaulted last night by vandals. He even lost a tooth!"

Smith's whimsically lazy manner vanished upon hearing those words, replaced by rigid agitation. "Vandals, you said? They broke in?"

"Yes, and destroyed a fair amount of my lower floor," Yoshikage clarified as he swallowed another spoonful. He had to admit that he was intrigued by this turn of events. Was Smith, against all odds, concerned for his wellbeing? He had never expected the irresponsible agent to hold his safety in such a high regard.

However, it appeared she didn't, as evidenced by her words when she marched straight up to Yoshikage and leaned down uncomfortably close to him at eye level. "An attack like that so close to this house could have been an act of terrorism against extraspecies gone wrong. Yoshikage, how many were there? What did they do? Did you see what they looked like, any defining features? Rough heights, ages?"

Kira was shocked by the sudden outburst, but not too much to respond in an appropriate manner. "There were two of them, but they didn't speak. I didn't get to see their faces before I was hit with a baseball bat, nor their heights. Is that enough for you?"

"Hardly," she huffed, "but it's definitely better than nothing. They were probably just hooligans looking for a cheap thrill. Maybe I won't have to report this in… Nah, I'll probably still do it just in case…"

Yoshikage could definitely see that she was more relaxed now, given that she had begun muttering to herself under her breath. What was it about his mediocre report that calmed her down so much? Did something he said clear the possibility of the crime being sparked by race? He had an unpleasant feeling in his gut that told him there was much more to this than he knew.

"So, Miss Smith…" Miia said tentatively in an attempt to break the long seconds of silence following her coordinator's interrogation, "why did you come here in the first place? Did you just come for lunch again?"

"Is that an offer? Well, who am I to refuse free food? But no, the reason I'm here is out there with your, uh, _Darling_ ," Smith chuckled knowingly, pushing the impenetrably dark shades up on her nose as she did. "In fact, I'd say they should be coming in three, two, one…"

"Wait, ' _they'_?" Miia tilted her head and her scaled ears twitched with curiosity, but the sound of the door opening again followed by many footsteps of various weights stopped whatever intentions of inquiring further the lamia girl had in their tracks. It was subsequently followed by a noise that both Kira and Miia hoped they'd never have to hear again.

"Woah, what's that smell? Is it food?!"

Coming through the doorway was a familiar blue-haired harpy, followed closely by Kimihito and a tall, blonde and regal-looking centaur. The golden and red heads could only look on, nonplussed and a little horrified at the fresh faces who should have had no earthly business within these walls.

"Heh, timed it perfectly. Miia, meet your new housemates Papi and Centorea. I can tell you have a whole lot of questions, so I think it'd be best if we discussed this over lunch, don't you?"

* * *

"So, that's it, pretty much. These two are going to be living here from now on, same as Miia. Any questions?"

All five people had collected in the living room. Smith sat on the L-shaped couch in Kimihito's living room holding a steaming mug of coffee next to Papi, who was enthusiastically slurping her second bow of soup through a wide straw. Kimihito and Miia each respectively sat and curled on one of the two armchairs and Centorea, due to the house lacking anything capable of comfortably supporting one of her size, decided that laying on the floor with her legs politely curled underneath her would be best. Kira, since both single seats were already taken, elected to sit on the part of the couch furthest from the coordinator, who either didn't notice or didn't care enough to comment. Knowing her, the latter was most likely.

Miia's hand shot up. "Yeah, why do they have to be _here_? Can't the Cultural Exchange find somewhere else for them to go? They're the reason Darling's so badly in the first place, it'd be totally wrong for them to suddenly turn up and start demanding things from him."

She sent a pointed glare at the harpy and centaur, the former apparently not noticing and the latter raising a skeptical golden eyebrow.

"Is it not true that you were involved in the combat as well? I do not hesitate to admit that I am at fault for my reckless actions, but I am not the only one who shoulders the blame. It is likely that you dealt this man a significant portion of the damage. Such selective forgetfulness is oft highly unbecoming, I advise against it."

"W-Well, that's true, but I was doing it for Darling's sake!" Miia protested indignantly. "You two were at each other's throats like wild animals with him trapped right in the middle, I had to help!"

"It didn't help all that much, though, did it?" The voice of Smith drew the arguing liminals' attention. She crossed her legs and took a sip of her coffee before continuing. "In trying to help Darling here, you only caused him further grief."

"Uh, it's kind of awkward if it's you who calls me that…" Kimihito started, but Smith continued on.

"Centorea, you wanted to stop what you believed was a menace to society so you could uphold your knightly code or whatever, but in the process you just became a menace yourself, and a bigger one at that." The horse woman's ears visibly wilted at those words and she turned her head, eyes downcast and body language tinged with shame.

"Then there's Papi running - hey, Papi, listen up, this part's about you - running off again and causing property damage, and sparking this whole thing in the first place. Do you know how hard I had to work my ass off to keep you from getting deported?" Smith asked, speaking the last sentence with a little more indignation that was likely necessary and causing the harpy's carefree expression to mound into a slightly scolded one. It seemed that even with such a short attention span, she still knew what she was being reprimanded for.

"To be honest, all three of you caused major problems yesterday that we were lucky to clear up, and I've still got to go through miles of paperwork when I get back. Actually, I was being figurative, but it probably is literal miles at this point. And a house where the exchange students are never more than a hair's breadth away from tearing each other to shreds at any given time is sure to make my life even more complicated, as well as your host's.

"You guys are here representing your species and proving that extraspecies people can coexist with humanity. When you're out there beginning mindless free-for-alls in public and refusing to get along even though you're all united by a common goal, then the public's gonna end up coming to the conclusion that all extraspecies are dangerous and can't be trusted to integrate into society. Understand?"

Smith received three guilty nods in response, a reaction which seemed to please her as she drank from her mug with a satisfied smile. "Good. I get that you don't want to be all buddy-buddy right off the bat, and I get that. It's not something I can ask of you. But it'd be really great, even if only for your own sakes, if you could all try to get along despite what happened."

Kira watched on, surprised and honestly a little suspicious. Smith had always been quite neglectful of her duties as an interspecies coordinator. Whether through the small details she'd given during their conversation at the Lakeside or putting Miia in a random household that wasn't even signed up as a host family, she seemed like she would always take the easiest route for herself regardless of the consequences her actions could have on the lives of others. Yet, in this scenario, that would have meant simply abandoning the two girls in Kimihito's doorstep after having her fill of free food and drink. Instead she had stayed late to explain the situation and answer any questions those present might have had, then gone out of her way to try and resolve the situation, even just slightly, before she left. Could it be that some new development had happened that changed her approach to her job completely?

The pause was interrupted by a loud sigh from the coordinator, who stretched and looked at the plain black watch beneath her sleeve. "Well, this was fun and all, but I've got some places to be. You know how it is." She shrugged. "As always, thanks for the food and you have my number if you need anything. I'll see you all some other time!"

With that Smith was out the door and into her van, away before anyone could even offer a simple goodbye. It was jarring to experience such an abrupt exit, but nobody seemed to pay it much mind in the end.

It was Kimihito who broke the pause with a nervous, yet amused smile. "That's Smith all over, I guess. Sorry she dropped something so unexpected on you, Papi, Centorea. She's always been pretty irresponsible-"

He was cut off when Centorea rose from her position on the floor and manoeuvred over to the human before inclining her head towards him with closed eyes in a penitent bow. Though her generous height made it so that her head was still above his eye level, the feffect was still apparent.

"'Tis not yours to apologise. On the contrary, it should be we who beg your pardon. Miss Smith was correct, what transpired yesterday was entirely out of line, especially for one who holds the title of knight. From this day forth I shall endeavour to keep myself and the others in line, sir." She opened her eyes and looked over at Papi with a harder gaze, who was still playing with the straw in her mouth like a toy. "It would be best if you were to set your ears upon this scene, spring chick. You are as much a part of this as I."

"Huh? What's that?" Papi chirped, looking up from her makeshift game with curious eyes.

"I am telling you that you should apologise to the man you kidnapped yesterday!"

"…Who're you?"

Whatever serious atmosphere the resident centaur had created during her small speech was shattered like a champagne bottle against the side of a ship. upon the utterance of those two words. Centorea's eyes bugged as the harpy stared at her in only absent-minded confusion, Miia snorting and Kimihito merely rubbing the back of his head while they looked on. Kira, still doing his best to blend into the background and succeeding, could only feel dread as he sensed the most quiet of his days had, for the foreseeable future, slipped out of his reach.

* * *

 **Fun Fact: this marks the first chapter where Killer Queen doesn't make a physical appearance!**


	13. Temporary Accommodation (Part 2)

"You've seen the guest room before, haven't you, Mr Kira?" Kimihito ascended the widened staircase with Kira a few steps behind. The older man held the few belongings he had brought with him, only basic toiletries and a change of socks and underwear.

"This is a big house, Kimihito, you've got too many guest rooms for your own good. The question isn't if I know where it is, it's which one I'll sleep in." Kira said with a slight catlike grin. The nerve of his missing tooth twinged a little, but he ignored it.

"Well, that's true," laughed Kimihito, turning left at the top, "yours is right here."

They stopped just before the end of the hallway, a little across from the upstairs bathroom. Like any other room in the house it had a door and doorframe of rich, heavy brown wood and a bronze handle, both in pristine condition thanks to dedicated upkeep and infrequent use. Kira had to say, if there was one thing he appreciated about his younger neighbour's home it was its impeccable cleanliness. Not a single risk of stressful illnesses in sight. He supposed that it was only natural, a dirty hovel couldn't possibly be cleared for use by multiple extraspecies exchange students, after all.

The two walked inside, revealing a fairly standard room consisting of white walls, a single bed against the wall, a bedside table with an alarm clock on it and a somewhat vintage-looking wooden wardrobe with very little in the way of decoration but visibly sturdy and thick. The bed had a plain white mat, a square about three by three metres large, next to it for protecting early morning feet from the jarring chill of the cold floorboards beneath. A white radiator was mounted on the wall next to a window that had a few floral-scented sticks poking out of a pot of oil. Overall, it wasn't the least bit out of the ordinary for a guest room.

"Sorry for the barrenness." Kimihito rubbed the back of his neck. "The house has plenty of room but nothing to actually fill the excess space with, plus this room barely gets used. I must look like a pretty stingy host."

"It's a guest room, not a luxury suite. You're hardly obligated to keep it as nice as the rest of the house on the off-chance someone needs it." The blond set what little luggage he had next to the bedside table. "Well, I'm unpacked. Is there anything else I should know?"

Kimihito scratched his chin for a moment before speaking. "Uh, you turn the radiator on by turning the knob on the side to a number above zero. That's all I can really think of to be honest. You know where everything is?"

"I have it all memorised."

Kimihito set his hands on his hips. "Right, then! If you're all set up we can go back and see the girls."

Yoshikage had to work to keep his easy expression from hardening into a frown. He would really have preferred to avoid them, if only to stave off the inevitable for a while longer. Yesterday's events had taken their toll on him, and not just the fight with Fusilli and Ala. Thinking back to that ghastly scene he'd been caught up in courtesy of the extraspecies trio downstairs' inability to conduct themselves properly in public filled him with thoughts not entirely pleasant and a strong desire to keep his distance. Why was it that wherever nonhumans went, destruction never lagged far behind?

No, he didn't have to ask, did he? The answer was right in front of him. They simply didn't fit with humanity's world on a biological level. How could harpies, a species with an uncontrollable urge to roam and the processing power of a submerged toaster, become functional members of a stable society? How could lamias, a species comprised entirely of women with insanely high sex drives, ever be reasonably expected to follow social norms created by purely human cultures? How could centaurs, a species with… well, he wasn't quite as well-versed on their kind as he was with the previous two, but he was still quite positive there was _something_ going on there given the species-wide fanaticism for chivalry. It spoke volumes of their compatibility when a supernatural serial killer was a more well-adjusted citizen.

The two of them left the room and were headed down the staircase towards the kitchen when Kimihito stopped, one foot midair between one step and another. He turned to Kira, who cocked an eyebrow.

"Is something the matter?"

Kimihito's expression became one of concern. "I just realised that Centorea and Papi don't actually know you're staying over for the night. What will we do if they don't agree to it?"

Kira hummed as he pondered. "I doubt Papi will have any problems with it, she seems like the laid back type. Thinking about it, she'd probably forget I was even here. Centorea, on the other hand, might be more of a problem what with her strict adherence to the law."

Kimihito nodded. "So, what should we do?"

"The only thing I can think of is getting the two of them together and explaining the circumstances. We'll just have to hope they understand."

Of course, Kira held a secret hope otherwise. Maybe the horse liminal would be of an unreasonable stance on the matter. Then he'd have no choice but to abandon the noisy, chaotic, restless Kurusu abode and return to his nice, quiet bedroom, just the way he wanted it! Such thoughts of escape was enough to send waves of giddy eagerness through him.

"I sure hope so," the Kurusu boy sighed. "It would make- wait, do you hear that?"

Yoshikage strained his ears, confused but curious. It was then that he heard the muffled sound of two female voices locked in a bickering match from the lounge. The more the two proceeded, the clearer the pointed words became.

"…-nderstand me, Centorea?" Came Miia's voice, thickly drenched in smugness. Kira could only wonder what the story behind this was and dread what he would undoubtedly be pulled into imminently.

"Silence!" Centorea this time. "Unlike Papi, I have memorised every one of the Cultural Exchange Program's laws-"

"Hey, you guys! Uh, what's going on here?" Kimihito greeted the girls as he and Yoshikage walked through the doorway. Puzzlement played on the younger man's face, taking in the scene before him.

Yoshikage was much the same. It seemed that Miia had procured a whiteboard - did Kimihito own a whiteboard? He didn't think so - and sketched out what appeared to be a poorly drawn pecking order of the extraspecies household. At number one was Miia, no, _two_ Miias, one a simple portrait and another a significantly more detailed image of her hugging what was definitely supposed to be Kimihito. Surrounding them were love hearts and shameless phrases like ' _cute!_ ' and ' _snakea are the best!_ '. Meanwhile, the bottom of the board were occupied by Papi and Centorea at positions two and three respectively, represented by effortless scribbles that looked more like something from a child's cookie cutter set than either extraspecies girl. Kira nearly laughed at the sheer audacity of it.

…Hold on, was that almost-person in the bottom right waving at the outside world supposed to be _him_?

"Darling! I'm so glad you're back!" Miia slithered straight past her fellow exchange participants, drawing an offended leer from Centorea.

"But we only went upstairs…"

"I was just teaching the newbies how the Exchange works! They don't really bother learning the rules and stuff so I've got to educate them, like any good housemate would-"

But the centaur was quick to butt in. "Lies and slander, you have merely been making up your own rules to gain an edge over Papi and I!"

"Hmph! It's common sense for the person who's been here the longest to understand things the best. Leave it to a pompous centaur to ignore what's in front of them!"

"Why, you-!"

"Guys, guys!" Kimihito jumped between the two before the palpable animosity between the two could turn into a blood match. "Remember what Smith said, you can't be so hostile!"

Both liminals stopped for a moment, eyeing each other like feral cats in an alley. Their eyes told the two men that they were clearly weighing their options, legitimately unsure of which road to take, before they eventually conceded.

"If that is your wish, then I am left with no option but to oblige," sighed Centorea.

"I guess if Darling says so…" grumbled Miia as she lowered to the floor again. Kimihito not-so-subtly wiped the not-so-subtle bead of sweat from his brow.

"Maybe you two just need some time away from each other. Mr Kira?" Kimihito turned around to his older neighbour. "Could you go with Miia to the balcony, please? I have to _go over some stuff_ with Centorea and Papi anyway."

The conspiratorial tone in Kimihito's voice was an unmissable signal. So, this was how the host would handle this situation? A clever use of an already-bad situation and as good an option as any, but that didn't necessarily mean Kira liked it. Forced into spending time alone with the insufferable, loud, inconsiderate, self-absorbed hurricane of noise and general unrest that was Miia, who didn't spare a thought for the innocents affected by her shameless nighttime escapades? And when she was in a mood no less? Kira would be lying if he said he didn't feel his Stand's presence grow a little more pronounced.

And yet there had once again been no other option for Yoshikage, which was why he was now leaning upon the balcony's metal railing with a certain red-scaled monster at his side. He looked over at his house, so close and yet so distant, and thought of what he wouldn't give to be back in his destroyed living room right now.

The atmosphere was definitely uncomfortable. Two whole minutes had passed since they had left the others downstairs and not a word had been spoken, liminal and salaryman merely leaning their weight on the railings and keeping the three metres of distance between them. The only sound was the whispering wind accompanied by occasional birdsong, the only smell was that of warm, slightly floral summer air, the only sensation was a gentle breeze running invisible singers across his cheeks and through his hair.

The silent trance was broken when Miia groaned an ran a slender, pale _hand_ \- no, Yoshikage, consider the time and place - through her locks of glossy crimson, coming dangerously close to dislodging one of her hair clips. Come to think of it, where did she get them? He'd been jewellery shopping for his girlfriends before and hadn't seen anything like them. Were they custom?

"Mr Kira…" she began while she gazed at two birds engaging in an aerial dance. "How does Kimihito think of me?"

"I-…Could you elaborate?" Kira managed through the surprise. Never before had he heard Miia using her host's actual name, only ever that embarrassing pet name. What had brought this on?

"When I'm with him I feel… Ah, it's difficult to describe. It feels like there's this warmth, just spreading out from my head to the tip of my tail as if I've just woken up from a nap in the midsummer sun back home but better, deeper. Nothing I've ever felt compares to it. Whenever he speaks to me I can feel my heart beat a little faster, and whenever I watch him do chores it feels like even if an angel came down from the clouds I wouldn't be able to look away from him. It's so strong at times that the thought of having to part turns my insides into this weird, churning mess that feel like they're trying to coil up like a spring ready to pop."

She looked away from the two birds to stare at Yoshikage directly with golden eyes more dour than he'd ever seen from her before. "I'm sure I love him. I've only known him just over a month, but I love him so much there's nothing, no law, no force on Earth that can stop me from being with him."

Love? Well, Kira could certainly empathise with that. What Miia was describing sounded every bit like love, a concept the inconspicuous salaryman had gotten closely acquainted with over the course of his lengthy romantic career. The thin film of agitated sweat that would break out when he sighted a particularly perfect pair of hands, the indescribable sensation of his nails rapidly forcing themselves from his fingers to become closer to talons, the barely-restrained anticipation that would cruelly toy with his mind and body as he stalked a prize he could not yet claim, the raw, unmatched pleasure that would finally flow through him like a drug in his bloodstream as he could at last permit himself to relieve his prey of her life… These were all vital pieces of that _rush_ that Yoshikage Kira lived for.

"But I-" she let out a sigh that just barely shuddered. "I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I've tried time and time again to tell him or show him that what I feel for him is stronger than any rule the Exchange can make. Even when I'm threatened with deportation and disappointing everyone back home, I'm willing to risk it all to be with him. That should be the ultimate display of devotion, right? But it's no use! He just laughs and tries to brush off my advances even though I can tell he's hiding some other feeling. And now, he chooses that new horse girl - _a_ _horse_ _girl!_ \- over _me_!"

The despair on the lamia's face grew as she talked, her voice reduced nearly to a pleading croak. Her shoulders sagged and her eyes seemed to lose that particular golden gleam as they gazed into his own, searching for an answer.

"You're good friends with Darling, right, Mr Kira? You should know how he thinks. So, what's the problem? Isn't everything I'm doing good enough for him yet? Am _I_ not good enough?"

The back of Yoshikage's neck started to clam up, pressing uncomfortable against his clothing. Damn it all, this was why he hated social situations with a passion! There was always a danger of this, where he would be expected to connect with people. What to do, how to interact beyond basic niceties, how to avoid drawing attention and creating a reputation? He despised the path fate had set him on, he despised the insane demands of the snake-woman before him, he despised her constant parade of nightly interruptions, he despised-

Wait. Hold on. A passing thought flickered like a whisper in the back of Kira's mind, small and insignificant amongst the roaring chorus of his speeding psyche. But Kira latched on, and the voice waxed. It drowned out the competition and grew increasingly appealing. Yes. Yes, that could work out _nicely_.

"Have you ever considered that you're taking the wrong approach?" Kira proposed. Miia gave him a confused look.

"Wrong approach? It needs more refining?"

"Not refining so much as a complete redesign. The problem isn't that you're not doing enough, it's that you're doing it in the worst way possible. You've lived with Kimihito for quite a while now, so you must be aware of his… _prudish disposition_ , surely?"

Miia looked like she was going to say something but stopped, thinking. "I suppose… now that you mention it, Darling does get all flustered whenever I'm forward with him…"

Kira nodded. "Kimihito isn't the type to enjoy so much intensity, which has thus far been the centre of your attempts. Am I correct?" He received a nod in reply.

"Your issue lies therein. What you consider the ultimate proclamation of love, he sees as an extremely uncomfortable situation that must be escaped. Can you imagine being put entirely outside of your comfort zone at regular intervals from the person you are meant to care for and yeah about human society? Instead of drawing him in, all your efforts have amounted to causing him unnecessary stress, maybe even pain."

The dawning look of horror on the lamia's face would have been amusing were it not for the waterworks it would undoubtedly presage. He should have chosen his words better!

"Stress? Pain? I… I never realised I was…" Like clockwork, pinpricks of salty tears started to leak from the corners of her eyes. "Oh, god, does he hate…?"

Kira quickly brought up a hand to stop a catastrophe before it started. "No, he doesn't hate you. Kimihito isn't one to harbour hate, I don't think, at least not for something as minor as that. He's too kind and lacks the capacity for it. You shouldn't worry."

The liminal's eyes lit up for a moment before Kira halted whatever words she had for him with a second flash of his palm.

"However, you _should_ worry about how you proceed from now on. Yes, he doesn't hate you, but he does have a preconception of how you go intend to about expressing your love to him, and not an unfounded one. Right now he's most likely got what you might call a defence system in place. The moment you make a move, he will assume that you are going to continue as you always have and push him too far. This will prompt him to shut himself off to further advances and brush you off as you said, rendering your efforts void even if you decide to change your ways to be more accommodating. As you could guess, this is a major problem."

Miia's head bobbed up and down slowly as if deep in thought. "Yeah… Yeah, I see. In the past I was only concerned with what I thought men liked and what Mama told me. I never stopped to consider if that was what Darling would like as an individual, or if he was ever comfortable. And now, he probably thinks I'm just a selfish idiot only in it for sex or something equally shallow." She let out a long breath. "I can't believe I've screwed up this badly. I'm doomed."

"It won't be easy to change his mind after all this time. You've made your mistakes, but now you've been made aware of them, and it's up to you to rectify them. So, will you?"

"Yeah. I can see clearly now," she said with a soft smile. "Thank you, Mr Kira, honestly. I never would have noticed what I was doing to Darling without you."

"There's no need for thanks, Miia. I'm merely helping a neighbour in need. Two of them, actually. Speaking of which, shall we go and see if they're finished down there?"

"Let's!" she exclaimed, pumping her fist in the air until a questioning eyebrow from Yoshikage brought it back to her side. She offered a sheepish chuckle. "Uh, I mean, yeah, let's."

As they walked through the sliding doors and to the top of the stairs, Miia angled her head towards him. "Hey, Mr Kira, what would you say would be a good place to start with this stuff? I've got a few ideas but I'd really like your input."

Kira's lips curled into a wry smile. "Have you considered not chasing him around at obscene hours nearly every night yelling incriminating phrases? I'm quite sure he doesn't appreciate it."

"Hm, that's a pretty good- Wait, what did you just say? How did you know what me and Darling do- er, used to do at night?" inquired the lamia with a tilt of her head and a flick of her long, red ears.

"I can hear it from my bedroom. You're noisy. I lose sleep."

"Oh. Um. Sorry." The tint always present on Miia's cheeks grew significantly deeper. So she considered interrupting a neighbour more shameful than being known for sexual deviancy? Lamias truly were an odd species. Or perhaps Miia was simply an odd girl?

"It's not me you should be apologising to," said Yoshikage, despite the fact that it was. "Fortunately I doubt it will matter when you start exercising this new self restraint yours. You do plan on that?"

Flames of determination flashed in those golden eyes of hers. Her fist impacted the palm of its twin with a loud smack. "I do! From this day forward I'll atone for everything I've done wrong by thinking before acting! No more chases, no more trouble! I'll put Darling's feelings first!"

As she slithered down the stairs all full of energy - he didn't quite understand how she managed to do that so smoothly, but that was a question for later, if ever - he couldn't help but chuckle as he mentally patted himself on the back.

' _Well, Yoshikage, you don't seem to have pruned her excessive enthusiasm, but that nightly parade of constant interruptions should be as good as over. About time, too, holding those eyelids open at work was becoming its own workout.'_

* * *

"And that brings us to now." Kimihito finished and rested his hands on his lap. He was in the kitchen with the fresh extraspecies, all three of them seated at the dining table - Centorea excepted for obvious reasons and choosing to kneel down lengthways along the table.

The young, shaggy-headed host had brought Papi and Centorea into the kitchen and over the course of a few minutes explained his neighbour's unfortunate situation. He had explained how Mr Kira had been assaulted in his own home by a couple of lunatics while his possessions were destroyed around him, culminating in permanent injury when he tried to defend what was his.

The centaur clasped a barely-touched cup of tea that had grown lukewarm and hummed in acknowledgement. "I see. So you invited your neighbour to lodge with us."

"Well, only for the night. You _are_ okay with it, right? If you've got any reservations about staying with a man you only just met then please don't worry, Mr Kira is one of the most trustworthy people I've ever met. He won't try anything. Or maybe it's an issue with bunking with so many people for the first time?"

Centorea sighed and adjusted herself so she could stare directly at the host, every motion heavy with the gravity of the situation. "Sir, you do not seem to be aware of quite how seriously the Exchange deals with misconduct. I pray, allow me to illuminate. Although it appears unreasonably lax on the surface, the Cultural Exchange considers liminal participants' safety paramount and its agents will descend like bloodhounds on any who disobey its canons without mercy. The slightest hint that a host has broken their agreement is met with instant, thorough investigation and, should that unfortunate be found guilty, they will be met with harsh punishment in the form of a jail sentence." Her eyebrows tilted inquiringly. "Do you now understand the true weight of your actions? Are you still willing to proceed with your plan?"

"Well, yeah. I already knew all that," Kimihito plainly sipped the last of his drink, not a bit of emotion painting the action.

"…Hah?" Centorea's dignified air dropped like a cinder block as the blank-faced young man across from her simply nodded his affirmation.

"I've been all read up on the material for a while now. It'd be prison for me, relocation to a new host for you three."

The centaur shot up on all four legs, rising to her maximum height in an instant. "Sir, do you mean to tell me that you invited your friend to stay the night while knowing full well that the price of discovery is indefinite incarceration?! Are you mad?!"

"Huh? In-castration?" Papi glanced up from the straw she still held in her mouth, now deformed with deep tooth marks. Kimihito grimaced. She had also been brought in as he believed she had just as much of a right to know about Mr Kira's stay as anyone else in the house, but it seemed like the harpy had been paying about as much attention as he'd expected. Oh, well, if she could strip down in public and evade the government without batting an eye, then she wasn't likely to have any inhibitions about a temporary, if illegal, guest. Besides, bigger problems yet beckoned.

"Centorea, I realise this looks bad-"

"It _is_ bad!"

"-but you have to consider the situation Mr Kira's in. He's just been attacked and had his home destroyed by people he doesn't even know. Sure, he puts on a brave face and acts like nothing's the matter, but the truth is he probably doesn't feel safe in his own home, and for good reason. Would you if you just went through what he went through?"

Her brow creased. "You have your own wallet and bank account, do you not? Paying in his place for a night in an inn is surely within your means even discounting your allowance as an extraspecies host. It would be a simple matter and of significantly reduced risk."

"Yeah, I could have just given him the money for an overnight stay at the nearest hotel, and the thought did cross my mind early on. But would that be the right option, or just the easiest one?" He deliberately missed a beat to see if his guest would respond, and took her silence as a cue to continue.

"The man offered to sleep in his own bedroom, alone in a house that could be vandalised again at any moment, just so he wouldn't be a burden on us. He knew the rule about unlicensed people staying over, you see." Kimihito shook his head with a shallow, sad smile. "Mr Kira really is a great guy."

"But even then he could still stay in a hotel. That still doesn't explain why you endanger yourself for ultimately no reason." The young woman's voice was getting strained, and the regal inflections in her speech had started to drop off.

He only shrugged. "Why would I not?"

Although unnoticed by the host, Centorea's eyes widened ever so slightly as he spoke those words. Clear, sky-blue pools grew progressively more thoughtful and misted over, as if stuck in contemplation. Her facial muscles tightened under the weight of the new thoughts that had descended upon her and what little rising and falling of her chest could be seen abruptly halted.

"Mr Kira, after taking a permanent injury, was about to put himself back in what could be a highly dangerous situation only to make sure I wouldn't take the smaller risk of going to jail. What kind of person would I be if I didn't offer up the same kind of sacrifice in the spot? A hotel can be a pretty sinister environment in the right circumstances. If he stays with us then he's with people he's known and trusted for quite a while - well, two people, no offence to _you_ two - and gets the peace of mind some impersonal hotel could never have."

Kimihito fixed the centaur with a meaningful gaze that so uncommonly graced those usually-vacant brown eyes of his. "You said you're a knight who follows a code of honour, didn't you, Centorea? In that case you should be able to relate with what I'm about to say. It isn't about the most logical thing to do; it's about doing right by a friend who needs me even if he won't admit he does."

No words came from Centorea's mouth, her eyes still focused on some point in the distance. Kimihito frowned, concerned.

"Centorea? Hello?" he hollered as he waved his hand, raised up higher than his head, in front of the centaur's still-glassy eyes. Her well-tended eyebrows climbed her forehead and her jaw hung just a bit open from which a heavy yet almost-inaudible inhale might be heard by a pair of particularly acute ears as she returned to reality. Centorea offered the host a look not dissimilar to that of a child caught with their hand in a cookie jar.

"Excuse me, sir. I was merely, ah, daydreaming," she admitted, her situation unaided by the guilty expression.

Kimihito blanched. "Wait, you didn't hear _any_ of that?! And I was so sure I sounded really cool, too…"

"N-No, no! I assure you I heard every word!" Centorea desperately asserted, flapping her arms before her in an effort to placate the dejected host. "I see now that your cause, though foolish, is noble and true. It is as you say; as a knight I cannot ignore your neighbour's plight."

Kimihito looked up, almost unbelieving. "Wait, so you won't demand that Mr Kira leaves?"

She grinned and shook her head, making the blond ponytail swish to and fro. "No, sir. Your terrible secret is safe with me."

The beaming smile he gave her next caused her throat to tense and her heart to do the strangest flutter. Before she had time to ruminate on what that meant, however, the sound of a pair of feet and one long tail descending the staircase interrupted the silence otherwise opposed only by Papi still entertaining herself with her straw.

Kimihito made a noise in his throat as he looked in the noise's general direction. "Wow, right on time. Guess we'd better go and tell them you're on board." With that he started walking away, but paused just before disappearing through the doorway.

"Oh, and Centorea? Thanks." He smiled, far softer this time but no less grateful, much in the same way her heart's flutter was no less surprising.

What did it mean? Never had she felt anything remotely similar to that feeling of lightness and energy, like getting pierced through the heart with a knife made of adrenaline for a split-second before having it drawn out just as fast, leaving an empty hole that pooled with confusion rather than blood. The way her host so readily offered up his own safety to help a friend in need as if it came as naturally as his next breath, those thankful smiles…

She shook her head. It was all to confusing. She was a little thankful that more important matters called for her attention, a welcome distraction from…

"Come along, Papi," Centorea murmured, her attention elsewhere even as she tugged along the harpy demanding to know who the woman pulling her was by her side.

 **-To be continued in chapter 14: Full Moon-**

* * *

 **I remember when I said the next chapter wouldn't take months. What a disappointment that turned out to be. Sorry.**


	14. Full Moon

It was hot that night in Asaka, one that would go down in history as one of the hottest ever recorded. A thick, oppressive humidity hung uninvited in the air and snuck slick, vaporous tendrils down the city's many throats, making every breath harder than it should have been and bearing down on skin and lungs with far more abandon that any daylight hour.

Of course, Yoshikage knew that it was all an elaborate illusion on physics' part. Heat that had been trapped in the Kurusu house's walls radiated outward as the air itself cooled, creating a greater disparity between hot and cold that was more easily felt by anyone trying to focus on anything except the heat and get a nice eight hours of rest. Add that onto one's own body working against them and you had a recipe for an awfully restless night. There wasn't even a girlfriend to indulge in to take his mind off of current events, dangerous as it would be to keep one here.

He was leaking sweat as a burst pipe leaks water, turning his hair to sticky strands that always seemed to drag along his scalp no matter how many times he brushed them away, like the plague of mosquitoes that can't seem to be stemmed no matter how many bug nets are deployed or buzzing little demons crushed. To think, he had come into this house expecting the liminal houseguest to be his primary aggressors when it had turned out to be himself.

' _Ironic,'_ he thought.

Looking out of the window next to his bed, above the cold radiator, he could see the perfectly rounded face of the full moon. It hung in the sky like a fat blot of white paint against a background of messy black tar, surrounded by much smaller pinpricks that represented the stars from distant space. He had always found that interesting, how enormous objects could look so minute in comparison to something much closer simply because of the observer's perspective. He supposed the whole concept was like himself, in a way. People would look upon the tiny, shining facade he constructed and never once noticing his real nature hidden only just behind it, totally absorbed with what was right in their face as they were, never thinking to look behind them. And weren't the mechanics of stars and their life cycles so much more fascinating, more beautiful, more honest, than the lifeless surface of a natural satellite, just as the pursuit and eventual climax of a body turning to ash at the tip of Killer Queen's finger was the truest form of Yoshikage Kira as opposed to some lifeless office worker who knew no purpose outside of pleasing whatever bosses he served at his desk?

The amorphous stellar nebula that so resembled his Stand's formlessness inside his soul, the familiar itch building up and surging beneath his skin in the form of an inescapable sphere of nuclear energy. The unbearable expansion as more time passed and it became harder to conceal as it let off ever more light that slipped through new crack in his mask. The supernova of freedom as he cast off his social shackles and poured everything that was Yoshikage Kira into the next unsuspecting woman on his list. The black hole that developed with extended age, able to bend space and even time itself, unconquerable, living forever.

All shoved behind a giant rock.

That glowing moon was his life's great act. It would draw the attention of the unaware away from the infinite cosmos but always bind him. He couldn't reach it with a bomb, and even if he could what good would it do? It would always be there, mocking him from a distance.

Still, for all he looked he never managed to see even a hint of a rabbit up there. In his opinion people were just deluding themselves with that one.

Kira sighed and wiped his brow, his hand coming back coated with sweat. The scent of water vapour in the atmosphere again greeted his nose when he inhaled. This was getting ridiculous. It was Japanese summer, of course, but Kimihito had the air conditioning turned on throughout the house and Kira was lying naked except for a pair of baggy boxer shorts, his bedsheets banished to the foot of his bed. If he didn't know any better he would have assumed he was coming down with a case of the common cold.

Maybe that _was_ it, some sort of mysterious illness. To say the thought was troubling would have been an understatement; Yoshikage Kira did not tolerate any potential source of stress and disease certainly fit the description. Perhaps he should check his temperature? Kimihito likely had a thermometer in his bathroom somewhere, a good place to start. The clammy blond doubted his neighbour would mind.

Unlike Kira's own house, Kimihito's main bathroom and toilet were on the ground floor while only a small room, more akin to a cupboard in all honesty, containing nothing but a matching toilet and sink could be found upstairs, a little down the hall from him. Kira supposed that his neighbour's layout made more sense, and he wondered why their homes were so different despite being built at similar times. Right now, though, he was cursing whatever architect designed this place for giving him another floor and an entire set of stairs to silently traverse.

Kira lifted himself from the mattress, the covering clinging to his sweat-covered back before peeling away with a sickly sensation. After taking a moment to throw on the spare bathrobe that Kimihito had luckily felt the need to lend him - a tad baggy around the waist, what with the article originally belonging to Kimihito's rather generously-proportioned father - for dignity's sake, he was on his way. Trying not to think about how he had been stewing in his own perspiration he went on light feet, determined not to draw any attention to himself in an otherwise-asleep househo-

 _Scrape._

The hairs on the back of Kira's neck stood on end as the heat was far-too-quickly replaced by the coldness of unease. A pink glow surrounded him as Killer Queen stepped out into the world, its unblinking eyes and protective posture the very definition of alertness. Kira craned his ear against the crack in his door.

His mind was a blur as it raced over the possible scenarios. Burglars, if he was lucky. That would be nice. They'd be easy to deal with, especially if the rest of the household hadn't fought onto their presence yet. If he wasn't lucky, though - an unnervingly common state of existence for him nowadays - he could be in for another encounter with an enemy Stand user.

His teeth ground together, his fingernails began to itch and he might have started sweating even more were it possible. Where was this seemingly endless flow of new foes coming from, how could he stem it? What hornet's nest had he somehow managed to kick this time? Yoshikage Kira was a man who went so far as to spit in the face of death to escape his antagonists, yet they never stopped approaching, eyes wicked and sickle-shaped grins bared like demons as they skulked out of their pits towards him with the sole intention of burning everything he was to the ground. Morioh had been snatched from him thirteen months ago by a cabal of self-righteous children playing with powers they barely understood and a sense of righteousness too strong for their own good, and now this alternate Asaka he called home seemed to be headed the same way. How very, very, _very_ infuriating.

Tension turned to anger, the pink flames flared brighter and higher, more furiously. So, they wanted to fight, did they? Those self-absorbed vigilantes wanted to disrupt his peace, push him to the very brink and then further? Well, fine! Let them come! He was sick of hiding like a sewer rat in the shadows, it brought shame to the modern apex predator he was! He would teach them, teach them all what happened to those who knew the real Yoshikage Kira!

 _Scrape._ And there it was again. As though something large and heavy was being dragged across the hardwood floor. And it was getting closer.

Stepping backwards but still listening as closely as ever, he realised that it wasn't a series of repeating sounds, but rather one long sound that varied in amplitude at regular intervals. The tension faded to give way to a now-reactionary mild annoyance. Of course, something wasn't being dragged, something was dragging itself. Kira had a fairly good idea of the culprit.

But what was Miia doing up at this time? Could she, too, be feeling the heat a little too much to be comfortable? But that would be odd, too odd. If lamias were as close to snakes as his - admittedly limited - knowledge suggested, then she would welcome such high temperatures with open arms. Or perhaps _that_ was the problem, if too little heat could cause lethargy then it wasn't a stretch to assume too much heat might result in restlessness as with other poikilotherm species. She was probably on her way to the bathroom to cool off in the shower.

' _It would be better to stay here and wait,'_ he mused.

Gradually she slithered on by, her lengthy tail audibly undulating outside his door, almost stealthy were it not for the hard wooden floorboards betraying her. But as the last bit of her tail passed and she reached approximately where the stairs would be he heard not more dragging sounds of a tail that scraped and dropped onto step after wooden step in contrast to the rest of the otherwise silent household, but instead total silence. She had stopped.

Had she ran out of confidence when it came to the stairs? Surely not, she had conquered them earlier with shockingly little noise and had lived here over a month. But if she wasn't going to the bathroom then where _was_ she going? Spurred on by uncharacteristic curiosity he moved closer to the door and eased it open, his movement barely visible to the human eye it was so gradual to retain utter silence.

As soon as a crack no wider than a few centimetres opened he peeked through it, looking towards the source of the sounds. Sure enough, he instantly spotted the end of a long, muscular serpent's tail that he soon traced along its scales to Miia's upper body. She was parked outside the door of none other than Kimihito, a fact that brought a lance of annoyance through Kira's mind. The foolish snake, was she deaf as well as stupid? Had his expert advice gone into one ear and straight out of the other? Yes, he may have had ulterior motives on that balcony, but that didn't change the fact that his input would be purely beneficial to her romantic pursuit, illegal though it may be. Yet here she was, about to ignore every word he'd given her and ruin another night just as he'd known she surely would. Were it not for the sake of silence Kira would have huffed in indignation.

Yet, upon closer inspection, something about Miia seemed… _off_. Kira could barely see more than her outline, but that was enough to notice her posture was no longer the energetic, almost jagged series of movements he knew but instead something smooth that flowed like fine wine. Calculated, yet entirely effortless. In the limited light from the moon that crept in through the window he could see her skin had changed too. It appeared to shine damply in the moonlight, wet and supple with a film of sweat Kira was certain a poikilotherm could not produce and radiate an almost erotic heat that Kira was certain a poikilotherm could not emit. She had a similar yet definitely distinct aura than usual, one that spoke less of a childlike crush and instead exuded something more mature, more certain. If he wasn't mistaken the lamia was even wearing some form of translucent lingerie complete with lace outlines, and despite her usual libidinous attitude he got the impression that it wasn't something she'd commonly wear.

Yes, this wasn't the girl that went unsubtly crashing about at ungodly hours. She looked to have donned an entirely different persona tonight. But why? What was the occasion?

As Kira pondered whether or not he himself was to blame for this sudden manifestation of self-assuredness, the errant lamia softly rapped on the door twice, each knock hardly even audible, and slowly opened the door.

"Darling…" she whispered, sticking her head through the newly created gap. "You still awake?"

"Miia?" Kira heard Kimihito's confused, slightly lethargic voice drift from within the room. It seemed Miia had woken him up. As inconsiderate as she was predictable.

"I couldn't sleep. Can we talk?" She asked, voice quiet yet not meek or apprehensive as she slipped in before even getting confirmation.

"Uh, it's a little late, but sure. You seem kind of-" Kimihito's whispered reply was suddenly cut off as though caught in his throat as a light clicked on. So, he'd finally seen what she was wearing.

"I'm really glad you said that, Darling…" Miia said, her voice hissing and husky. "You're so considerate…"

The snake's tail disappeared behind the door just before it was pressed shut, leaving only the sound of muffled conversation - or rather the muffled pleading of one prudish young adult coupled with the affections of his inhuman housemate - filtering under the door.

The coast clear, Kira exhaled through his nose once again and with a roll of his eyes began to creep to his original destination. The stairs were just across from Kimihito's room, which meant that if he wanted to stay unnoticed Kira would have to be especially silent. Channeling his inner stalker was usually effortless, given that was his most natural state, yet using it for something so mundane as sneaking to a bathroom wasn't something Kira had ever imagined doing and almost threatened to throw him off. Yet it was simple enough to imagine himself creeping through the residence of a girlfriend-to-be, and before he knew it he was on the ground floor and inside without a sound.

Kira fingered along the wall for the light switch, taking care not to confuse it with the one for the ventilation fan, and was bathed in light as he took in the bathroom. However, it was not the bathroom he was prepared for.

The entire room was at least twice as long as the already-large one he remembered, and had received a complete makeover. Circular lights lined the walls at regular intervals, covering the entire space with soft, yellowish-white light, Instead of the quaint porcelain bathtub in the corner, Kira was greeted by a giant thing, a tile-plated behemoth that took up almost half of all floor space. Next to it was a shower below a mirror significantly wider than any human would need and above a shelf of assorted soaps, shampoos and scrubs. On the opposite side of the room was the cabinet he'd been looking for.

Opening the door and scanning through toiletries soon brought Kira to a thermometer, a sophisticated digital model. He gave it a quick rinse in the sink, put it in his mouth and, upon seeing the reading adopted an expression of pure horror.

' _38.7 degrees Celsius! Barely a hair's breadth away from a serious fever!'_ He tested the thermometer again in hopes that it was a fluke, but the digital numbers still flashed the same.

Kira barely noticed the fingers in his mouth. Goodness, he needed to get in contact with his doctor, find some ice to alleviate the growing heat, drink plenty of-

He was ripped from his slew of concerns by the sound of glass shattering. Instantly he was on high alert, all discomforts set aside as his senses were magnified in their effectiveness. The lights became uncomfortably bright, his nose singled out individual scents from the floral assortment of soaps, the slightest of his movements sent a wave of sensation across the disturbed hairs from the artificial wind, a coppery tang stemming from his nail beds overtook his mouth.

He could clearly hear the sounds of a scuffle upstairs.

Damn! _Damn!_ Could it be more Stand users already? In Morioh it had been days between Shigechi Yangu's murder and his encounter with Jotaro Kujo and Koichi Hirose at the tailor's. Now, barely twenty four hours had passed and he was already being accosted again! Whoever these assailants were, these allies of Vino, Fusilli and Ala, they were ten times as bloodthirsty as Jotaro Kujo's cabal. And to attack a home involved with the Cultural Exchange, with no less than three extraspecies houseguests? They were ten times as bold, too. That, or they were _very_ confident in their abilities. Still, whether that confidence was well-founded had yet to be tested, and test it Yoshikage would.

Sucking his fingers clean of the rivulets of ruby liquid running down them, Kira switched off the lights and allowed his most dangerous side to emerge as he crept out into the hall. Killer Queen manifested slowly, deliberately, barely even translucent next to its user. Through its impeccable feline-like eyesight and their shared bond Kira could see even better in the dim moonlight, his Stand's eyes efficiently lapping up whatever meagre moonbeams they could catch and translating it into an image tinted slightly red.

Voices drifted down the stairs. His housemates, definitely in some sort of panic. Kimihito's was the most audible, a series of terrified yelps.

The safest option would be staying downstairs, letting everyone up above die so as to buy himself some time to set up a trap. Kira expected to feel that familiar instinct for self-preservation that told him to make every sacrifice, take every shortcut, to discard everyone as pawns as long as it would guarantee his own safety.

Yet something small and otherwise insignificant chewed at his thoughts like a gnat, something foreign, alien, to the Stand user. It was a mere whisper in his ear, but it hounded him with all the gusto of an orchestra. It urged him to climb the stairs. It sounded almost like his young neighbour, Kimihito.

What just happened? Did he, Yoshikage Kira, really feel the desire to save someone despite the risk to himself?

He shook his head rigidly. ' _No, I must simply be worried about the tactical disadvantage of them losing their lives. Were they to die now, with me in the house, the government investigation could crush my peace of mind forever. That's all! Besides, I might be able to get the drop on the enemy while they're distracted instead of giving them time to mentally recover. That would be a valuable tactical advantage.'_

Kira continued down the hall, his well-trained feet leaving only the softest of sticking noises as he edged his way along the parts he knew would produce the least noise even as he passed through the hall and ascended the stairs. The sounds of commotion, verifiably from Kimihito's room now, grew ever louder, but the experienced Stand user was not deterred in the slightest. He moved like a phantom, not a single creak rising from the almost-icy floorboards-

A door next to him shot wide open, whipping his hair and revealing a towering, ink-black shadow of a person standing behind it who held in their hands a wicked blade that flashed insidiously in the meagre illumination that reached in. Killer Queen, ever dutifully by Kira's side, made with a powerful punch that was only held back from caving in the skull of the monstrous silhouette when he noticed the outline of some rather telling furry ears on its head.

Centorea stared at Yoshikage with wide eyes, completely oblivious to the Stand's fist held barely a centimetre from her smoothed, noble features. Her face was only barely visible, moonlight from the nearby landing windows exposing more and more of her human half as she leant out from the doorframe.

"Mr… ah, Kira?" She inquisitively loomed over him, using her extra inches of height to great effect.

"That would be me, yes," he whispered somewhat rigidly, trying to recover from the pounding heartbeat that filled his throat as Killer Queen awkwardly retracted its arm. There were times to be thankful for Stands' invisibility; this was definitely one of them.

She quickly lowered the sword to her waist and bowed. "A-Ah, I apologise! I was roused by the sound of breaking glass and prepared for combat as quickly as I could." Those words seemed to spur her back into action, hastily reentering her combat stance and nearly taking the tip of Kira's nose as she pulled the weapon back up were it not for a helpful nudge from Killer Queen. "T-That reminds me! Our good sir is in mortal peril!"

With that she dashed out of the room, Kira barely avoiding her ungainly equine half as it manoeuvred through the too-small doorway and straight past him. Taking a quick glance into her room, the salaryman noticed the vague shapes of moving boxes, what appeared to be uninstalled traditional Japanese decor and… a faint scent of hay?

' _Bah, there's no time for that! I've got to-'_

Kira didn't get time to finish the thought, for he was interrupted by one of the loudest non-explosive noises he'd ever heard. Looking in its direction of origin he found that Centorea, rather than simply open the door, had instead elected to smash it off of its hinges with her great weight and was now standing on it, flattened against the floor like some rigid carpet as it was. The disjointed twitching that came from underneath it didn't bode well either.

"Ahh, I was too late!" came Centorea's dismayed cry.

With a shake of his head Kira rushed to the scene, but any words of reprimand he would've spoken were caught in his throat when he saw the carnage inside.

There was the smashed window he'd heard, the echoes of the city's perpetual motion drifting over the vast swathe of soundly sleeping rooftops amidst nighttime noises like chirping insects and the odd yowling feline. Mismatched slivers of broken glass decorated the surrounding floor and furniture, ranging in size from ugly shards to powder that lay scattered like a fine dusting of icing sugar upon a cake. On the bed was one seemingly stunned Miia, who too was covered in shards of glass as her eyelids fluttered and pained groans escaped her lips. He could properly see her outfit now, just as lewd and lacy as he'd suspected. The tasteful translucency was a thoughtful touch, though, he'd give her that.

He looked downward. At the mettlesome centaur's hooves were Kimihito and Papi, the latter still trying to dazedly drag herself from beneath her wooden prison and the former pitifully clutching at the back of his head. Kira frowned as another sudden needle of thought struck him in the depths of his mind. There it was again, that uncharacteristic desire to jump into action for his neighbour's sake. He liked Kimihito, yes, but such thoughts were still disturbingly out of character, especially now that danger was nowhere to be seen.

Even then, though, the relief he felt at there being neither a Stand nor Stand user to be found was difficult to ignore. The sudden resurgence of Stand users in his life had burst completely out of the blue and, truth be told, he hadn't been able to truly, properly relax ever since the Lakeside incident even if there weren't extraspecies living next door. His constant fear of another Morioh he'd forced down still bit and nibbled at his flesh like a viral infection, leaving him a bundle of nerves ready to recoil and bite at the slightest prodding from danger. Getting to holster the proverbial pistol for once was a wonderful feeling.

Not that he'd taken his hand off the grip completely, however. Killer Queen's faintest of outlines yet hovered behind its master, ready to intervene at any moment. Stand user or not, something was wrong here, and for the sake of keeping peace of mind Kira would find out what.

"Ahhhh, I was too late!" dispaired Centorea. Oh, well, at least she'd had the decency to move off the door and help the man up.

"Centorea? Mr Kira?" Kimihito swayed precariously as Kira and Centorea each stealing him with a hand on a shoulder. "Man, my head hurts…"

"You may be concussed. We should get you to a doctor as soon as possible," Kira said as he quickly checked each of Kimihito's eyes. The young man just cradled his head.

"it doesn't make sense," he said, "why are they both so riled up?"

"I know why."

The two men turned to Centorea, who had stepped over to the gaping hole in the wall that used to be a window.

"You do?" Kira asked, eyebrow quirked.

"Indeed." She gestured to the sky. "'Tis the full moon! A night that calls out the basest of instincts with utmost force!"

' _The full moon?'_ Kira thought. ' _Now that I think, I'm certain I've heard something about that. Then that means…'_

"These two have obviously given in to tonight's temptations and lost themselves in their primal lust…" The centaur pointed one immaculately manicured finger at Kimihito. "Lust for you, sir!"

"L-Lust?! T-That's- don't go around saying incriminating stuff like that!" Kimihito suddenly forgot his pain and turned to her with a face of scandalised crimson. "People might get the wrong idea, then I really _will_ go to jail!"

A stray thought suddenly crossed Yoshikage's mind. "Hold on. If extraspecies lose their reasoning on full moons, then Centorea-"

The salaryman was almost knocked over by the sudden force of Kimihito grabbing him shoulders.

"Mr Kira! It's not what you think, there's no lust or anything between me and Miia, or Papi, o-or anyone!" the young man pleaded with frantic eyes. "I'd never take advantage any girl like that, especially a liminal one… no, wait, that sounds even worse! W-What I'm trying to say is I'd _never_ break the law under _any_ circumstance-"

"Yet is it not true that you invited your neighbour to stay here without express permission from the Cultural Exchange, a gross breach of contract?" Centorea butted in helpfully, or maybe unhelpfully. Before the sputtering man could build back up to a response, she looked at Kira with a dismissive hand wave. "You have nothing to fear, sir. While the full moon's pull is indeed powerful, these girls were likely overcome by it because they are untutored in the art of resistance. I, on the other hand, am a proud, upstanding servant of justice trained for years in many knightly fields, amongst them being self-control. I would never allow carnal desire to override my senses, especially during such an important mission!"

The centaur shot a wide, fiery grin and strode with purpose halfway through the door, her hind end sticking out into the hall while the one holding a sword ventured inside what would undoubtedly soon become the chamber of a grand battle. She had become an immovable sentinel, a chivalrous bulwark between her host and dangers both physical and legal.

"Centorea…" was Kimihito's hushed, awed response, the beginnings of a smile on him semi-bruised face.

But Kira wasn't at ease just yet. The centaur's dedication to her cause certainly spoke volumes of her iron will, but perhaps overly so?

"Kimihito," Kira leaned in close and whispered to his friend, "do you see anything wrong about the way Centorea's acting?"

The younger man frowned. "What do you mean? She said she's got the willpower to resist the full moon and now she's proving it."

"Yes, but don't you think she's acting a little _too_ chivalrous? I could understand if she looked to only be doing her job, but fighting for a person you've only just met so enthusiastically? The way she was looking at you there felt as if there was something more to that speech, something that shouldn't have been there. An _outside influence_."

Kimihito's eyes widened as he cottoned on to Kira's implication. They turned their heads to the centaur warily, who was still watching the two other liminals like a hawk, and then back to each other.

"Well, now that you mention it…" Kimihito started nervously, "she did look… _weird_ when I told her you'd be sleeping over. She had this look in her eyes, like she wasn't all there. She had the same look just now. You don't think that…?"

Kira nodded gravely. "It's safer to assume so than not. Unfortunate as it may be, we only have ourselves to rely on right now."

"Then what should we do?"

"Run."

As if on cue, a great clamour arose behind them. They turned to see Centorea's legs straining against great red coils, standing fast yet being slowly overcome. Miia was back in fighting shape, it seemed.

"We need to move, quickly!" Kira urged, grabbing Kimihito's wrist and dragging him along like unwilling luggage. He cleared the stairs in two long bounds while the younger man had to break contact and run down normally. Behind them, the battle grew louder.

"Hurry up!"

"I'm not as fit as you!"

Their bickering stopped as the sound of scrabbling claws on wood and a "get back here, feather-headed simpleton!" from Centorea reached them, presaging the worst. Kira's eyes darted from side to side frantically until they settled on an adequate target.

Kira yanked open a nearby cupboard door. "In here!" the blond urged, shoving the younger man inside before he could protest and slamming it shut again. Not a second too soon, either, as down the stairs at that moment came a battered, panting and _very_ feral-looking harpy.

Papi had perched halfway up the stairs, slick black talons sinking into the wood with far more force than usual. She was hunched over like an animal with her massive wings fully flared, a dead ringer for some great bird of prey examining a fresh piece of meat. Her hair was wild, shaggy with exertion and plain carelessness. Her savage gaze fixed with his own, golden irises shimmering with unadulterated hunger. With her body exposed like this, Kira could really see just how bad the fight above had been.

Centorea's valiant stand had certainly done a number on Papi. An impressive assortment of cuts, welts and bruises checkered the avian extraspecies' body, notable amongst them a prominent limp, a black eye and a busted lip still dripping blood. Kira briefly pondered what that would mean for the Exchange before setting it aside in favour of more current events.

"Yellow Man…" she growled heavily, husky yet tinted with undeniable danger, "where's Boss?"

"That way." Kira said, not missing a beat as he pointed back up the stairs behind her. The harpy let out a delighted crow before she turned and barrelled away like a missile, leaving a generous trail of loose feathers drifting to the ground behind her.

Satisfied that the danger had passed, Kira opened the closet and reached for Kimihito again, heading for the door. "Come on, she's gone. We need to get you out of here, somewhere they won't think to look at least until sunrise. My house is no good, Miia would guess that in an instant, but the supermarket is open twenty-four-seven even on weekend, it should-"

Kira suddenly noticed that at some point in his monologue Kimihito had yanked his arm from Yoshikage's grip and now stood a few feet away, his expression apologetic yet hard and sure as steel.

Kira beckoned hurriedly. "What are you doing? Get moving, even Papi won't fall for that one for long!"

Kimihito shook his head. "I can't do that, Mr Kira."

" _What?_ " Kira hissed incredulously.

"The girls aren't themselves. We can't blame them for what they're doing. But society at large _will_. Just think, a guy and his recently-assaulted houseguest get chased down by crazed monsters while they turn on each other and rampage unsupervised around the city like wild animals, spitting in the face of every law they swore to respect when they signed up for the program? People against interspecies coexistence would eat up all the chaos like free candy, tearing down everything that's been worked for all these years. All the struggles of the Exchange, the leaps of faith made by both humanity and the extraspecies kingdoms, the hopes of every happy family living with a liminal under its roof… it'll all be for nothing if this gets out!"

Kira shook his head, he just couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And you'd quite literally risk your _life_ to prevent that outcome?"

"I have to."

Kira strode towards the younger man with an outstretched hand. "You're being ridiculous. Just follow me." However, Kimihito stepped out of range.

Kimihito stood tall, his eyes alight with determined fire. "You're free to get out of here if you want, Mr Kira, but I'm not leaving." He ran further down the hall, into the second left door that led to the kitchen. Into _potential danger_.

' _Follow him,'_ the voice urged. Kira groaned as he started after his neighbour. He really would have to do something about that little mental nuisance later.

He stepped through the door, making sure to close it behind him, and took a moment to absorb his surroundings. Thanks to the enormous sliding glass doors taking up most of the opposite wall it was better-lit than the rest of the building, allowing him to clearly see his neighbour crouched beside the table. The younger man appeared to be completely focused on fiddling with something in his hands, whispered curses coming from his hunched form. Kira tiptoed over and crouched beside him. "Kimihito."

"Gk-!" The host almost jumped out of his skin, nearly dropping whatever he was fumbling with. "Mr Kira, could you please not sneak up on me like that?"

Peering over the other's shoulder, Yoshikage saw that the thing Kimihito was messing with was actually his phone. The colourful LCD screen was set to its lowest brightness - smart - and displayed an icon of a ringing phone pending acceptance. It was just a shame that Kira was so very put off by the name Kimihito was trying to call.

"You think that Smith will be able to help us now?" Kira gave Kimihito a sceptical look.

Kimihito shrugged. "Miss Smith _is_ my coordinator, maybe she'll know what to do?" It was much more of a hopeful question than a definite statement of fact, and both of them knew it.

"Truly, the confidence the Exchange inspires is unshakeable," Kira deadpanned.

After seconds that the tension extended to feel like minutes the call went through and Kimihito's face immediately brightened with relief. With urgency great enough that he nearly struck himself upside the head in his haste, he began verbally unloading into the microphone.

"Miss Smith, thank _God_ you picked up! Listen, it's a full moon tonight and Papi and Miia have gone nuts! They're all riled up for… u-uh, some reason! Centorea managed to keep control, she's holding Miia back but Papi managed to slip past. It's only a matter of time before she finds-" The unbroken torrent of words suddenly halted for a moment, a quizzical expression taking shape on his face. "Uh, Miss Smith?"

Kira's jaw tensed. "What's the matter?"

Kimihito turned his head. "She's just talking over me, like I'm not there."

"What? Give it here," Kira said, swiping the device from his neighbour's hand and pressing it to his own ear. "Smith!" He spoke in a low breath. "What are you doing? We're trapped in the kitchen, do your job and help us!"

He listened closely to the scratchy audio, just able to make out words in the background. "Hmm, this coffee tastes a little off… Manako, be a dear and grab me a sugar sachet, would you?"

Kira barely held in his shocked sputtering. A client of her agency was coming to her in a time of great need, and she would ignore them in favour of coffee?! She wasn't even at her phone! What sort of blundering, substandard government would ever hire someone even slightly as negligent at their job as her, much less allow them to rise to a position of such gravity? The voice that sounded like Kimihito was getting _very_ riled up.

Before the little voice could goad him into a veritable barrage of venom-tipped criticism he, at that time, very much wanted to indulge in, however, he was stopped by further noise from the receiver.

"Oh, right, I forgot! Yeah, this is Agent Kuroko Smith. You've reached my voicemail since I'm probably doing something super-important right now. Leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you when I can." A click and a piercing beep followed, then there was only silence.

"…Stupid, arrogant…" He pushed the phone back into Kimihito's waiting hands and momentarily set aside his simmering disdain to focus on the task at hand.

"Well?" Kimihito asked, hopeful but obviously expecting the worst.

"It was just voicemail," Kira said, standing up briefly to scan for danger before hunching back over. "She didn't give you a secondary contact?"

Kimihito scratched his shaggy black mane. "Uh, I don't think so. Maybe there's something in one of the pamphlets?"

Kira resisted the urge to drag a palm down his face. "Then we have to think of a way to keep you hidden until sunrise. Do you have any ideas?"

Kimihito rested his chin on his fingers for a moment, eyes closed and frowning, then met Kira's eyes. "I think I have a plan. We need to be fast, though, we don't have long."

* * *

Miia nursed her many bruises as she carefully slithered her way down the stairs, retreating from the still-raging conflict behind her. Every movement stung a little, speaking volumes of Centorea's martial prowess. It was fortunate, then, that two opponents proved to be too much to handle; had it not been for Papi's unexplained return after slipping out of the centaur's grasp she would still be stuck in an unwinnable battle, unable to gain even the slightest bit of ground.

Of course, Miia would not make the same mistake. Now it was her harpy housemate trapped up there, and she had no intention of going back to fight a bit more when both of her opponents had so kindly rendered each other non-issues. It was difficult to savour her small victory, though, when she considered her current state.

Pale skin had been peppered with purple-green bruises and even rent open in places, weeping thin red lines down her body. Her hair was desperately in need of another makeover, previously perfect silken ropes now tarnished, sticking out every which way. Even the lace outfit Mama had packed specially for her had been ruined, with some of the bows missing and a not-insubstantial number of tears running down it. She pinched a particularly torn part of it between her fingers like something unpleasant before letting it float gracelessly back down.

Stupid, stupid centaur. If she had an echidna's fangs she would have pumped that lumbering horse carcass with enough venom to drop a herd of zebras.

But it would all be fine, because now nothing could stand in the way of her and Darling's love. She could feel it in her very bones whenever she looked up at that glorious, resplendent sphere in the night sky. It was meant to be. _They_ were meant to be!

The floorboards told her everything she needed to know. With her facial pit she could sense the hot footprints left behind on the cold wood, leading all the way into the dining room. Miia giggled.

"Hide all you want, but I'll always find you, Darling…"

With inhuman strength she threw open the door and darted inside with the speed of a natural-born predator. Her pupils wide pits in a sea of gold that drank in the moonlight and glowed like ravenous lamps, she raised up on her coils to finally trap…

…Nothing.

Miia let out a disappointed huff. "Hmph. Making things harder than they need to be… It's endearing, but only for so long."

She grinned, her fangs glinting. All was not lost, though. She still had warm tracks, which meant Darling was still close. Very close. Like a liquid she flowed across the floor, using her hands as support as she crawled close to the floor like a bloodhound. Heat never lied.

Miia was forced to stop when she came up against the counter. Climbing it, she was met with a powerful heat signature that dwarfed even human body heat. Sadly, though, this was no hidden Darling, but rather the kitchen kettle.

Miia's eyebrows quirked. Interesting. Had Darling prepared for this, having prior knowledge of a lamia's facial pit? To think of leading her astray, using her own specialised sense against her…

Miia sighed. "Is this what I've got to look forward to? I _know_ the older girls back home didn't have to deal with this. But, then again…"

The lamia looked to sense another trail of heated, foot-shaped spots leading off into the living room, growing more intense as her face approached. She cracked a sultry, predatory grin while she wrapped a sharp-nailed hand around the doorknob.

"Working for it _is_ kind of fun."

Miia threw open the door and was immediately met with a faceful of stinging yellow light. Her pupils immediately contracted in an attempt to protect the retinas, and when the smudges on her vision quickly cleared she was able to lay eyes on the object of her quest.

Kimihito met her gaze from the armchair he was draped across, his eyes heavy-lidded and lustful, nothing like the cornered animal she'd though he was. Of course, looks could be deceiving but there was an old tale that said hearts didn't lie, and in lamia culture it just so happened to be a little more literal. A certain rigidity tinged his posture. The lustful eyes only went as deep as the eyelids as trepidation clearly swum through the dark brown pools below. A vibrant tingling in the most animalistic part of her brain seemed to make him glow with hazy pink, almost as if she could _see_ the heat radiating from his thundering circulatory system that revealed his true feelings. So much energy, so very much more abundant than normal. Miia ran her serpentine tongue across the smooth enamel of her fangs. Luxurious, warm, adrenaline-filled blood, coursing through a body just begging to be linked with hers…

Adorable of him, to put on such a convincing act even when so obviously nervous about something so harmless, so pure, as sealing their love. Surely this was proof that she was wanted, proof that she was loved! Deep down he certainly felt just the same as she did, after all! The drumming of his heart told her so! She wanted to teach it, and she wanted to learn from it. Together they'd finally explore the most sacred of bonds, the deepest of meanings, and every eager inch of each other...

"Darling," Miia hissed, her voice like steam escaping through a cracked pipe, "why have you stopped running? I'm almost disappointed~"

The young man swallowed before quickly re-donning a confident mask. "In the short time between here and the bedroom, Miia, I've been thinking. About you."

Miia raised an eyelid. "Just me?"

"Well, truth be told, I've been thinking about all of you girls-" he began, but wisely backtracked when he heard the low growl emanating from the lamia's throat. "Wait, listen to what I'm about to say!"

He inhaled before continuing, meeting her gaze with a steel that, though still tinged with apprehension, hadn't been present before but definitely was now. "You've only lived with me for a short while, but I feel like you're the closest person in my life right now. Through all of the talking and learning and living together, it's like we've bonded in a way that I never have with anyone else. I honestly can't imagine going back to a life without you."

"O-Oh?" Miia has to stop herself from blinking like an idiot at those words. Euphoria bubbled up inside her as she listened to his steady heartbeat. Right now, he was telling the absolute truth.

"That's right. At first I wasn't sure whether it was just because I was lonely recently, or because that's just how a bond between a liminal and a human feels. But I've been meeting so many new people recently and even gained two more liminal housemates, and none of them make me feel the way you do."

He reached outward and held her sharp-nailed hand in his own as her breathing deepened and words failed her. It was as if she was actually feeling her pupils dilate as she drank in that plain, shaggy-headed, utterly flawless visage she adored so very much.

"A-And that's why," he continued, "I think we should, um, stop these pointless games and finally make our relationship official! Right here, right now!"

The moon-addled brain of Miia could barely process the words it was finally hearing, had wanted to hear for so long, had dreamed of hearing every torturous night for weeks on end. What she always knew to be true in her heart of hearts had at last been confirmed by the only external source that mattered. No longer would she have to agonisingly second-guess her own feelings. No longer would she need to fret over possible rivals with attributes avian, equine or otherwise. Darling said he loved her! He loved her, he loved her, _he loved her!_

But even under the full moon, Miia somehow retained enough sense to know deep down that something wasn't quite right. She knew for a fact that her Darling wasn't much of a liar, and even if he was her currently-heightened senses could gaze into his very heart to discern any discrepancy. His current heart rate upon talking of relationships, unlike the nervous yet steady thrum of a minute ago, was somewhat devoid of the earlier honesty and fluttered like a hummingbird stuck in a cage with a viper. Like he was lying. Like he was setting a trap.

Alarm bells of higher thought finally pushed through the cacophony of love infecting her every brainwave and screamed at her to look, to sniff out, to examine the man before her and figure out just what clever pitfall he was hiding from her.

Perhaps if her mind wasn't so dominated by thoughts of Kimihito she would have noticed the second heat signature creeping out from behind the couch in time.

Before she could react, her whole body above the tail was thoroughly drenched in a massive cascade of liquid as though sent from the heavens by an angry god of storms. It easily passed through the silk nightgown like a fang through soft flesh and make total contact with the barely-covered skin beneath. Her red locks, so bouncy and full, became instantly plastered to her body and obscured her vision like a set of skintight blackout blinds.

Parting the now-laboriously heavy hair from her scalp, she looked to see none other than Mr Kira standing from where he must have been hiding behind the couch for goodness knew how long. In his hand was a pot that dripped with water. How long had he been there? No matter, an enemy way an enemy. She smirked, her pupils now surgically precise incisions down a gold surface.

"Ha! You think a pot of water- oh. Oh, no. You-"

She began crumpling to the floor, curling up in a tight ball. She forced open a heavy-lidded eye to look at a chunk of something very white, very cold and very rapidly melting on her palm.

"This isn't just water, it's… ice w-water?!"

"Sorry, Miia, but it had to be done."

Her gold iris slid up to look at Darling, standing over her with a towel and an apologetic expression. He draped the towel over her like a blanket and started to mop up the stingingly frigid droplets.

The dark-haired young man laughed awkwardly. "It's a good think Mr Kira was here, I probably wouldn't have been able to trick you on my own."

"I-t's imp-possible… how… d-didn't I s-sense… his h-h-heat signature sooner?" she slurred, forcing herself to look at the salaryman. He simply met her gaze evenly.

"B-but... Darling... you s-s-said..." She made one last effort to push herself back up before the cold finally took her and she collapsed, comatose.

And with that, the room was quiet.

The two men stared for a moment, then turned to each other. "Heat signature?" Kira inquired. His neighbour just shrugged.

"I've heard of snakes that can sense body heat from other animals. I guess it makes sense for lamias have that too."

Kimihito exhaled. "I just hope this doesn't come back to haunt me. Me tricking her like that can't have been easy for her, even if I know it was for the right reason. I know how she feels about me."

The taller man settled a rare hand on his neighbour's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself, Kimihito. As you said, it had to be done. She was out of control."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." The young man let out a long and weary sigh, then shook his head quickly and stepped behind the couch to pick up a pair of hot water bottles in one hand and a pile of bath towels in the other. "Well, onto stage two of the plan, I guess. Let's get her dried off and warmed up."

As they set about the arduous process of full-body drying a comatose half-snake woman, Kimihito turned to Kira. "Remember, Mr Kira," he said, "we need to dry her off quickly and perfectly. If we leave her even a little wet her body heat will be sapped and she might get seriously injured, even get sent to the hospital."

" _Hopefully to the morgue_ ," muttered the blond under his breath.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

 **-To be continued in chapter 15: Consequences-**

* * *

 **Fun fact, this chapter has been sitting almost finished at ~8000 words for the better part of seven months. I realise that this enormous gap between updates is hardly ideal, but rest assured, I will do my best not to abandon this story. I know exactly what happens and how it ends.**

 **By the way, if anyone's looking for a touching story then they should try out** _ **Koe no Kitachi**_ **, or** _ **A Silent Voice**_ **in English. It's a wonderful comic about a deaf girl's journey through her middle and high school years and an excellent read. Another one I've read is** _ **She Doesn't Know Why She Lives**_ **, a cute little story about a girl with depression pondering her own life. As for other fanfictions try** _ **Traitor's Face**_ **, an** _ **Avatar: The Last Airbender**_ **story that was recently completed at a grand total of 83 chapters. Finally, I'd like to recommend the** _ **The Kin**_ **book series by Peter Dickinson. It's a series of four books about ancient humans that I loved as a child and have recently rediscovered after clearing out a drawer. Oh, a** **nd Merry Christmas!** **  
**


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